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Original poster

Which do you prefer? Spotless or Lived In?

23 replies

Radley · 03/10/2006 09:42

It's my birthday tomorrow, and I wasn't going to do anything, but, my mate is travelling 235 miles to come and belp me celebrate, so I'm going on a BIG girly night out on Saturday.

My question is, I have ALOT on this week, appointments, a friend taking me to lunch on friday etc, and, as per usual when someone is coming to stay, I make myself ill with stress getting the house spick and span, which is hard when I have dd1 (7) and dd2 (4)and a hubby who doesn't know how to clean the bath.

My house is not dirty by any means, but, lived in, whereas hers is spotless, due to her and her dh being out 7-7 each day and no children.

If you went to stay somewhere where the house was not spotless, would you be bothered?

I'm washing the duvet and pillow in the bed she is sleeping in so they will be fresh and she has her own towels etc.

Am I worrying needlessly?

OP posts:

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 03/10/2006 09:43

Would feel much more comfortable in a lived in house than somewhere that I was afraid to move incase I made a mess etc

nailpolish · 03/10/2006 09:43

yes you are

stop worrying! she is your friend, she is coming to see you not your house

have a lovely birthday

MerlinsBeard · 03/10/2006 09:45

I worry all the time about my house being spotless. DP has clients round alot (hes a musician and producer) but i go with the theory that if its clean and tidy then thats ok. That means that there can be toys lying around but not masses of them and that theere can be a pile of "stuff" on the computer table as long as its a tidy pile.

At the end of the day, u and ur children live in ur house, we can't all have homes Anthea would be proud of

colditz · 03/10/2006 09:49

LOL dep[ends who is cleaning it, me or someone else!

Original poster

Radley · 03/10/2006 09:50

Ideally I would love to live in a house as tidy and organised house like antheas house, but know it is not always possible.

OP posts:

Original poster

Radley · 03/10/2006 09:51

LOL colditz. Obviously the vaccing and dusting etc will be done, toys tidied but she is staying 4 days so clutter will build up again.

OP posts:

RudyDudy · 03/10/2006 09:59

I always feel intimidated in a house that's too spotless - especially if they have kids. I think it's a bit weird and can be unwelcoming, however lovely. My DH says that we have a working house, not a show house. Agree that your friend is coming to see you not your house. Last time we had visitors and they house wasn't great I said I hope you feel flattered that I didn't feel the need to tidy for you. I would have done had it not been such a good friend.

nailpolish · 03/10/2006 10:06

radley - remember, anthea has never had any children, so she can dedicate her life to her house

also, she is rich, she can afford to potter around at home not worrying where the pennies are coming from

and ill bet my arse she has staff

CheesyFeetcomingtoGETyou · 03/10/2006 10:07

My house only gets cleaned and tidied properly when visitors come round. Most people aren't bothered if it's a bit cluttered. DH would rather live in a show home but he needs to learn to pick up after himself if he wants that to happen

The only person I worry about when they visit is MIL, her house is spotless, but her one child (dh obv) is grown up and littering my house now and she works p/t so has time to do cleaning.

I would be fine going round to a non-spotless house, especially if there were children living there. I'm pretty desensetised to mess and muck though as I have lived in some pretty grim student holes in my time.

expatinscotland · 03/10/2006 10:08

I would expect a home w/children to be 'lived in' at the least.

Anthea has staff, no kids of her own and pots of money.

Original poster

Radley · 03/10/2006 10:10

Thanks all, you've made me feel better. I'll try and relax and hope this headache will disappear.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 03/10/2006 10:11

Your mate is coming to see you, Radley.

When I go visit someone, it's for the pleasure of their company, not their spotless - or not - home.

themoon666 · 03/10/2006 10:11

Clean is vital I think. Untidiness is normal. Having said that, i too race round like a loon getting hot, sweaty and stressed tidying and cleaning prior to visitors.

nailpolish · 03/10/2006 10:12

if you are still worried, put some fresh flowers in her room.. she will be delighted

Original poster

Radley · 03/10/2006 10:13

oooooh nailpolish, good idea

OP posts:

LieselVonTrappDoor · 03/10/2006 11:13

Spotless

badkarma · 03/10/2006 11:31

Wouldn't bother me either way to be honest. Well, truth be told, i'd like it clean enough to be able to eat out the kitchen and not be worried that there might be things growing on the plates etc... but only one house I have ever been in was like that and it was a quick visit and not an overnight stay.

I quite like a but of a mess... my sister is one of these anthea types, she will go round after you propping up cushions, rubbing the seat you have just sat in... huh, personally I find that much worse than a wee bit of dirt or untidiness

MrsScareyFish · 03/10/2006 11:33

dimt eh lights no one will see

Gobbledispook · 03/10/2006 11:33

I prefer my house spotless but anyone else's house is just not an issue to me. Unless it's really bad i don't even notice and even if it is it's no big deal.

soapbox · 03/10/2006 11:41

I like spotless kitchen and bathrooms - in terms of clean, no skid marks and no mucky mugs! I do find people's bathroom clutter offputting though - I really don't want to see the evidence of how they remove excess hair or what contraceptives they might use etc etc.

Otherwise, I'm pretty relaxed.

KTeepee · 03/10/2006 13:47

I was in a house recently and it was so spotless, and more importantly, clutter-free, that it was a bit scary - almost looked like no-one lived there.

I always take it as a compliment if a friend's house is slightly messy when I visit - I know then that she thinks of me as such a good friend that she doesn't feel the need to "impress" by getting it looking pristine.

If you really feel like yo have to make some effort, I would clean the bathroom and then do whatever else you have time for. Keep the bedroom doors shut and if your living room is messy refer to it as the "playroom"!

joelallie · 03/10/2006 13:53

soapbox - I agree re bathrooms and kitchens - clean and ucluttered as poss. But apart from that as long as she's got clean sheets (and the flowers are a lovely idea) I don't think you need worry.

LadyDooM · 03/10/2006 14:11

I would like a spotless house...but I have 3 kids and most importantly a Husband. So basically, This house will never ever be spotless. But why worry so much? Its not likely that I'll be judged and burn in hell for not keeping a tidy home. But Damn it!!! I want spotless!!! But then again...do I wanna be the one to do all the cleaning? And if something happened to my kids and husband I would miss the toys and games and stuff being everywhere including the kitchen...

Heres a trick, get a clothes basket and throw everything not in its place into the basket and shove it away into a closet till your friend is gone. Works well for last minute guests to!

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