Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

DH and Stag night qaundry??

27 replies

melsy · 13/04/2004 16:31

Dh would like to go on a much needed weekend away on stag night in Amsterdam. There are several issues with this , mainly the financial expense which is really not needed right now £300 +. Also part of me is worried about spending a night alone right now, anxiety attacks and all (but they are declining now).There is also the fact that the stag is for a close uni friend of 13 years and we socialise with him amnd fiance and dont know what to say. They are not close to me. I mentioned them on the thread "stupid things people say withought kids" thread, so I have nothing to loose, but dh has if he upsets him by not going. If he doesnt make a decision soon he will loose the oppurtuntity to get a cheap flight.

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 16:39

Just an excuse for him to get lashed , not really a rest away now is it !!!What I wanna know is when can I go and get high in Amsterdam !!!

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:20

??

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:23

not sure what the problem is?

does he want to go?
can you afford it?
will you be ok on your own for a weekend? could you get someone to come and stay and give you a girlie weekend at home maybe?
are you wanting to negotiate a return-the-favour thing with dh so you get a weekend away too?

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:26

Yes he does want to
No we cant afford it
Not sure about the weekend , havent mentioned it to mum or sisters
Yes would like a weekend away , but dh feels I get enough ME time with my therapy!!!

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:28

does he agree that you can't afford it?

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:28

sort of ish.

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:29

so is he taking a "we can't afford it but sod it, it's only money" attitude then?

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:30

Yes , which is funny cos im the one that gets all parctical about it!!!

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:31

ok, so what would his reaction be if you said "no you can't go, we can't afford it and i need you around at the moment"?

Sulking? Grudging acceptance?

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:32

yes hed be right pissed off with me & I dont wnat him to resent me for it. It will come up in an argument and be thrown at me!!

OP posts:
Grommit · 13/04/2004 17:33

Hi Melsy - would he really resent it if you did not 'let' him go? If so might be worth you negotiating your own weekend away? If he does go make sure you can get someone to stay with you - you shouldn't be alone at the moment

spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:34

in that case i would say to him "i'm fine with you going, but i'm a bit concerned about the money aspect. Can we afford it?". Then let him think about it and make up his own mind.

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:35

Hi Grommit u 7 baby ok ?? , will i see u next week???, I would like time away but probably wont do it myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:36

Ive already had a go at him as he always wants me to make these decision for him and I just dont have the capacity at the moment. You are right that I need to make the responsibilty his for once.

OP posts:
Grommit · 13/04/2004 17:37

Melsy - are you going to Willows Fri? I should be there - in Ireland at the mo staying with family. When is the stag weekend?

spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:39

oh yes, the responsibility for the decision should definitely be on his shoulders! It's a little childish to expect you to decide for him. Is it possible there's a part of him that doesn't really want to go and he's hoping you'll stop him? Does he really like this bloke?

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:39

Yes Willows, looking forward to it. Just havent been on motorway since before PG and panic attacks. Thats another thread !!! I think I mightbe ok , will b good for me to do it alone. I think!!

I think its in May June ?

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:41

Will there all a bit flashy, jack the lad , up to no good types and hes not really like that. May be theres something in what your saying , I am normally so perceptive of this, didnt cross my mind. ususally does!!

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:42

sounds to me like he feels an obligation to go because of the long standing friendship but actually doesn't really want to, and wants you to stop him from going so he has someone else to blame!

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:43

That sounds about right !!!

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:43

men - bless 'em

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:44

I just dont really want to look like the nagging jealous wife , as I see them too. Although they are not high in my estimations!!

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 13/04/2004 17:45

don't let him push the responsibility onto you then, why should you be the "bad guy"?

Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 17:46

I told him id ask mumsnet as he was driving me nuts. He isnt gonna like the outcome, tough Knickers eh!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
melsy · 13/04/2004 18:00

Thank girls xx

OP posts: