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Original poster

Why do Dad always seem to be the bad ones on MN?

17 replies

Amaretto · 04/10/2006 16:13

I have been following a few threads recently and I was surprised to see that nearly everytime a mum as a problem her DH then it is the DH fault.
'He needs to grow up', 'Just leave him', are examples of comments from some posters and I was wondering why they have such a bad press.
One thing that becoming a mum as taught me is that every child and every person is different and deserves to be treated with respect. So why so many strong comments on dads? Is it because there are so few of them on MN?

OP posts:
trinityrhino · 04/10/2006 16:15

I think that we just have to realise that noone really posts about their husband being nice cause they don't need any support whne that is happening

sleepycat · 04/10/2006 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mhamai · 04/10/2006 16:22

Also, can't think of the poster but one did come on recently expecting dp/dh to get lashed and her lots of sympathy but it totally backfired on her as it turned out she was being a bit of a bint, personally I think women on MN don't just back other women for the sake of it but do try and look at situations from all perspectives, hence why you often get a lot of posters looking for the MN jury.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 04/10/2006 16:30

Because it's a women's site.

On a man's site, no doubt, it would be different. Or even on a more mixed site.

lulunaticmama · 04/10/2006 16:34

agree with trinity rhino - there are so few places women can truly be themselves - the anonymity here allows you to express things you couldn't or wouldn't say in real life.

what's wrong with looking for some (mostly) female support?

i'm sure when a group of men get together and talk about their wives, we don;t neccesarily get all good press!

if someone left their partner etc.. cos of something someone said on here, then the relationship was obviously at breaking point anyway!

misdee · 04/10/2006 16:35

my dh is wonderful

cant do a bloomin thing, but wonderful [love]

nailpolish · 04/10/2006 16:36

omg you should read some of the forums my dh uses

'football' forum

er, nothing ive seen on it is football

"my wife wont let me practice my golf shots in the garden. she cares more about the flower beds than my swing" is one that springs to mind

TwigTwoolett · 04/10/2006 16:36

Maybe because we only get the woman's side most of the time

but in general I feel that mners do consider as much of the wider picture as possible and that is an unfair assumption

I have recently written 'he needs to grow up' on a thread about a father who "Dp feels that to do less of what he loves would be martyrdom/compromise/selflessness - all things he doesn't believe in " so he spends his free time doing fun stuff like learning to fly rather than coming home to spend it with his toddler

but I also told the mother that she needed to take control

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/10/2006 16:37

Its all about perspective, isnt it?

That'd be a fab emoticon misdee [love]

lulunaticmama · 04/10/2006 16:38

Amaretto - on these threads -do you think the criticism of the man was totally unjustified? not nit picking, jut interested...some threads can be quite humorous or tongue in cheek too...but possibly not appear that way to a bloke?

UnquietDad · 04/10/2006 16:41

There is the occasional "My DH is great" thread which someone starts to counteract all the moaning. I've not been here long, but I think there is an awful lot of DH-bashing. It's inevitable, I suppose, that people will ask for support when things are bad, rather than want to share when they are good.

(At a guess, roughly half the people here have sons, and they're probably going to grow up to be someone's DH one day! And be moaned about on whatever the 2025 equivalent of this place is...)

lulunaticmama · 04/10/2006 16:46

it's human nature to talk more about the bad than the good - doesn;t mean we don't love our DHs or DPs or hate men in general!

i have a son,if when he is grown up and has a family of his own, if he behaved the way some of the men do when they are discussed on here, i'd have a go at him too!

CheesyFeetcomingtoGETyou · 04/10/2006 17:05

I moan about my dh on here

Most of the time it's tongue in cheek

He's fab really

SharpAndSpikeyOHara · 04/10/2006 17:12

having only read the title I just want to say...

...Because the site is full of women.

Original poster
Amaretto · 04/10/2006 20:15

Oh... Ididn't expect such a huge level of response!
What I was thinking about is few occasion where some posters didn't seem to want to take into account the bloke's perspective and therefore the advice didn't seem to me to actually help the OP.
Agree with TwigTwoolett, it's probably because we just have the woman side of the story but I think there is also a tendency to think that men are wrong when they don't share our point of view (I think bf, extented bf, sharing childcare etc...) The point of view that seems predominant is actually quite feminist, even more than me and I thought I was one of them!

OP posts:
lulunaticmama · 04/10/2006 20:40

feminist - as in we don't bow and scrape to our husbands and we have opinions!! only kidding - tis a brave man who takes on mumsnet....! welcome !

motherinferior · 04/10/2006 21:08

Speaking as an 'actually quite feminist', I'd say that in fact rather a lot of MNers still take up the 'oh what do you expect, they're all little boys/led by their willies/unable to do a thing' attitude.

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