HELP- Can't get ds to school,am at the end of my tether

[tiptoes]

Long story,have a thread in SN at the moment re school issues.DS has selective mutism and does not talk in school.Although had started to talk within his old peer group.

DS started back to school last Tuesday after a year in reception and has stayed back in reception//year 1 with a new intake of reception children.Have had tears and the teachers had to pull him off me last week and it not making his anxiety issues any easier.i could'nt get him to school last Thursday and now today I am trying to get him dressed and he is undressing himself just as fast.I have a dd who is 3 and should be in oreschool this morning but can't take her because ds won't get ready.

At the end of my tether now and don't know what to do.I dread having to go through this everyday and rang DH and he just said get him there even if you have to drag him.But it's not as simple as that.I am trying to sit down with him and explain he has to go to school but he just seems so anxious about it and keeps running offf upstairs

DS is not very forthcoming when i ask him about school in general and gets very defensive.

I think that is typical of a lot of kids of that age - mine included - they clam up when you ask them things.

I was just trying to stress that it will help if he feels like he has some control of the situation - some input into its solution - so maybe you can have a talk with him before you see the head. Write a list of all the possible solutions - your ideaas and his - write them all down - and then go through each one and consider if it is possible - even the silly ones. Something about writing it down is supposed to help.

Then you can agree with him what you will talk to the head about.

The following link might help you to make an informed choice about whether home-educating is for you and your child ...or not.
FAQ about HE
Something needs to be done. It is not fair to your son or you to put you through this. It doesn't seem quite right that the school won't put your son into y1 with the friends he has settled with, because they are over their numbers?? Surely he should have been the last child they would have considered leaving behind due to the problems that it would cause him and after him just about settling with that group.
Very best wishes that it's all resolved for you soon.

I just wanted to offer my encouragement on the home-educating front.

I have 4 kids and my youngest is also sn and does not talk at all when outside of the house.
For various reasons I am home -edding all of them now for the last 2 years and just LOVE it.
I know it isnt for everyone but I believe passionatly that anyobe who wants to do it really can There is so much help and support out there from Education otherwise to heas group and it really IS a valid alternative to those children who just are not suitable for school - and there are many who arent.

Children are individuals and though school works for some, and many feel they have to go there are some children who will just suffer and never flourish there for various reasons. Im not anti-school at all just having seen a different way, pro home-educating.

If you feel you would like any advice on it or anyone else who may be interested, im happy to answer any questions. Im not a teacher or a weirdy beardy just a normal Mum who loves her kids

Message withdrawn

Thanks so much everyone for your concerns and advice.

am busy preparing for this afternoons meeting so will update you later.

thanks again,it means a lot x

Update-went to meeting and they have offered DS a year 1 place as another little boy has moved area.

Will be updating more later on special needs section under my other thread.

Would like to say thanks to all the mumsnetters who have supported me and offered great advice.

Hi tiptoes,
I am glad it went well today, my dd is 5 and has started in year 1 so she is a similar age to your ds

I'm so glad that your meeting went well.Hope your DS is happier now.

Thanks so much.He is a different little boy and continues to be happy with going to school.

Hope he is ok on Monday morning,I am sure he will be.

Posted on your other thread thinking it was this one!!

Olihan-thanks for your advice,have replyed on other thread.