Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

This is doing my head in. Three days into the new term, and it's the same old story

27 replies

earlgrey · 07/09/2006 08:54

I try to ease dds gently into the morning, by saying 'socks on, then two minutes'. By which time (so I thought) they'd be accustomised to the fact that they need to get their act together and get their uniform on.

For the last three days, having put dd1's socks on, she's said 'Mummy, you've washed them' and flung them off. Or, in the case of the uniform, 'Mummy, it's warm' (I only have one set of uniform for both of them and tumble dry it).

It's the anticipation of it, and the fact that it happens every blooming day. Her socks aren't too small, the uniform's not warm. What the eff can I do? Every morning (and that includes last term) is a complete turmoil. I never have that kind of stuff from dd2. Please help!

OP posts:
Original poster
earlgrey · 07/09/2006 08:55

And I could write a whole different story on the brushin of hair and absence of cleaning of teeth.

OP posts:
batters · 07/09/2006 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colditz · 07/09/2006 09:06

ignore it. Just sar "Ohn dear, that's a pity, because you have to wear them anyway"n in a bored voice then don't engage in conversation on that subject again. The first few days she will be furious, then she will accept that you really don't care.

colditz · 07/09/2006 09:10

Or refuse to take her to school until she is properly ready, and tell her teacher why she is late.

Original poster
earlgrey · 07/09/2006 09:23

It's hard to ignore it when she finally does get herself dressed, H's all ready with their bikes outside to cycle them to school, and she says 'Mummy, I'm hungry. Can I have some rice crispies now'.

Can you tell it's a head in hand moment?

OP posts:
griffintribe · 07/09/2006 09:24

Have you tried having a wall chart up with gold stars on it. Then everytime she gets dressed good she can have a star and if she has 5 by the end of the week you give her a little treat

Original poster
earlgrey · 07/09/2006 09:25

colditz, H takes them to school, and he wouldn't allow that. He has his breakfast, reads the paper, and is normally oblivious to all of this. But today I'd had enough and he intervened.

OP posts:
colditz · 07/09/2006 09:46

The answer to "Can I have some Rice Crispies now?" is "No"

She will learn to stop messing about if you make her, it just depends. She obviously knows she can wind you up because you want her to go to school on time more than she does. Make it the other way round. If it is your husband who won't tolerate this, make him deal with her.

colditz · 07/09/2006 09:48

Have a set time when she leaves the house. If she isn't dressed, she goes naked. If she isn't fed, then for that day she will be hungry until breaktime. I think it is important to teach children to get ready in time, far more important than straight A grades, in fact. Plenty of employers will take you if you are a bit dim (not saying your dd is) but nobody will employ you if you are always late

moondog · 07/09/2006 09:49

I pretend to ring the head.
Always works.

scotchick · 07/09/2006 10:11

I had a bad morning which culminated in me shouting my ds1's name at the TOP of my voice and slamming my hand against the wall. Two of my neighbours were outside and I could have cried with humiliation.

Every morning since term started (3 weeks here) it's been the same:

get your uniform on
get your uniform on
get your uniform on

get your teeth brushed
get your teeth brushed
get your teeth brushed

get your shoes on
etc etc

you get the picture. Glad I'm not alone, although I didn't really think I was! It's so tiring. And we have to run up the road to school each morning so as not to be late.

TenaLady · 07/09/2006 10:23

My ds likes a list (sounds a bit military I know) but it works for him. Ive typed a list in big letters of what he has to do in the morning and he has to tick it off as he has done them.

The same for the afternoon. Seems to work at the moment.

MORNING

Have breakfast and a drink

Get washed and brush his teeth and hair

Go upstairs and get dressed into school uniform

Make his bed and fold his pyjamas and put on his bed

Come downstairs and make sure he has his reading book ready for school.

Watch a bit of the television until ready to go to school,

AFTER SCHOOL

Upstairs to take off uniform and hang it up. If it is dirty then put it in his washing bin.

Change into some other clothes.

Downstairs and have a drink and a snack

Read his school reading book to Mummy or Daddy and any other work he has to do from school.

you can then play or watch some television

scotchick · 07/09/2006 10:27

Tenalady, sounds good to me. DS1 actually quite likes that kind of thing. I shall make my list today!

Enid · 07/09/2006 10:28

I get both mine dressed and clean their teeth for them

they are nearly 7 and nearly 4

liquidclocks · 07/09/2006 10:32

How old is DD1 earlgrey?

curlew · 07/09/2006 10:40

I think I've cured my getting ready for school problem - by (sorry!) changing my behaviour. After last half term I decided I really didn't want to have shouty mornings any more, so I started getting up half an hour earlier myself. That way, I had showered, dressed, had a cup of tea and done the packed lunches before anyone else was up. Amazingly, that had a huge -and lasting -impact on the whole morning routine. I felt more in control, I could tell people to get dressed with more conviction if I was dressed myself and I knew that I had done everything that I needed to do. The sight of me sitting fully dressed on the sofa with the newspaper saying calmly "we are leaving in 10 minutes" instead of yelling like a banshee with one sock on worked wonders. Try it - it could work for you too!

Bozza · 07/09/2006 10:44

Wouldn't work here curlew. Because that is generally the case anyway. And I refuse to dress a 5yo personally although he'd probably love it. And the 2yo attempts to refuse to be dressed so I have to negotiate/pretend she is doing it.

LIZS · 07/09/2006 10:45

Ignore dd1 when she fusses and concerntrate on having everything ready to leave on time as usual. If needs be get her stuff laid out the night before so she just has to put it on and can't fuss over it not being right next day. Offer her breakfast once and if she chooses not to or later decides she wants more, don't let her pressure you into offering again and making everyone late. She has to see that she needs to work alongside everyone and stop being a primadonna about it. Would a reward chart work, a stcik for each task done properly perhaps - even if she thinks it babyish (she's 8 or 9 iirc) you can tell her that she woudln't need it if she cooperated like a girl her age can. What does H do btw ? Just let you take all the hassle by any chance.

batters · 08/09/2006 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

searchin · 08/09/2006 09:14

Get This. My DD started senior school yesterday and already did not do the first nights homework OR give in all the paperwork required on 1st day back! I totally despair, I can't believe she hasn't pulled her socks up yet despite all the talks and consequences of not having everything ready and done on time. She has always been like this but thought this would be a new start. I can only hope all of you with younger ones get the message thru before they go on to seniors. I obviously have failed.

batters · 08/09/2006 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

searchin · 08/09/2006 10:03

But batters, this about kids not getting ready for school, this is all sort of the same. No? Also letting you guys know that even at the age off 11yrs the same old problem has not resolved.

Glassofwine · 08/09/2006 10:21

DD1 has always been like this and now this term DD2 has started. As of last night I insitgated the Pasta Jar (didn't know it was Soupdragon's and will thank her) system. Each child has different things they can earn pasta for, but the DD's got one for getting dressed and coming downstairs shortly after being woken up. it worked a treat - it was the easiest morning ever. Also DS aged 3 managed to do his own seat belt for the first time for a piece of pasta, which I've been trying to get him to do for months. Give it a go.

batters · 08/09/2006 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 08/09/2006 12:56

Earlgrey - we've been there and done that!

We changed the rules- not allowed downstairs until fully dressed, then shoes on. If they do all that by 7.15 (they are woken at 7am) then they are allowed 15 mins tv while having breakfast. 7.30 tv off, teethcleaned, toilet, 7.45 in car ready to go.

It has made big difference to our start to the day