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Original poster

My dd will never be a ballerina!

52 replies

SSSandy · 30/09/2006 19:05

On Friday dd's ballet class had an open session, so parents could sit in and watch. She's just been moved up to a group with girls mostly a year or two older because so many little kids had joined the old class and she'd become too big for it really. I was amazed at what some of them could do and I have to say I didn't know where to look sometimes watching dd who seems to have no idea at all of how to move her body.

To me it's strange because I only have to watch people dance for a short time to be able to copy what they're doing and I really couldn't understand how if the teacher showed a leg pointed directly in front, dd would translate this into a leg bent wonkily to the side etc.

I'm wondering though if there's some reason why she has so much difficulty with it. It didn't seem normal to me. She told me she did the best she could and I said that's fine , it's just for fun and if she doesn't enjoy it she can stop anytime. Still I am a bit confused (and TBH disappointed) that she seems so uncoordinated still.

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WigWamBam · 30/09/2006 19:10

How old is she?

My dd is 5, loves to dance but has all the grace and elegance of a small stegosaurus. I don't think it's because she's unco-ordinated - just that she's not a naturally graceful child. As long as she enjoys it then that's enough - she has talents in other areas.

It's sometimes hard to see why other people struggle with those things we find difficult but they do - and particularly small children. Does the teacher have any concerns, or is she happy with her progress?

Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 19:18

I haven't spoken to the teacher about it. I hadn't realised quite how well "bad" she is at ballet TBH.

She's just turned 6 and I have often felt frustrated because she's always seemed to find physical skills very difficult to master - like riding a scooter or bike, swimming or climbing. Anything really. I did hope that the ballet had helped but it seems not to be the case really. At least the other girls were not laughing at her, they seem to have a nice group atmosphere in there and the teacher is really lovely.

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WigWamBam · 30/09/2006 19:20

Bear in mind as well that if the other girls are older they've had more chance to get used to the moves, and to feel comfortable with the way their bodies move. She's still only very young.

If you have concerns about her co-ordination in other areas though it might be worth a chat with the GP.

JosephineSmith · 30/09/2006 19:22

Aww, if she enjoys it then, don't worry.
Maybe you might want to take your concerns to the health visitor/doc? Maybe without your daughter, just to get an opinion. There is a condition called dystraxia (cant spell) where children have a problem with co-ordinated things, but i really cant pass comment, i dont know anything about it apart from a sibling of a friend. I dont want to put worries in your head at all, she is probably just not that way inclined, my husband is the least "physical" person in the world, despite being built like Rambo.
My daughter (3) says she would like to be a ballerina, but she will never be prima, with her beautiful podgy limbs and round tum, she looks to yummy!

JosephineSmith · 30/09/2006 19:23

dyspraxia maybe.. Anyone got a dictionary?

Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 19:27

Never heard of it Josephine, I'll have to google and see what comes up. Hope she doesn't have some weird condition though

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Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 19:42

found some good website, thanks for that and I wouldn't say that she has dyspraxia unless she has a very mild form of it. However I think I'll bring it up with GP anyway and see what he has to say.

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albatros · 30/09/2006 19:42

I stopped ballet lessons for dd1 and changed to gymnastics she did enjoy ballet a bit but wanted to do gym more. My mind was made up when I peeped through the window and saw all the others doing pieroets and she was being a Darlek (spellcheck needed again ) Alot of the other girls practiced at home and thier mothers had been involved in ballet and so knew the moves I have never had ballet lessons and have all the grace of a dog squatting !
Don't worry about dysbraxia I am sure you would have seen symptoms before this stage if that was relevant. If she enjoys it that is the main thing

Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 19:59

Oh the other mothers...

"Olga! Olga! 4 beats not 2 dear!"
Glad dd is not the only one with a distinct lack of talent for ballet though.

Was wondering if she shouldn't try kung fu instead (which is what her ballet looks like in fact)

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Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 20:01

Oh the other mothers...

"Olga! Olga! 4 beats not 2 dear!"
Glad dd is not the only one with a distinct lack of talent for ballet though.

Was wondering if she shouldn't try kung fu instead (which is what her ballet looks like in fact)

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TooTicky · 30/09/2006 20:03

Ballet is overrated.

flashingnose · 30/09/2006 20:05

dd1 was truly rubbish at ballet (which surprised me as she loves dancing and is always wafting about at home) and didn't really seem to enjoy it, so we stopped when she was just 5. She's just about to turn 6 and has just started a disco class which she loves and is actually quite good at. So there's hope

Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 20:06

maybe she found ballet too structured

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ilovecaboose · 30/09/2006 20:06

I have never been particularly graceful or coordinated.

