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Getting butterflies and something that might not even happen...........

15 replies

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 15:45

and if it does probably not for at least another 10-20yrs!!!

To cut a (very) long story short. DH's dad is applying for the "chieftanship" of the area they come from. It's a post that's been empty for some time because of political wranglings that date back to the days when the colonialists first arrived in the country and to do with his step-brothers family line supporting the whites, and FIL's fighting against them.

! Anyhow, there's a very strong possibility that FIL could get the post (conections in the right places). While we were out there FIL put DH on the spot (literally) and said that if he gets the post he needs to name his successor (once someone is appointed it become hereditary). He has two choices......his step-brother (who he's battling against for the 'post') son, or DH..

DH said yes (as he needed an immidiate answer - poor DH didn't even get a chance to ask me - but explained later saying that I would have the option to say no but it was up to me). That would then mean we were 'royal' family (in the 'tribal' sense of the word) and the DS's would be known as 'princes' in the area where he'd be chief. If neither of our boys wanted to hold the post after DH it would be offered to my BIL (DH's younger brother) and if he didn't want it it would leave the family line (again).

There are good points (and bad) to this situation as it stands (presuming FIL gets the post).

Good.

We get to move back out to Zimbabwe when the boys are older - a plan we've always had.

They build a house for you, with 'ammenities' not usually found in most rural homes.

DH would be given a 4x4 truck - his to keep regardless of what happened.

DH would hold the post until he's old and silver and dies - meaning guaranteed income

It's a position which while not "strictly" political could put him in a good position to change things politically - the area where he'd be Chief is a ZANUPF stronghold.......something that can be changed though.

The area we'd be living in is one of the most beauitful parts - Easter Highlands - bit like Scotland but a bit hotter and a little more 'rugged'.

BAD POINTS

We want the boys to finish their education in the UK - so if FIL dies before they finish then I would have to stay here with them while DH was over there - although there is a 2-3yr transition period so the time of FIL's death to DH leaving would be a few years.

The above problem (of me having to stay here while they finish school) means that the chances of having baby no.3 are practically gone - as that would only extend the potential length of time we'd be apart.

We still have a lot of debt - obviously we want to have cleared most, preferablly all before DH goes. We could sell our house when he goes (which would probably clear all the debt by that time) but we'd rather still have it here - and probably rent it out - just so we've still got 'something' here.

We'd be living in the middle of no-where - ok we'd probably have the basics of running water (including toilet and hot water in the house), electricity and telephone (and hopefully DSTV - South African Sky TV) but it would be very isolated.........so I'd have to learn to drive before I moved (ok that's probably a good point - give me an incentive LOL).

The isolation means I'd be forced to learn at least the basics (harder than it sounds - I've been trying for the last 8yrs LOL) of Shona, and to be suitably 'modest and well dressed' one of these things (don't know what they're called ) on my head when visiting people. I'd also be on my own quite a bit as the area DH would be chief of would be quite large.

Obviously we'd be a long way from my family (and the boys - unless they wanted to join us!) - but I can cope with that.

I'm sort of apprehensive about it, and exited at the same time (like I said we don't even for sure whether his Dad is even going to get it yet!). It feels like quite a big 'responsibility' to be married to a Chief and sons that are Princes!

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emsiewill · 06/09/2006 15:48

Wow! I can't possibly offer you any advice (although to me you sound like you are feeling quite positive about this), but this has really brought home to me the breadth of experiences you come across on MN.

This is amazing.

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 15:53

gosh I just read my post and my 'bad' points list is longer that my good points! Although under my slight concerns I'm really quite exited by the prospect!

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HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 16:18

ok so I'm a nutter and as usual thinking far too hard about things....... guess I'd better go and find out who DS1 wants to invite to his birthday party.........

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emsiewill · 06/09/2006 16:19

No, I don't think you're a nutter (although perhaps I'm the only one lol).

This is fascinating to me.

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 16:20

OMG! QoQ faints someone on MN who doesn't think I'm a nutter LOL

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HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 16:21

oh and it's all rather fascinating to me too - before our holiday I knew FIL was going for the chieftanship.......it was only while we were there I discovered what it entailed!

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emsiewill · 06/09/2006 16:21

Yes, but how do you know that I'm not a nutter? In that case my opinion may not hold quite so much weight

JackieNo · 06/09/2006 16:22

Wow - that sounds like an amazing possibility - and you did come across as very excited about it. I hope it all works out for you.

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 16:23

LOL - I hadn't thought of that fact that you could also be a nutter!!! - thought I was the only real nutter round here

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emsiewill · 06/09/2006 16:26

Well of course I don't think I'm a nutter. But others may tell you otherwise. Don't worry, I'm not after your crown lol!

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 16:42

phew - that's ok then - didn't want there to be a fight on for the biggest nutter on MN

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hulababy · 06/09/2006 16:46

It all sounds very exciting.

hovely · 06/09/2006 16:58

wow, how fantastic.
If it happens, then whatever the issues, you will surely find a way around them?
at least you have a few years to start getting things in place (re debt, house, etc).
Would there be any schools in Z where you would consider sending child no 3? Or home schooling?
that's a tough one if you were hoping/thinking of another LO.
good luck to you all

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 06/09/2006 17:06

I'm sure we'd find a way round most of the issues. I think as the boys will be much older by then it won't be as hard being apart (presuming FIL is going to live at least another 10-20yrs) from DH as if it were to happen soon with the boys being little.

Re the no3 - I don't know if DH would ever change his mind - so it's not a huge issue as I have largely resigned myself to 2 children. There are decent school in Zimbabwe now - but who knows what they'll be like in 10-15yrs time - and the transition from a secondary school here to a secondary school out there would be very hard - completely different ethos and I don't think it'd be fair on the child. Homeschooling just isn't 'done' there (and TBH - without wanting to sound selfish - I wouldn't want to).

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HRHQueenOfQuotes · 07/09/2006 00:30

ooo blimey after a drink or two this seems even more daunting - I've been trying to learn the basics of Shona for 8 yrs - and still can't even remember the proper greeting !

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