A school gates mumsnet thankyou!

[Flamesparrow]

After posting last term about being scared to speak to people & having no conversational skills whatsoever, I went in yesterday... and I actually spoke to someone! I can't see us becoming busom buddies or anything (especially after the look of horror when discussing that they were starting 5 mornings a week and if they'll get too tired, I said that if she was too tired by Friday, she just wouldn't go.. big face - Its preschool ffs! Its not compulsory!), but I remembered all the pointers that I had been given, and actually managed to keep up a conversation

Ok, so today I didn't, but you have to take these things slowly .

Well done

I had to literally force myself to speak to people when DS1 started school. Hate it hate it hate it. I' am painfully shy in Real Life.

You're joking?? You're shy????

I don't know how I picture you looking, but personality always seems very confident

yay well done flamesparrow.

know how you feel though. it took me six months before i really talked to anyone at ds nursery.

even now i find it hard, i hate the schoolgate/playground, I find it hard to make conversation with people i don't know very well.

I'm shy, SoupDragon isn't

i'm shy, misdee isnt

I'm shy, and I went out with the buttons of my shirt done up all wrong this morning. So I'm embarrassed now too. (Although in my defence it was DS1's first morning at reception).

If it makes you feel any better - I wouldn't have noticed if someone else's shirt was buttoned wrong

Good point re Soupdragon not shy, you are shy... I guess its the same here - Flamesparrow will talk about anything to anyone, I tend to curl up in a ball and hide.

At least he looked lovely.

I'm not shy, but I don't feel confident in my social skills. My parents were always shouting and swearing at each other and did not exercise a lot in the way of social skills. I feel much more confident when writing.

My friends love me and know I have a good heart but when I meet new people I feel awkward, fearing I might try and make a joke and say something rude or strange instead, I'm sure I do sometimes.

I felt just as you did at the school gate, I don't understand small talk and I don't get how people just strike up a conversation about nothing with people they don't know. For me it takes time.

But if you are prepared to keep smiling and wait for natural chances to slip in a little remark, you find that after a while you click with other mums. I think there are stand-offish mums, but not many. Most people are the same as us, don't know what to say and so on.

My son is just in year one now and I have made friends who I now see socially as well. I am just one of those people for whom it takes time, as I think most of us are really.

Well done flamesparrow. Soon you'll be chatting with those mums you thought were 'sorted' and find they felt just like you did!

I'm not shy at all any more. Living overseas seems to drive it out of you after a while or maybe it's just an age thing?

I haven't found it difficult to start up a conversation with other parents but then I don't expect much from it and I'm not looking for true friendship so maybe that's what makes it easy.

I'll just smile and say hi but not timidly and then I greet the child by name. I might ask how dc is settling in. It's often good to ask for advice, "does your dd go to ballet school? I'm looking for one but don't know where to start" kind of thing. Find mums pretty good about sharing advice/experiences.

Back from return journey - DD has made a friend, and the mum is a mum that I have always liked the look of!!! Managed whole conversations. grin]