Help me compose a wonderful e mail to my $£%^!! of an ex

[lilibet]

The situation is this. He has our boys every other weekend, we do not speak, he picks them up, drops them up and there is no other contact between us apart from the odd e mail which I send to him about school stuff and to which he rarely replies.

The boys came back from his on Sunday with the news that next Sunday he is going on holiday to Portugal and won't be back to have them next time it's 'his' weeeknd.

I am incredibly pissed off with this. By coincidence we don't happen to have anything on that weeknd, but that really isn't the point. If he had done it on almost every other weekend between now and Christmas we have plans.

My first thought was to write an e mail saying that we were away that weekend and asking what plans he had made for alternative care for them and that if I hadn't heard anythign from him by the Saturday morning when he was due to collect them I would just take them to his mothers. The problem with this is that he will be thrilled to know that he is buggering my pland up and I really wouldn't take them to his mothers as she is well into her 80's and is a total bitch who shouldn't have children within 50 yards of her.

Any good ideas? Can't come back on till lunch when my computer isn't overlooked again!!

Could he have them on one of "your" weekends instead? So you send an email along the lines of "boys tell me you're going away next weekend - I'll put you down for x weekend as a swap" and leave it at that. Life's too short...

i wouldn't rise. he's obviously not bothering to tell you, but getting your ds to say something to annoy the hell out of you. i'd just write the email as fn says, pick a weekend that's convenient for you and say you're swapping. no sarcasm, no anger, short and to the point.

Write one saying exactly what you think of him and everything you want to say. Get it off your chest. Then delete it and send:

"I understand from the boys that you aren't able to have them for your next weekend as you will be in Portugal. I would really appreciate it if in future you could give me some notice when you won't be able to have them. As it happens this time I haven't made any plans, so can have them, but if I had been doing something we would have been in trouble as one of us would have had to change our plans."

And I might add something about communicating with you direct and not through the boys.

I agree with everyone else- I'd just send him one saying "understand you can't have the boys on x weekend because you're on holiday, so are you having them the following weekend instead?" - and make it a date(s) to suit you

Message withdrawn

Life is too short, email him to rearrange the weekend dates and leave it at that.

I suffer from this problem frequently with my ex-H. Big sympathy to you lilibet, it drives me insane.
I would give him an alternative date for a weekend with his boys & leave it at that. I have risen to the bait on so many occasions & it isn't worth it.

Look at it that you get an extra 48 hours with your kids . His loss not yours .