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Original poster

Are Social Services going to get involved??

24 replies

mieow · 14/04/2004 07:16

I had to take DD2 to hospital yesterday after she managed to open a child proof bootle of Priton and drunk some. She was fine after being in hospital for 4 hours, but the sister came into the room after the doctor finished talking to me, asking all sorts of things. She was asking if I had a partner, are SS already involved? She said she has to inform my Health visitor and the HV will come round and see us. But because she was asking about SS does that mean they have to be informed.
SS are involved with us because I have two disabled kids and they are coming out soon to assess DD1s needs and have suggested Shared care,
It was an accident, and now I feel like the worlds worse mother

OP posts:

hmb · 14/04/2004 07:39

Please don't beat yourself up about this. These things happen to almost every parent. I don't know if the SS will become involved and I don't fully know what shared care is, but if they are offering help is that always a bad thing? (not meaning any offence at all) If they assess your dd1s needs and they can help in some way then that might be the sliver lining to the cloud of the accident.

Please. please don't beat yourself up. It was an accident. They happen.

Flip · 14/04/2004 07:46

Don't get worked up mieow. Ds2 was in hospital last week and they asked me the same questions even though his was an illness. When he was in the hospital a month ago with an illness my health visitor was informed and she came out to see me. It's just to offer support.

A friend of mine had the same worries after her baby was admitted four times in only a couple of months with a dislocated shoulder each time. She was terrified that they were accusing her of abusing her child. Instead the health visitor offered her support and got her baby reffered to a specialist who found out why his shoulder kept dislocating.

I'm sure everything will be okay. Take whatever help you can.

bunny2 · 14/04/2004 07:55

Mieow, you are not a bad Mum at all, these child-proof lids give us all a false snese of security. I carry piriton everywhere and last week a freinds 2.5 y/o opened the bag, got the piriton out, got the lid off and drank some. I felt terrible. We rushed to Boots and spoke to the pharmacist who assured us he would be fine. Apparently for piriton to be dangerous, a child would need to drink bottles of it. I had a friend who was visited by SS after a big domestic fight, they were very supportive and offered her help (she declined and ditched the bloke). Pls dont worry yourself too much.

bunny2 · 14/04/2004 07:56

sorry that was a bit disjointed, just wanted to allay some fears.

Freckle · 14/04/2004 07:58

Every time a child ends up in A&E, the hospital are duty bound to inform SS. It's one of the checks to ensure that a child isn't subject to neglect/abuse. Goodness knows what SS think of us - with 3 boys I virtually have my own seat in the waiting room

They also inform your GP. I always get a call from my GP's surgery after a visit to A&E to ask if the child is now OK.

Accidents happen and they will be able to tell the difference between that and a child who is at risk.

fairydust · 14/04/2004 08:02

mieow hope you n yours are ok

xxx

Podmog · 14/04/2004 08:13

Message withdrawn

StripyMouse · 14/04/2004 08:28

If your health visitor is as sensible and honest as mine, I am sure any contact will be out of wanting to clarify exactly what happened in her own mind and then to offer you a bit of sympathy, reassurance and support. As others have said, this kind of questioning is routine - not very nice to undergo at an already stressful time, but afterwards it does feel soemwhat comforting to know that the NHS is trying to look out for children and their best interests. My DD1 fell off a swing in a friend?s garden last summer and we took her to A and E just to check there were no breaks - had similar experience. I remember getting quite defensive and upset at the time, but after a few days felt a bit more philosophical. I dreaded my HV phoning/coming round and stupdily went OTT keeping the house immaculate and my DD dressed perfectly tidy and clean just in case I was "raided"!! In fact, when she did ring, a week later, she was lovely, asked very sensible questions, explained why and actually ended up boosting my confidence and making me feel better rather than (I had imagined) accusing me or pointing the finger.

Jimjams · 14/04/2004 08:33

mieow- my friend's 7 year old autistic dd got into our medicine cabinet and ate day nurse. I know she didn't get any hassle from it. It may actually have "helped" her as she had been refused direct payments by SS having been told she was no more needy than any naval wife of 2 kids (her husband works away). I think this helped SS realise thatmost people don't have to watch 7 year olds every minute of the day.

I was telephoned by my HV after I took ds1 to hospital for falling off a toy garage. I know my aunt was contacted by SS after she took her ds to casualty 3 times in a short space of time. I think its fairly routine. If SS do contact you take the opportunity to tell them what help you need.

handlemecarefully · 14/04/2004 08:34

My experience may reassure you. I took my daughter to casualty twice only 3 or 4 months apart - once because I found her sat in a pool of bleach when she was around 9 months old (I couldn't be sure whether or not she had swallowed any of it), and once because she ate a karvol capsule. Social services did not pay a visit.

eidsvold · 14/04/2004 08:54

mieow - everytime my dd is in hospital ( we are able to skip a and e) we are called by our HV - she is sensible etc and just calls to check all is well with dd and if I need any more advice or have any concerns. Hopefully your HV will be sensible and just call to reassure you. I find it hard to imagine SS would be involved for this once off.

