If you have bad feelings about childrens friends do you stop them playing with them?

9 replies

Bananaknickers · 15/09/2006 15:58

I feel torn. We moved to the area last year and my children attend a school 3 miles away so they have no school friends aroud here.
Last night my 8 year old brought in his first new friend and he seemed a bit forward i.y.k.w.i.m. He wanted my ds to go to the shops with him to get some jawbreakers with him.They are both 8. Anyway I just have this feeling that he is bad news.
When we got home tonight the friend was already home and out on his bike.My son then proceded to tell me " of course he is out already he got expelled from school for swearing at the teachers". I just don't know about this what would you do? I have only just started to let them play out

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admylin · 15/09/2006 16:22

If I think the friend is bad influence or not a genuine freind then I discreetly say they could play with someone else or I praise how nice so and so is and try to influence them to play more with them. It is really difficult to control what they do at school so I just hope I've taught them enough common sense and they make the right choice themselves.
When I was 11 I had a best friend from a bit of an altervative family and my parents didn't like her but the more they complained about her, the more I wanted to be friends with her!

southeastastra · 15/09/2006 16:25

maybe your son could be a good influence on him!

FioFio · 15/09/2006 16:27

This reply has been deleted

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jamieboo · 15/09/2006 16:30

this is quite difficult really as its hard to say who you can and cant be friends with. neice is friends with someone who my sil absolutely loathes and thought was bad news.. however my neice being friends with her has kept her out of trouble.
this is much older though. maybe you should let them play every now and again and maybe let him know that this boys behaviour is unacceptable.. and if he ever acts like that or gets in a situation because of this boy you wont let him see him?
personally i would explain this to my ds, but obviously that is your choice.

mosschops30 · 15/09/2006 16:49

I dont discourage them playing together, but i dont hide my feelings either. dd is friends with a horrible girl across the road and I refuse to have her in my house, so they either play outside or over the other girls house.

Original poster

Bananaknickers · 15/09/2006 16:51

bless my ds he has just said to me that swearing at a teacher is wrong mum.He even said that if he ever done anything like that he knows we would care and that he knows he wouldn't be allowed out on his bike and he would be expecting that.He is a wise little man so i have let him out to play tonight and we will see how it goes

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Original poster

Bananaknickers · 15/09/2006 16:52

I want him to grow up and make the right choices and I think he will

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ScummyMummy · 15/09/2006 16:57

Sounds like it, bananaknickers if already has such a good handle on why he shouldn't swear at school. I do agree with fio that they have to make their own choice re friends but it's great that he's so emotionally mature.

MarsLady · 15/09/2006 17:02

Do you know that expression 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'? Well that's how I operate (I worked out that that was how my mother always operated).

I keep my home open for their friends and the ones that especially worry me come here! That way I can see what goes on with them.

What I find is that my children work out that I'm not completely happy about 'Tarquin' or 'Jocasta' and slowly T & J are nudged gently out. I never tell them that I don't like them, I don't want to cause them to run into their arms. Anyway, I find that Tarquin and Jocasta behave better in my house because I have and continue to set boundaries.

Flip