Back to work misery - please cheer me up!

[hockeymum]

Going back to b&*y Morrisons tomorrow night after 6 months maternity leave and am so miserable about it all I want to do is cry.

I've dropped from 16 hours to 8 so my money is halving too and I'll be broke and have to eat crappy food.

Have to be out of the house from 4.30 to 9.30pm on mon and tues. DH comes in and passes the car keys to me and I go straight out. Am too tired to talk to him when I come in as DS still waking in the night. Also, there is so much to do at tea time in this house, DS on solids and bottle, bath, DDs lunchboxes, sterlisiing and making all the bottles etc. Don't think DH will think to do all these things so I'll feel like I'm nagging him when I ask and that will make me even more sad as he's pretty useful around the place really.

Clearly I'm having a pity party today. Please make me smile (although martianbishop, greensleeves and unquietdad are doing a great job of that on the other thread!)

Sounds overwhelming... the teatime thing... but you'll get into it and be super-organised before you know it. Once you're back you'll hopefully wonder why you were stressed but you are entitled to be miserable - I hated going back to work. Chin up and all that!

Thanks kBear - thought I'd have to add an unanswered thread to my pity party and really break open the dairy milk! I'm sure it will probably be fine, just not what I really wanted for my life, but its the only job I can find to fit around my husbands working hours and still have the weekends free for my family. I used to be a legal exec but unfortunately criminals still got arrested on evening and weekends so decided not to do that after having dd. Sitting on the tills at Morrisons doesnt quite have the same cache.

Aw hockeymum
I'm sorry you are feeling so low about this, I hated returning too (longer hours but able to keep my former job which I do at least enjoy doing).
You say you were a legal exec - just wondered if you could maybe do what at least three mums of my acquaintance do, and that is twilight hours legal secretarial/document prep. I should think the conditions are better and the money has to be...

marina - that is a good idea and one I will look into again. I did look into this when I first went back to work 3 years ago and it was only available 5 nights a week, which meant I wouldn't be there any evening for dd, it's a bit much to ask dh to look after dd and ds 5 evenings while studying for his masters and working full time - unfortunately as the pay is much much better.

I am 99% sure that one of my acquaintances (have lost touch with her now that we moved house) was doing this kind of work only 2 nights a week. She found it hard to go back too, but the pay did make it worthwhile, and she found she could cope with it only being two nights.
This was in the City of London btw.

Are you in London hockeymum? Lots of law firms want evening staff - the big firms will usually consider part-time or job-shares.

I'm in Cardiff, not London, but I'll certainly look into it. I plan to do an MSc when ds starts school in a couple of years so it would probably pay to stretch my brain a little more than it gets stretched at Morrisons until then.

Thanks for thinking for me, you know when you have done something for ages you just lose a little faith in yourself and can't see beyond your own situation.

Yes, night shift lawyers at London law firms, all kinds of possibilities.
On the evening (so much to organise for each next day, isn't there) what about just typing a list of the 10 things your husband needs to have ready and he can tick them off during the evening? Hope the sleepness nights pass - they're the real problem and make everything else harder.

Thanks for the advice. I'll make DH a list of things to do. I think part of my problem is letting go. I don't trust DH to make sure baby has a proper feed before bed, or that he finishes his solids because he's scatty and just gives up. I think he's useless at multi tasking and just forgets to do stuff for the baby the way I would do them. He's fine with DD (4) as she has a big voice and makes herself heard! Also, I'm sad because I think that ds might want me and will only have DH.

Still DD put me in my place about it all this morning. I was really cross this morning and bickering with her and she said "I dont think you're cross about me mummy, why are you cross?" so I said its because I have to go back to work tonight and I don't want to, she said "Oh Mummy, Don't worry, Just give it a chance" I gave her a big hug and said "How did you learn to be so wise?" and she said "The Fairy Godmother in Cinderella 2 taught me that you just have to give it a chance. Bless Her!