It was an accident - don't beat yourself up about it. ( i know easier said than done.)

Freckle · 14/04/2004 09:08

I took DS1 to casualty twice in one day. Mind you, they were different hospitals. First time, in the morning, he'd fallen and cut his face right next to his eye (I went to make sure there was no damage to the eye) so I took him to my local hospital. Second time,in the afternoon, we were visiting my parents (not far away, but in a different health authority) and he pulled a concrete bird bath onto himself. The doctor at the second hospital was actually amused when I explained that the face injury was nothing to do with the birdbath incident and that we'd been to another casualty already that day and made some cracks about SS knocking on my door.

I have since been to my local hospital more times than I care to remember with DS2 and DS3, and have ended up in 2 other hospitals in my county on separate occasions. I just hope that the different SS departments don't compare notes, or they might wonder why I'm spreading my visits so far afield

twiglett · 14/04/2004 09:11

message withdrawn

twiglett · 14/04/2004 09:11

message withdrawn

coppertop · 14/04/2004 09:25

Whenever you take a child to the hospital (unless for a scheduled appointment) they always go through a checklist asking if you have any contact with services like Portage, SS etc. It's just so that any relevant documentation can be sent to them if needed and also to cover themselves.

I had to take ds1 to A&E when he was about 10mths old after he climbed up on to a work-surface and pulled hot coffee off a shelf on to himself. My big worry was that it had gone into his eye. It hadn't. The nurse said they had an on-site worker who checks each case involving children and decides whether to refer the case to the HV, SS etc. We didn't hear from anyone.

Original poster

mieow · 14/04/2004 10:30

I think it didn't help that I was in A&E with DD1 on thursday after she fell and crack her head out and it was pouring blood and then just 5 days later I am back with different child and different thing........

OP posts:

Original poster

mieow · 14/04/2004 10:32

ANd she "could" have drunk about 20x the doseage for her age, there was lots on the floor and sofa so I think she properally only drank a small amount....

OP posts:

willow2 · 14/04/2004 13:41

This thread reminds me of being young... my darling brother ate an entire pot of fluoride tablets, ate an ashtray full of cigarette butts and stuck a nappy pin up his bum whilst having his nappy changed - although obviously not all on the same day - so A&E were on first name terms with my mum.

30 years on and he is still daft as a balloon.

Original poster

mieow · 14/04/2004 17:19

The hospital Social worker phoned me up asking lots of questions again. She asked about Megans stratches on her face, which I told Bethan done, and she is going to write to CAMHS again and also to SS to try and get some shared care for us. She understood that its hard for usand was very understanding, though DH is worried they will take the kids away.........
I knew they would phone us.....

OP posts:

Nutcracker · 14/04/2004 17:22

I don't think they will get SS involved. I think it will be left up to the H.V to visit and then that will be it.
When i was younger a friends son had several accidents in the space of a few weeks. On his 3rd trip to a&e the H.V was informed. She rang my friend and said that she had to make a visit as routine, but as far as she was concerned there was no problem.

Original poster

mieow · 14/04/2004 17:25

She said that if it had just been the Priton, they would have just passed it over to the HV but because the nurses and sister had concerns about DD2 face with the stratches, they had to take the case and investigate it. I have been telling them all for months I need help, and that DD1 has behaviour problems and is hurting her siblings but they haven't done a thing about it, well maybe they will now, only took my baby to take Priton.....

OP posts:

hmb · 14/04/2004 17:28

It is a sick, sad world, meiow, but at least something might get done now.

Hugs to all of you

Original poster

mieow · 14/04/2004 17:29

I just am feeling very crap atm, and quite depressed by it all...........

OP posts:

Thomcat · 14/04/2004 17:46

When Lottie fell off the sofa and I was worried about her a couple of days later I took her to the hospital. She had an XRay and it turned out she had a virus that made her joints ache and was nothing to do with her little tumble. However the incident was still reported to my health visitor. It's a good thing that these things are noted, and doesn't reflect on you as a mother. However it does feel weird and make you feel you've done something wrong, or been negletful, I do understand, that's how I felt for a moment.

You haven't done anything wrong and have no reason to feel bad. Your little girl was doing what little girls, and boys, do, getting into mischief, as they do. You did what any good mother would do - notice and go to the hospital.

Big hug to you {{{{{{{}}}}}} TC xxxxx

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