Erm same toddler, erm holding onto her poo's

[Flum]

I'm sure that was an innapropriate apostrophe, not to mention an innapropriate subject.

But here's the thing. We tried potty training a few months ago and it seemed ok with wees but no go with poos. She used to not poo for days on end and the longer she went without doing one the worse she felt and behaved noticeable by constantly wanting a cuddle, clutching her lady bits, crying alot, tantrums, mis-behaving. Eventually she would do one and become our dreamy little girl again. Then the cycle starts again and after a few days she was completely hysterical.

Anyway asked her if she wanted to start wearing nappies again, she did. So put her back in nappies but the poo issue continues.

I feel so sorry for her as it has obviously become a huge issue for her, and makes her feel so uncomfortable, stressed.

Help!!!!!
And hello again to those who know me, have been on a few months absence getting used to life with a new baby and toddler too!

Hey flum how are you?

My dd has had these issues ongoing. Movicol sorted her out on the withholding front, but she is now 4 and sTILL refuses to poo in the loo.

Go and get a referral to a paediatrician for this

Hello Flum,

Will watch this with interest as my ds (2.8) is doing the exactly same thing - I haven't really started potty training yet but he's having a real problem letting them go, iykwim. He hasn't done one since Sunday! And he's obviously uncomfortable and getting crampy..I've been giving him Lactulose all week but still nothing.

Someone suggested cutting out cow's milk, which would be easier said than done...it's about all he drinks, though I have been watering it down a bit. I don't know what to do either! Someone help!

Helloooo Countess. Ooh blimey hope don't have to see a Paediatrician. Can you buy Movicol then? Was going to try a skicker chart. ie special treat for 3 poos 3 days in a row - a friend suggested this.

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Hi Flum, you have my sympathy as we've had this off and on since August 05!
We had a hard summer because of it and it got to the stage where ds (3) wouldn't leave the house (as strange as I know that sounds) as I think he just couldn't cope with anything as he was so upset by trying to hold his poo in!

The only thing that has worked for us over the last few weeks-and this is something recommended by a specialist a friend of mine took her dh to with the same complaint-is something called 'toilet story'!!
Every morning after breakfast and every evening after dinner/tea we go to the toilet with a book and have 'toilet story' i.e. ds sits on the toilet and I read to him. There's no pressure for him to actually have a poo (and initially he didn't-now he does or at least within a half hour of the story) and he just relaxes on the toilet and then we get off when the story is over without any pressure.

I also made sure he drank mostly water. He likes apple juice and he has a small amount, watered down, with his meals and water the rest of the time.

I honestly don't know why it works but it worked a treat for us. It might be worth a try.
I hope you find something that works, I know how hard it is to get through it but it does eventually get better.

Best of luck x

Oh God this sounds not only common, but a bit of a mare.

Toilet story sounds good idea.

My MIL says just ignore it and don't make an issue out of it at all.

What happens usually is she waits til she is in bed and we have left her alone then she does one. Then she goes to sleep with a pooey nappy - yeuch!!! or does she do a poo in her sleep? is that even possible. Anyway then I look in when we go to bed and - smell it yeuch!!! and change her nappy while she is still asleep.

They also smell soooooooo much worse than they ever did before!!!!

what a lovely topic eh!

We found that privacy worked with DD2 - she will only poo in our downstairs toilet with the door closed and no-one in beside her. Need to catch her quick afterwards before she starts wiping up but hey

She only goes twice a week and is desperate before she does but when she is struggling to hold on any longer if we pop her in the downstairs toilet and just close the door she gets on with it.

I have heard/read since that the privacy thing can be an issue with toddlers/young children.

Good luck.

I do give her privacy. She is out on the drive in the car as we speak gazing at the sunset and chattering to herself. She WANTED to go in the car I might add!

Aww Flum...can't hlp ya, as I have pretty much the same prob with my ms, almost 4...so, am looking for tips myself!
Cuntes dracula...may I ask...has your dd always done her poos standing up? I am sure that that is part of the problem with my ms...hence him rather pooping in a nappy or his underpants (sigh...not pleasant)...he won't sit down for wees neither nowadays...but him being a boy not so much of a problem. As for that motivol, I assume you get that described at the GP?

DS is 3. Potty-trained earlier this year and wee's were OK but no poos. Bribed with sticker chart and sweets within a week as he kept sneaking off to do it in his pants. We were very VERY calm about it because...

DD1. Where do I start? From babyhood she would only poo during nap-time, ie. privately! And only every other day. From about 18mths she started holding onto poo and sometimes went a full week without pooing. She potty-trained at 3.3 and initially the poo-thing got better, maybe because she was in charge. But then it went downhill dramatically. She only drinks water anyway and doesn't have too much sugar, she eats enough fruit so it wasn't a dietary thing. She never did hard poo's either (v. weird). We saw the GP. She could take laxatives and still hold a poo in for a week or more. And she began to lose bowel control so we'd have poo accidents when at friends houses etc. Which embarrassed her no end. This went on and on until she was over 4yo. Saw GP again and was given suppositories - these caused much screaming and were deeply unpleasant. Her behaviour was very affected by this and when a poo was due she would be unbearable. I was losing the plot over it too.

We tried books, bribes, sticker charts without much success. The GP drew her a chart and she made a bit more effort with that one. The following week she was rushed to hospital with suspected septic arthritis (not related to poo!). She was in hospital for a week and couldn't walk for 3 weeks - we had to do everything for her again. As soon as she was walking again, she started pooing normally. And it's continued since then (6 months at least).

Looking back, I think she was beginning to grow out of it before she went into hospital but the sudden brief loss of her independence gave her a spur to grow up a bit.

So if you've tried every suggestion and nothing has worked, just try and stay as calm as you can because eventually they'll sort it out for themselves.

God, we humans are funny arn't we. These stories remind me of Sh*tbreak in American Pie. He was cool though, so perhaps being a little anally retentive is kind of cool!

hi my daughter had been potty trained almost a year fine. then in sep started holding her poo in, would go a week without going so was given lactulose and started sticker chart and treat box which worked wonders, for every poo she done she would put a sticker on a chart and choose a treat out of her box, only cheap £ shop rubbish but it worked!! but the last 3 weeks its started again holding in for 8 days!! treats etc not working so doc given us senokot which we give her at night and put a nappy on and it works in a few hours but i dont want to have to do this long term!!! help i dont know what else to do!!

You have to be careful in case the poo gets impacted (it will seem like the child is leaking watery poo)

but really the witholding tactic has made them badly constipated

--that's also why CD's suggestion of a paediatrician is worth keeping in mind.

You have my sympathy, this can be an absolute bugger.