It was gradual with me. I knew our relationship wasn't 'normal' It started off that he seemed really caring, but then it got more and more.
In the end I was allowed a 5 minute phone call to my mum once a week under his supervision, he had a lock put on the phone so I couldn't use it any other time.
I could only go out to work and if I was late back her went mental.
I was allowed 25 minutes to do the weeks shopping on a saturday and would have to feed us both on £15.00.
The final straw came when he came it at 3.00am one morning drunk, demanded sex and moaned because I did not want to drive him to mcdonalds. I stood up to him and took the worst beating of my life. He dragged me round the flat by my neck, hit and punched me so much he embedded the nose piece of my glasses in the side of my face.
Because he was drunk he had forgotten to lock the door. I ran for my life. The police came and the last I saw he was being taken away in a police car as he assaulted an officer.
He got convicted of assault, luckily he pleaded guilty and I didn't have to go to court. Got a suspended sentence though as it was his first offence.
People had told me for ages that he treated me badly, but believe me, when it is happening to you a lot of the time you are blind to it. He had worn me down so much with the constant put downs 'Your fat, your ugly, no other man will want you' 'no point in leaving, you wouldn't have a clue' 'you are useless and stupid' etc. I began to believe him.
Even now I have issues because of him. My DP is lovely, and I love him with all my heart. He knows my past so he knows that my constant need for reassurance is nothing to do with him. I also always have my house keys in my pocket. Even though I live with DD and mum and dad I will NEVER let myself be a prisoner like that again.
I always thought that if a man ever raised a hand to me I would be gone, but when you are in the situation, you live a combination of fear that he will hit you again and hope that he doesnt.
Its hard to leave when you have no shred of self worth, self esteem or even pride.
Sorry to ramble on