Something happened a long time ago and now my friend wants to drag it all up and make a complaint to the police, would you be supportive?

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

When we were both 15 we got ourselves into some unsavioury situations with a group of older men. This would involve them giving us drinks, watching seriously dodgy porn and having sex. Sometimes things got out of hand and it went to far, which ended up with her or me saying no and not being listened to. But we always went back, because we felt grown up and liked that we were allowed to drink and smoke. In hindsight it is obvious now that we were given drinks maybe with something in them (I only ever had one drink as I dont like the taste but wanted to look good) because the memories are all very blurry and to be honest I dont want them to come back.

I started dating one of the men and after that was pretty much his so left alone by the others. I get the feeling she wasnt so lucky and its messed her head up.

I distinctly remember 2 occassions where I didnt consent, one in a car and one at someones flat - I never saw them again after that night, was a step to far.

She wants to make a complaint - this was 8 years ago as she says that she cant bare the thought of them doing it to anyone else. I dont think its worth it, and think its pointless. But if she makes a statement I will be mentioned and obligated to tell the truth which opens a whole can of worms and brings up things id rather forget.

I could tell her that I want no part of it but that would make me a crappy friend wouldnt it?

don't know what to suggest. In the light of the way rape cases are dealt with in this country I would say she wouldn't have much of a chance anyway but I understand she wants to deal with it and this is the way she feels she can.

Its quite difficult that to answer.Im not sure what the police could do 8 years down the line but maybe it would resolve some issues for your friend and nobody has the right to have sex with you if you say no.

I havent seen or talked to her in years, shes specifically got back in touch with me because of this so it must have been playing on her mind.

I know from experience how hard the system is, the statements, the court room, things like that and I dont want to have to go through that again - which makes me feel very selfish as I am the only person who can co-obberate (sp?) her story.

And I honestly can not remember alot of it, I dont know how much use I could be!

That is your right it doesnt make you selfish not wanting to drag up the past. She will have to go it alone if she wants to make a complaint and see what happens

I think you need to do what you want to do in this case, however I would still support the friend in reporting the offence. It may be something that has been haunting her for years and something she needs to get over before she can get on with her life. Even if the police are unable to do anything criminally they will be able to offer what sounds like much needed councilling (or put her in touch with someone for this).