Would you like to try living my day-to-day life for a while, yomama, before you tell me what I'm capable of doing?
I am on Incapacity Benefit (mine is about £90 a week, if you really want to know), and if you were to look at me you would think that I was capable of work - but not all health problems are obvious from the outside, and things aren't always as black and white as they seem.
I had worked as a secretary with the same company for more than 10 years, until the bad work practices of a new manager left me with RSI. I had been given no option but to sit at a small, cramped desk and type for several hours without a break - my manager would sit beside me and dictate straight onto the PC for three or four hours at a time, twice a day. I couldn't get past him because I was wedged into a corner, and he was reluctant even to let me stop to go to the toilet. Within three months of working for him I was having crippling pains in my hands, wrists, elbows and shoulders. I still get them, every day and all the time, over ten years later.
At first I was told that resting for two weeks would solve it. It didn't. Then they said rest for three months. That didn't help. Ten years later I still have very painful RSI, and I can't work.
Yes, I can type and use a computer - you can all see that - but only for 20 minutes or so at a time, not the constant use that my old job, or any kind of clerical job, would require - and yes, I can use a voice-recognition system to type for me, but that only takes away part of the problem. I can write - but only for 10 minutes, because the pain gets too bad. I can't do repetitive movements, because I end up in too much pain. I have good days and bad, and on a good day I could probably do some work - but on a bad day (and I have more bad days than good) I can't even brush my own hair, let alone anything else. If it rains I get wet, because I can't hold an umbrella. Some days I can't even carry a kettle of water from the sink to the work surface three feet away. I can't hold an iron or push a hoover for more than a couple of minutes at a time.
Of course I get bored. I hated being at home not working when I first had to stop, and I would still rather work than not. Having dd at least gave me a reason not to be unhappy being at home all the time. But who is going to employ someone like me - who wants to work, but who has a problem that many employers don't recognise actually exists, and which many others will run a mile from in case it got worse while I was employed by them, and I sued them.
My dh is on a good salary, and we could probably manage without my IB, although it would be hard. But the RSI wasn't something I chose to happen, it could have been preventable, and if the company hadn't used the working practices they did then I would still be able to work for my money in a way that doesn't mean people would consider me a scrounger. And I know they do, even when they know the full story; I have had emails from more than one MNer telling me so.