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Original poster

Wedding lists/asking for money

13 replies

Smurfgirl · 01/10/2006 22:03

Are wedding lists v.tacky?

Is asking for money for your honeymoon even tackier (whether it be asking for money, or for travel vouchers?)

Hmm.

OP posts:
Bellie · 01/10/2006 22:05

both the weddings that I have been to this year have asked for vouchers towards their honeymoon.

PretendFriend · 01/10/2006 22:07

I think if you word it carefully it should be OK!

So many people get married after having set up home that they just don't need 3 toasters and 4 coffeemakers any more and people do know that.

wheelybug · 01/10/2006 22:17

The best 'asking for money towards honeymoon' I have contributed to is where they were travelling independently around NZ and they asked people to choose particular things such as 'a night at x', 'x number of miles on the plane', 'entry into x' ... you get the gist. Takes some organising and doesn't work if you're doing a traditional honeymoon (and why not!).

Otherwise, as others say, if you word it right I think it'll be ok... After all, if you have a wedding list like most do, you know how much people have spent and at least this way it takes the strss out of choosing !! But don't be upset if great aunt gertrude insists on buying you a cut glass crystal salt and pepper pot - she would have done whatever you asked !

wheelybug · 01/10/2006 22:18

PS - we actually DID get cut glass s&p pots - they were hideous...

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 01/10/2006 22:19

I also think it depends on how it's worded.

In general, I think they are considered tacky but that's only because the English are so tight-arsed about talking about money. IMO helping the bride and groom to have a honeymoon which might otherwise be a real financial strain for them (or not happen at all) is a much better present than giving them something they don't really need and probably won't use once the novelty's worn off. I'd much rather know I'd contributed to a lovely honeymoon than another e-bay item.

If it's for you, just word it very carefully and check with a couple of friends you know will be honest until you've got the tone just right.

milward · 01/10/2006 22:20

Great idea to have a super honeymoon paid for by your wedding guests. You could send thank you postcards.

I'd prefer to pay for this lasting memory rather than some object.

lexiemum · 01/10/2006 22:22

if prefer the money route could you research holiday and ask for money to pay for an outing or meal e.g. £50 for dp to go scubadiving, £30 for trip on gondola in venice and list these in a book and pass around to those who'd prefer to buy something specific. you can then send thankyou letter inclosing pic of you doing whatever they paid for.

only had one wedding where we were asked for money - my cousin who asked for donations towards replanting their garden. wasn't worded very well something along the lines of "we have everything we need, just need to sort the garden out" I rebelled (along with about 20guests) and took a present, was something for the garden though

Original poster
Smurfgirl · 01/10/2006 23:12

I have been looking at honeymoons and i want something more than we can afford tbh and we won't be able to go away straight after the wedding. Thompson do a wedding list style scheme which looked interesting.

We own our own home and will have had it for 3 years by the time we marry so already have a lot of stuff.

Thanks for the input x

OP posts:
jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 01/10/2006 23:20

my mate did this is May this year. Included in the invite wasa lovely little letter stating that as we all knew, they had been living together for 3 years, and had all the usual wedding list gadgets. They said that if people wanted to donate to the home-improvements fund, they were more than welcome to, but the main thing for them was that everyone was there to enjoy the day with them, and that meant more than any gifts or money given.

it was really sweet and you couldnt help but go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hana · 01/10/2006 23:25

am in the minority after reading responses, but I think asking for money is a bit tacky. Of course would depend on wording etc, but dislike the idea

skerriesmum · 01/10/2006 23:28

It's funny how etiquette seems to change, when I got married nearly ten years ago nobody would have mentioned gifts in the invitations, but now everyone has a line in there just saying "... are registered at whatever shop". It does make things easier, especially those online wedding lists.
How are you doing hana, how's the baby?!

hana · 01/10/2006 23:31

oh hello!
baby just fine - is making waking up noises beside me - was waiting for her ( have wireless network in house, is great for late night surfing in bed!) to wake up. My parents are flying over soon for a few weeks, can't wait - they'll be here for Thanksgiving she's busy making up a carepackage - mmmm
how's your bump?

skerriesmum · 01/10/2006 23:32

Good... 15 weeks to go, I'm huge! Lots of kicking too. Oops, there's the phone. Happy Thanksgiving!

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