This is my first ever thread, I came here to get the help I'm struggling to get elsewhere! I'm 22weeks with my 2nd child (4 year old daughter already present!)
Around week 13 things with my OH changed, he started to lie about his whereabouts, stay out till 5am steaming drunk and had a complete personality change! He just didn't seem to care about me at all anymore! Up until this point he had been the most loyal and devoted fiancé I could ask for. He really pushed for this second baby even though I had doubts. He blames this behaviour on the fact I had changed. I became more controlling and didn't make him feel wanted anymore. He suggests we have a weekend apart for a breather so I took off to my mums at 15 weeks. While there I find a message sent 3 days previously to another woman that I know he met the night he stayed out till 5am 'Pwoar, give me your number, shh don't tell anyone.' To say it destroyed me is an understatement. He admitted he text her for a couple of days before realising what he was doing was stupid and calling it off. He swears it never went further than that and if I hadn't found the message we would have been none the worse because it had already stopped.
If I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't be with him. What I'm finding hard is never being sure of how far things went with her. I have to try and believe him and work to get over the fact he was talking to another woman. But I can't! 3 days prior to his message to her we put the deposit down on our wedding! The next one is due in May. I can't talk to him. He accuses me of 'dwelling' which will stop us moving on, he says he hates what he did, didn't know what his head was doing and nothing like it will happen again. I have never been in a relationship where I trusted someone so implicitly until him and I don't know if I can ever trust him again or move on. Everyday is an internal battle and I can't talk to anyone. Has anyone had a similar experience and got through it? I don't want to be told to 'leave him' please because that's not an option right now, I need encouragement and hope from others that have been here too and can tell me it will get better. Do I have to forgive and forget as I will never know whether texting was as far as it went? He is a 100% committed boyfriend except for those bad few weeks and what he did was entirely out of character, if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to let him back in. As it is, I am trying.