Overheard at lunchtime..

[twiglett]

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It's horrible, isn't it? It sounds like some modern substitute for foot-binding, and to find Mothers colluding in starving their daughters for the meat market....ugh!

Eeeek! Does the woman have no common sense? It's bad enough having two children competing to see who can weigh the least, without an adult who should know better joining in!

I've seen for myself the damage that eating disorders can do. Surely as parents we should be trying to prevent them??

At lunch today there was a young mother sitting next to me with a 3 year old little girl who couldn't have looked more pale and sickly, who had quite a bad case of eczema over her face and arms. My DS has eczema too, so I was feeling sympathy with them, when the mum lights up a cigarette and gives the little girl a bottle of coke.

There was a terrible article on the BBC website about a ballerina who was sacked for being too heavy - it was all 'she won't give up her ice cream' and 'the male dancers were worried about lifting her, she was so big - they might have done themselves an injury' and how she didn't want to watch her weight - she was 5'7 and 110 pounds. Really obese then.

That's awful...

I'm a 10 on the bottom and a 12 on the top, and my Mother says I'm 'fat'!!!!

I'm not sure how I grew up without an eating disorder?

Actually I'm happy with my weight and I have never dieted in my life, I have a little 'Jelly belly' after having 2 kids, but I'm happy enough with it, not to do anything about it.

Just because she weighs 7 and a half stone she thinks everyone over that has a weight problem, and it really pisses me off!!!!!

When I see her she asks me to turn around so she can check out the size of my bum, aand then comments accordingly....

Ok, rant over.... sorry Twiglett if I took over your thread!!!

That's so awful, I can hardly believe people can be so insensitive (and well, thick). Blu, your footbinding analogy was really apt, it's exactly what it's like when it's handed on from mother to daughter like that.

Twiglett, I wish you had hit her, it would have made for a very interesting court case (or newspaper headline- Heavily Pregnant Woman Launches Unprovoked Attack on Skinny Mother)

"Skinny Mother Attacked By Passing Twiglett!"

Dreadful, but not surprised. I was at a girls' boarding school and the competition to be skinny was incredible. Looking back I wonder if the fact that i put on 2 stone within 6 months of coming home and finally "started" (very late) is significant!

My Dbro is a little heavy at the moment (not too bad, but wobbly, through bad diet and lack of exercise, juniors in his school do one hour of "dance" every 3 weeks). Have had a huge showdown with DH about constant nagging.

Also had a great comment from MIL when she first met me "ooh, you're a bit larger than his usual type". I'm 5'7" weiged 50kg at 5 months pregnant and was in hospital on a drip with hypermesis!

Thats awful. My 6 yr old said she was fat the other day. You couldn't get a child with less fat on her. I told her she was not in the least bit fat, how could she be when all of her trouers fall down.

This whole one really bothers me. Battled with a serious eating disorder myself and I NEVER comment on dsd's weight or what she eats or any other woman for that matter, except to pay them a compliment.

Also have a small relative with serious eczema who is given nothing but crap to eat, and who really suffers.

I know I probably sound a bit judgemental but surely there are some really simple words and actions that could go a long, long way in these instances? One bad comment can stay with us for years and years and just lead to hang ups (shudder!!)

One of my most enduring childhood memories is that of the sound of my other forcefully sucking her tummy in (a sort of snorty sound), followed by her asking me from a very early age if she looked 'fat'.
Another haunting and hurtful memory is of her saying to me when I was 14 and a size 14 - "well, I can't believe you are a size 14 - if you get to be a 16 I'll put you on a diet".
So so so damaging - no wonder you were mad about this mother's cmments. I would have been too.

Apropos recent MN conversations about intervening if a parent appears to be abusing their child physically, would anyone feel confident in challenging this form of abuse in public? I suppose she wasn't wrenching slices of cake from their grasp, but still. Am I getting carried away?

My friend's daughter is a really beautiful girl and she is convinced that she's fat and wants to diet (she's only 12) and get this...its because of something her teacher said!! awful.

My mother told me when I was 19 that I shouldn't wear a bolero jacket (it was the 80s) as it made my bum look too big. I was 5'8" and weighed 9 stone, and I have been wedded to long jackets and oversize sweaters ever since. Lord knows what she would say if she could see me now. Her diaries from when she was first married are all full of diets and how she was proud of her flat stomach. She was a big crash dieter and I am utterly convinced it contributed to her dying young. The weight issue is such a difficult one, isn't it? I pray I get it right when dd is bigger, encouraging a healthy weight without going too far in either direction.

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I could have murdered my MIL last night - she announced in front of DS1 (aged 6) she was starting a 'diet'. We have never used that word in this house, have been really careful to call it 'eating healthily' so as not to draw attention to the fact that I have, at frequent intervals, tried to lose weight. DS thinks everyone eats loads of fruit & veg and that eating that way is perfectly normal, not some sort of punishment.
So of course, DS wants to know what a diet is, and MIL obligingly explains all to him before I can whisk him out of the room .