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Original poster

kissing - will it ever be the same again?

25 replies

missthatkiss · 15/09/2006 08:25

I'm a very regular poster on here but had to change my name for this so not a troll!

My first ever proper full on kiss was the most amazing thing ever. I totally went weak at the knees and we kissed for hours and hours. It reached parts of me nothing has since!

Then I met my dh, kissing was a bit rubbish really but totally fell in love with him and have been together many many years. I did have one slip last year and kissed a guy I vaguelly knew and it was rubbish, really useless. I guess I was searching for it to be like that first great experience and it wasn't. I hate kissing my dh too and avoid it at all costs.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is:
are there such a thing as great kissers? or is it simply a compatability thing?

and does anyone really enjoy long snogs with their dhs or long term dps that don't lead to sex?

bit of an odd question for a friday morning really, but has been on my mind for a while.

OP posts:
anorak · 15/09/2006 08:31

My DH is a fabulous kisser and that is how he charmed me in the first place. We've been married seven years and we are in our forties, so I try to bat him off when he starts up in public (worried it's going to look gross) but sometimes he catches me when we've had a few in the pub and my resistance is low and he starts kissing me and oh, my knees still go weak!

lilymolly · 15/09/2006 08:31

terrified of kissing dp in case it leads to sex (can of worms........) but yeah do miss that spine tingling sensation you had as a teenager!! BUT would not swap dp for the world and enjoy tenderness and closeness and companionship just as much! Think its called life!! we all grow older and closer but maybe loose the "chemistry"??

april74 · 15/09/2006 08:38

We still kiss, although it always does lead to sex, but I think thats more to do with both of us. We been married 7 years.

lolliepops · 15/09/2006 08:41

if i ever kiss dp he thinks hes in with a chance!

CarolinaMoon · 15/09/2006 08:41

I don't think I could be with dp if I didn't like kissing him

Otoh I do find myself holding back sometimes because I can't be arsed having sex that night - I don't think we can 'just snog' really, which is a shame.

CarolinaMoon · 15/09/2006 08:44

Hmmm, there's a theme emerging here isn't there?

Missthatkiss, I think some people just are better than others, either through luck or practice. Is there anything particular about your dh's technique that you don't like?

FioFio · 15/09/2006 08:47

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FioFio · 15/09/2006 08:48

This reply has been deleted

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SSSandy · 15/09/2006 08:55

Like most things it's a skill that you can learn but not everyone puts much thought into it.

Original poster
missthatkiss · 15/09/2006 09:49

CarolinaMoon - no nothing in particular that puts me off, I guess its because it always leads to sex and I dont tend to always want it at the time he is so I avoid kissing him unless I want it to lead to sex. Maybe its the familiarity of it I dont like I'm not sure.

Absolutely adore dh and would hate to imagine if I had ended up with someone else, but my mind keeps wandering back to that night when I was a teenager. Obviously I'm having my mid life crisis a little early ;-)

OP posts:
anorak · 15/09/2006 09:53

You could always make a point of snogging him when there's no chance of sex just to get him used to it

lilymolly · 15/09/2006 10:17

yeah, when I have really snogged him and I know there is no chance of sex, i have really enjoyed it, but can not seem to let myself go with the moment, iyswim?? But hey thats why we are going to relate!
I do think that when a man gets a good snog- he automatically thinks it will lead to sex though, and thats what holds people back.

Jazzi · 15/09/2006 10:36

Imo there are good kissers and bad. My dp isn't great, but sex is good, when we ever get round to it! But I don't bother just kissing him because he is rubbish. I have kissed guys before and almost passed out with the intensity and passion, but sex often was a let down!!! I would love to just kiss for hours, but haven't got the time or the inclination with dp.

Murphee · 15/09/2006 10:57

Woke up this morning dreaming that I was enjoying lingering french kisses with the new Dr. Who (David?) Tennant. Highlight of my week so far and I didn't even realise I fancied him before.

hockeymum · 15/09/2006 11:02

lol murphee - I often have dreams that I'm kissing people from work that I hadn't previously fancied but the dream totally changes my view of them irl. Makes you wonder whether anyone has dreams about you though doesn't it?!

Murphee · 15/09/2006 11:14

Hockey, I the thought had never occurred to me but I vainly LOVE that idea!

CarolinaMoon · 15/09/2006 12:07

yeah, but it would inevitably be the fat, sweaty balding ones not the fit blokes wouldn't it?

I agree, snogging when there's no chance of even a quickie is the way to go.

Not sure if you'd ever get that teenage feeling back tbh - it's all to do with the novelty of it isn't it? You'd have to be snogging someone you really shouldn't be I suppose .

mears · 15/09/2006 12:14

I love kissing my DH but there was time a few years ago when I avoided it because it usually ended up in sex (or not which caused friction).

The way round it for us is that I made it clear that I wanted to be kissed but not have sex. A kissing session is lovely and it took us back to our youth.

Interestingly though, since we got the sex thing out the way, a kissing session can end up in sex which I am happy about. It isn't just an automatic progression which I think is what has made it better.

So is the kissing the problem really? Or is it what it leads to?

Quootiepie · 15/09/2006 12:14

I remember my first proper kiss - went on for about half an hour or so! DH wasnt the same... we just peck really! Sometimes we snog, but im more paranoid about sure my teeth are freshly brushed etc. When we do, it makes me feel 15 again!

iPodthereforiPoor · 15/09/2006 12:16

There are indeed good and bad kissers. I justwant to find anyone to kiss at the moment!!

Worst Kiss I ever had left me with massive bruising on my top and bottom lip which was impossible to hide and embarrasing to explain - teach me to snog random men in dodgy southampton nightclubs!

Original poster
missthatkiss · 15/09/2006 12:43

I guess that is what it is really isn't it Carolina. I guess it is the thrill of doing something new and different and being totally wanted by that other person.

I have a wonderful dh and the sex is good (when I can be bothered with 2 young children!) and Dh often says he finds me attractive (only when he wants some though!) but it is more attractive to be wanted by someone else I suppose.

No wonder men can't work us out. I have a lovely dh, wonderful children but still feel myself drawn to the womanising married man from work who tells me I'm attractive and tries it on with me. My head knows that I have much better at home but there is something about being wanted by someone else (never happened when I was single)

Pull yourself together woman!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 12:49

I know how you feel, miss!

CarolinaMoon · 15/09/2006 12:52

oooooh stay well away from him, missthatkiss

ginmummy · 15/09/2006 12:59

Kissing is like riding a bike in that it takes a while to get the hang of it properly but once you do get the hang of it you never forget. You might be a bit wobbly if you've not done it for a while but you'll soon remember what it was you enjoyed about it all that time ago!

snowleopard · 15/09/2006 13:17

Very interesting topic missthatkiss. I was very like you in falling head over heels for my DP, but not being very into the kissing (and like you I have had some fab kissers in my time). Even more weirdly, my DP doesn't like kissing unless esx is involved (he associated them very closely and says it feels too weird if you're out - or even dressed!) And he was soo - well - hesitant and not rough enough (sorry if TMI!) But after a bit of a hiatus in our reationship a few years ago, when he was depressed, we got back together with a vengeance and this time I decided to "direct" him a bit more and I actually asked for particularr kissing styles to be tried (being careful not to criticise). he really took to it and is now a great kisser, though still only in bed really. So it is possible to learn and you could have great kissing experiences again - you just need to find the way to broach it without offending him.

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