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The Nanny Diaries

14 replies

Zoe · 28/03/2002 15:35

I picked this book up in Asda yesterday, and I have just finished it (went to bed at 7.30pm last night as I can feel a cold coming on!)

It is a very good and very disturbing book - it is about a nanny working for a Park Avenue family in Manhattan -completely compelling and utterly dreadful behaviour by the child's parents that caused me to gasp in amazement that people could be so cruel. It was so sad, I wanted to rescue the little boy by the end of the book and it made me even more determined to give my little one love and time all the time I can!

The rumour is that it is based on some of the families that the author has worked for although they deny this... I'm truly glad she didn't work for me!

Anyone else read this? What do you think of it?

OP posts:
Marina · 28/03/2002 16:31

It made me feel like the best mum EVER, to be honest, and I'd recommend it from that point of view. When you've struggled through a day with your toddler, miserably aware you have not been getting along, and then you read how Grayer's parents treat him, you feel you're not doing such a bad job after all. And then you feel deeply sad and distressed at the book's ending, and about the fact there is probably a lot of truth in its observations.

WideWebWitch · 28/03/2002 17:52

Oh I loved it too, it made me feel very smug as a mother since I'm a million miles away from Mrs X. Felt sorry for Grayer too, impossible not to really.

I'd bet anything that Mrs X's behaviour is not untypical of a certain type of New York woman.

Since the authors were nannies in NY for years I bet there are families out there wincing, because it must be based on various people they worked for, disguised to avoid libel. I think that's part of the deliciousness of the book, that you know parts of it must be true. I thought it was a great read.

On a related topic, just read Junior magazine and it seems (IMHO) to be aimed at the Mrs X's of the world...

thumper · 28/03/2002 18:02

Sorry to hijack this thread, (although I have been thinking about buying the Nanny Diaries and definitely will now!) but can anyone help a very stupid woman out and tell me how I create a new conversation. In the getting started instructions, it says click on new conversation button, but WHERE IS IT? or am I being stupid AND blind? Sorry again, and thanks.

WideWebWitch · 28/03/2002 18:05

Thumper, go to a topic and then all the way to the bottom of the list of conversations within that topic: the button's at the bottom. Don't know if that's clear but guess I'll know by whether you create a conversation or not!!

thumper · 28/03/2002 18:13

Great! Thanks WWW. Now I will go away and compose!

2under2 · 31/03/2002 16:55

ohh yes I LOVED it too. :-) House is a tip and my clothes have puke on them, but this book made me feel so virtous - like a pat on the back for being the opposite of Mrs X. I read an interview with the authors in the Independent some time ago - they said that everything in there is something that happened in reality to them or their nanny friends, even the earmuffs story. Several people have tried to sue them but with no success. wickedwaterwitch, I have to agree - it also made me see Junior magazine in a different light, especially the brief interviews with working mothers, some of whom say that they and their dhs only see the kids at the weekend.

sis · 31/03/2002 20:14

I read the book about a week ago and found it really sad. one of those books that keep you thinking about how the characters got on after the book finished and the inevitability of Grayer realising his parents see him as a trophy rather than a child and its effects on him makes me even sadder (yes, i know it is fiction, but I too am sure that the characters are based on real people).

pena · 08/04/2002 06:23

Just finished the book this weekend & you're right - on one hand it was hilarious & entertaining, but on other - also disturbing.

Having lived in NYC years ago - I can totally believe that this is true to life & the authors don't even have to exaggerate. NYC attracts a lot of stressed out, hyper competitive type A's who project their competitiveness & status climbing onto their kids. My s-i-l tells me of lots of stressed out & constantly tired kids in her daughter's class who are just "over-after school".

While in NY, I bumped into a lot of families in Central Park & in museums, often with over-indulged "brats" & over-the-top parents. Classic story a friend told me of an ex-investment banker/older mum in her mum's group who talks to her 4 yr old ds as if she's 34 - with the result that ds is very self-centred & takes advantage of everything & everyone. She obviously takes the mickey out of her mother's overly accomodating approach. You get the kind of kid that you deserve.

Croppy · 08/04/2002 12:53

I took the whole thing with a BIG pinch of salt. A 4 year old eating steamed Kale and Kohlrabi for dinner every night??. If she was so uninterested in her boy's welfare, why did she breastfeed him?. Likewise why did she have such a mammoth library of parenting books?. I work with many wealthy New Yorkers and I concede that there are elements of truth in the decriptions, especially the competitiveness. But overall, I thought it was grossly exaggerated. Wealthy women are an easy target and I don't agree with the assumption that just because you have money you probably don't care for your child.
Maybe everything in the book did happen to them but they worked for more than 30 families. I bet all those things didn't happen within one family like the book said.

berries · 08/04/2002 13:52

My 4 yr old loves steamed kale & will eat it every day when in season.

JoAnne427 · 08/04/2002 15:46

Saw the authors on a talk show the other morning - very insistent that this was not representative of the families they worked for - and the families have contacted them saying how thrilled they are at the book's success...

While I agree it is probably an accumulation of incidents with various families, I'm not so sure I believe that their former employers were "thrilled" at the book's release, and ensuing success! I wonder if they were covering themselves from potential lawsuits???

Gracie · 08/04/2002 21:18

One thing that puzzled me was that the implication was that Mrs X never spent any time on her own with her child and yet "Nanny" didn't start work until she picked him up from school. Who got him up and breakfeasted and delivered to school?

pena · 09/04/2002 04:41

They have a live in maid.

Plus I thought that the whole breastfeeding & having a book shelf full of children's books were a satirical joke in itself to underline how Mrs. X like many hyper competitive parents - do all the supposed "right" things to give their kids the "edge" but she might as well be breeding champion show dogs than real people.

emsiewill · 14/04/2002 16:06

I've just read this on the recommendations from this site. I did find it very sad that someone could treat their own child like that (if it is true....), but I also got v. annoyed with Nanny for not standing up for herself at all. Yeas, sometimes it was because she was concerned about Grayer, but most of the time she just came over as a real doormat.
Did enjoy the book, though, and as others have said, has made me feel that I'm not actually the worst mother in the world

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