Not very good at sport or dance (and I knew it) - but absolutely loved it . USed to do a lot of dance as a child, and quite a bit of sport as I got older (swimming, rugby, outdoor weeks, walking, playing tennis and other games with friends and more besides).

Even as a teenager (when embarassed by most things) I loved doing PE etc, even though I made a fool of myself most the time. At least I made them laugh when I got to senior school.

I still have little coordination, no grace and wish I still did sports. I think the important thing in playing team sports or dancing is being part of a group, getting exercise and enjoying it. Not whether you are any good or not.

If she's not bothered by it I wouldn't worry.

flashingnose · 30/09/2006 20:07

BTW, I never did ballet as a child so was majorly shocked at the ballet teacher and the other mums - how seriously do they all take it??

Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 20:15

flashing well I thought she was sort of more or less able to do things so I was quite surprised to see her in action in class. I was thinking maybe a different kind of dance would be good but she likes the teacher and goes with a friend. So she is still happy with it.

I was wondering if there was much point in it though. I mean the teacher is good, innovative and the girls love her but let's say they play lifts with their right leg pointed straight in front. They go up to say the 7th floor, moving their leg up bit by bit, 1st, 2nd etc and everyone does this except dd who instead of holding the bar behind her is bent to one side and gripping it oddly, her leg is bent not straight and it all seems a pointless exercise for her. Almost the whole hour was like that. Except for the little dance at the end where they do what they like.

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Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 20:16

caboose ballet AND rugby?!

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flashingnose · 30/09/2006 20:18

I have to say, she does sound like dd1 (and you're right, ballet was way too structured for her). I was really surprised at how out of time she was and how all the others were doing what they were supposed to and she was basically away with the fairies. But your dd is enjoying it, that is by far the most important thing. I think dd1 got fed up of being barked at for having her feet an inch too far apart

southeastastra · 30/09/2006 20:22

i think it's good for them if she likes going, you remember it when you're older too and it reminds you how to keep your back straight! she's still little

dinny · 30/09/2006 20:25

does she enjoy going to the classes, SSSandy?

if she does, should let her continue and not worry about it. let's face it, probably less than 1% of a ballet teacher's class are ever going to continue after about age 12...?

otherwise, why not do a martial art - much more feisty and relevant, really...

dd does ballet once a week - as long as she enjoys it, she'll continue, though am not holding out for her first dance at Sadler's Wells

Chandra · 30/09/2006 20:25

SSsandy, some people have a inherited talent and some don't (I'm one of the latter). I was always so bad at ballet that in festivalsI always played the weeds at the background. I was well known as the only rat in the Nutcracker that chased the lead soldier on one leg! (very empathic and very uncoordinated me!). I was rubish at any sport until I found fencing in University and set the record straight. Until then I was happy to call myself an "intelectual".

Is not the end of the world, she is, surely, wonderful for something, you only have to find what that is

ilovecaboose · 30/09/2006 20:25

yep - though not at same time

Also tap, morris dancing, folk dancing, clog, garland dancing, and many others.

My rugby team were nearly all as bad as I was though - never scored a single try in any games - we went for the fun of it!

Chandra · 30/09/2006 20:27

BTW I ended up hating ballet so much that I kept asking my mother year after year to take me out of the classes as a christmas gift.

Original poster
SSSandy · 30/09/2006 20:28

Well the funny thing is I registered her at the State Ballet School here and she got a place but unfortunately we couldn't attend the classes since they were on the same day dd has music and it was such a hassle trying to change everything. Thinking now it's just as well we didn't go along!

She used to like the other class which was not ballet as such but more like creative dance, no ballet positions, cartwheels, splits and so on. I'm not sure she's really keen on this new class though. I didn't think she looked happy when I watched her but she did say she was very tired.

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charliecat · 30/09/2006 20:28

Your dd may never be a ballerina, but she may be a fantastic gymnast or football player.
I used to be a great gymnast and was doing backflips at 3. My dds, 8 and 5 cant even do a headstand
Its weird, but one of them is great at netball and the other trys everything and enjoys it.