Cant win either way?

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

I posted before about my nephews christening (whether I should let the kids go with exH or not) and you lot told me to be the better person etc so they are going.....

Anyhow

Was talking to H last night and after origionally saying I wasnt invited he is now saying he doesnt know because they havent offically invited anyone and may just assume that he will have told me. They also havent said im not invited.

So

If I am invited and dont go, I will offend Mil etc and make things worse with her

If Im not invited and do go, I will offend mil and make things worse with her

Easily solution is to just call and ask, but how embarrassing is that! Cause they will either feel obligied to say 'of course you are invited' and then be put out about it or say 'no, bugger off' which I really dont want to hear!

(I know its Hs family but me and him are on very good terms and still see ourselves as a family iyswim. Still get on with all his family cept mil really although she was civil to me on the phone the other night almost bordering on nice!! Nearly fell off my chair! Its the first time she hasnt either put the phone down on my or been rude since me and H split!)

Can exH ask Mil (make it seem like its off his own back) and let you know that way?

I'd get H to mention it, see if he can find out if you're expected or not.

If you are on good terms with H can you not get him to ask them?

Would be the simple solution but H is a big wuss with no backbone and would rather stick his head in the sand and let me do everything about anything.

Im quite happy not to go, I have alternative plans for Sunday anyway but dont want to make things worse for myself but unitentionally being rude to his family! Also I want some cake

Maybe is should just send apoligies for not going, so even if i wasnt invited they can just breathe a sigh of relief and If i was invited then ive not been rude?

I do think deep down that I want to have been invited, I actually miss my extended family!

I was going to suggest a quick phone call to apologise for not being able to attend, then you're clear either way.

Mention that you would like some cake while you are on the phone

Hmmmm they will probably lace it with something safer all round if I just steal the boys when they get home!

Am about to email you!