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Advice on how to deter rapists

79 replies

Janstar · 02/04/2004 19:05

A friend just emailed me with this:

Metropolitan Police Issued
This Newsletter October 2003 MUST BE READ

Through a Rapist?s Eyes

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1 The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail or other hairstyle that can be easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Woman with short hair are not common targets.
2 The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for woman whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3 They also look for women on their mobile phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking, because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4 The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 05.00 and 08.30 am.
5 The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman quickly mover her to a second location where they don?t have to worry about getting caught.
6 Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3 ? 5 year sentence, but rape with a weapon is 15 ? 20 years.
7 If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realise that going after you isn?t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
8 These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you?re not worth it.
9 Several defence mechanisms he taught us are: if someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in a lift or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like ?what time is it?? or make general small talk, ?I can?t believe it is so cold out here, we?re in for a bad winter?. Now you?ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.
10 If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell ?stop? or ?STAY BACK?. Most of the rapists talked to said they?d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW!
IT?S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE LIVES.

OP posts:
TheCODERATOR · 02/04/2004 19:42

happy ending wohtout recriminations? Hooray!

Janstar · 02/04/2004 19:42

Posts crossed. I didn't know I was being accused of being snide when I apologised.

I don't think my tone was at all snide.

OP posts:
TheCODERATOR · 02/04/2004 19:42

please be friends

bossykate · 02/04/2004 19:45

janstar

i appreciate you were motivated by the best of intentions in starting this thread.

hope we are friends again

Janstar · 02/04/2004 19:45

Mummy says we have to make up.

OP posts:
TheCODERATOR · 02/04/2004 19:46

Hooray

dont want mn to get any more playgound ish!

bossykate · 02/04/2004 19:46

i guess we'd better sulkily shake hands while she is watching then, and stick tongues out at eachother the minute her back is turned...

Janstar · 02/04/2004 19:47

can't we link little fingers and say 'make up make up never never break up'...?

OP posts:
bossykate · 02/04/2004 19:48

ok that sounds much better!

Janstar · 02/04/2004 19:52

I am extremely thin skinned you know.

OP posts:
kiwisbird · 02/04/2004 19:53

PS revenge entailed some ex gang member who I happened to know as my ponies grazed on his land found out as he saw me afterwards and drove me to the hospital
By time I was leaving the guy concerned was in resus
It wasn't me but someone* found him tied him to a landrover and drove him round the racecourse raod a few times...
Not my succinct style but oddly rewarding considering I'm a pacifist. And coupled with that I severed a piece of his ear too...
If his wifes reading she'll know now too Lucky her!
Sorry uncalled for details maybe but am wine free and its bugging me!

bossykate · 02/04/2004 19:53

haha i have a hide like an elephant - not

bossykate · 02/04/2004 19:55

kiwisbird - serious question, don't answer if you don't want... did the revenge make you feel better?

Janstar · 02/04/2004 20:00

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy! I have no sympathy for these people.

All the better that someone else did it for you. Makes you feel loved in a strange way.

I've had a similar experience, (not anything as bad as rape) where other people got revenge for me. And I was very touched and uplifted. Sounds mean?

OP posts:
kiwisbird · 02/04/2004 20:07

me feel better - not really as I didn't plan it and map it out, it was just a freak happening the type of person who found out was a gang member and thats what you did to settle scores... He wasn;t even my mate just some guy I paid to graze my horse off his land...
I did always feel that I had got justice and that he wasn't likely to do it again .... more so than I found in later years when another nutter stalker type took a shine to me and it ended up in court with him walking away with sodding bindover?
And no I do not think I have come get me on my forehead either...
Sorry... am telling far too much persoanl stuff now

Janstar · 02/04/2004 20:11

Kiwi, that is the whole point of mumsnet - so that you can get this stuff off your chest without it complicating your personal life.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 02/04/2004 20:12

Whether it's genuine or not there maybe are some nuggets of truth/good advice in it. But I'm uneasy with points 1 & 2 sounding like a bit of a contributory negligence argument. Sorry kiwisbird and Jennh for what's happened to you.

kiwisbird · 02/04/2004 20:17

ahh yes Jan I know but To be honest I don't unload like this IRL so to do it on here makes me feel uneasy and deceitful? Does that make sense?

Janstar · 02/04/2004 20:18

Yes. I guess the best thing to do is whatever feels right to you. But I don't think anyone here would be upset by you unburdening yourself.

OP posts:
kiwisbird · 02/04/2004 20:31

that is really nice to know thank you

aloha · 02/04/2004 20:35

Some of this correlates very strongly with advice I have had from experts in the field including police and security experts - I have written several articles in a similar vein in my time. Do not walk down the street on your mobile - it is dangerous because you are clearly distracted. The single most important thing is to trust your instincts, I think. If you are in the least bit uneasy with a situation, get out of it, fast. Do not worry about offending others. If they are OK they will understand. So if someone offers to carry your shopping to the car/your door, and you feel even vaguely unsure, say no. If you suspect you are being followed, go into a shop, station or test them by crossing the road and going back the way you came. If they do the same, get with other people fast. If someone makes a move on you, get into as public a place as you can - ie move from a bush-lined path into the middle of the road where there is more lighting and you are more visible and yes, do the STOP thing with your hand out. Shout and draw attention to yourself. Rape is NEVER a woman's fault, but a few times in my life I"ve been followed and even had someone try to attack me and I've followed my own advice and it's been OK, thankfully. I wrote a feature about trusting your instincts and I remember a letter I got from a woman who was raped on her way home and she says that she recalled a movement in the bushes and it made her uneasy - but she told herself 'don't be stupid' and carried on, telling herself it was probably the wind, but of course it wasn't. She overrode her instincts thinking they were a sign of weakness but she says now she would never do this.

Janstar · 02/04/2004 20:46

Thanks aloha. You never know which little bit of advice might help just one person one time...

OP posts:
bloss · 03/04/2004 13:22

Message withdrawn

eddm · 03/04/2004 13:43

It is a hoax. The Met do not issue advice via email. It's just a chain letter 'forward to everyone you know'. What are we supposed to do, cut our hair off? Some of the points may be valid but hard to tell which because others are clearly rubbish. Rapists ? and other criminals ? aren't generally rational to the extent of tailoring their crimes to current sentencing policy (point 6) for instance.
But started a useful debate.

essbee · 03/04/2004 13:50

Message withdrawn

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