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I am not coping well with being a Mum

43 replies

Notcoping · 05/09/2006 18:29

I am feeling so awful. I seem to be losing the ability to be a good Mum to my boys atm & it doesn't take much for me to lose the plot & shout. I always feel awful afterwards & apologise because I know I am wrong to lose it like I do, but I don't feel in control.
The worst thing is, I am soon going to be a single parent & I fear I will not cope at all.
I have had a hard few months, but on the outside I appear to be coping. The reality is that I am not coping with life at all atm & I feel I cannot be a good Mum to my boys because I have a terrible short fuse.
My eldest DS has difficulties, & although he has not been assessed, I am pretty sure he is dyspraxic because the symptoms describe him perfectly. The thing is, he can be very frustrating. He doesn't do as he is told until he has been told several times & simple things like "Put your shoes on" or "Put your seat belt on" have to be repeated several times before he actually does it, which gets very frustrating.
I normally cope a lot better with everything, but just lately I seem to have very little patience & feel a terrible Mum.
I am feeling so run down & like I am not cut out to be a Mum atm. I am so scared of going it completely on my own as I don't feel I will cope.
I would be grateful of any advice, as I feel so awful & don't want to be a monster Mum.

OP posts:
TheRealCam · 05/09/2006 19:23

Hmmm. You absolutely need to get some breaks, not just work and then looking after your own children. Does the eldest have school friends that he can go to for tea sometimes?

Notcoping · 05/09/2006 19:24

He doesn't mix that well with other children & doesn't often get tea invites. He has one or two friends at school, but hardly ever gets invited to their houses.

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Notcoping · 05/09/2006 19:28

He went to the birthday party of one of his friends & sat by himself in a corner for the whole time. I guess the mothers think he would not be great company.

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Notcoping · 05/09/2006 19:43

The battles continue. He is upstairs screaming his head off because he didn't want to go to bed. I just can't cope with it all.

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Notcoping · 05/09/2006 20:20

I have just clicked on the link you gave me, M2FD, & done an online test which indicated that DS1 had a high probability of having dyspraxia. I am going to try & push for referral now.
I am feeling a little calmer now that both boys are in bed & quite, but know I am not coping as well as I should atm & will have a word with my HV tomorrow. I have fought against AD's for the last couple of years, thinking I could cope without them, but maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for me to give them another go if my HV suggests this.
Thank you all for your support.

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Baladi · 06/09/2006 09:28

You will cope with being a single parent,the weight of all the stress will only truly become apparent when its lifted,when you are separated.The sense of peace you will feel when he has GONE, and you can wake up knowing he is not there,nor is he going to be,you will feel like a different person,and mummy completely.
I have lived the feelings you are having as you know,and i know what it feels like to come out the other side.You are obviously a devoted and loving mum,and your boys are very lucky to have you.x

notcoping · 06/09/2006 12:18

Thank you, Baladi.
I don't feel like a very good Mum atm, because I lose it so easily. I know it's wrong & I want to be a good mum, but I just don't seem to be coping well right now.
I was very tearful all of last night. I don't want my boys to feel unhappy & have horrible memories of their monster mummy, but it is like I am not fully in control atm. I think I am a bit run down & will have a word with my HV when she visits me in half an hour.
It is reassuring to hear that things may not be as frightening as I am picturing, when I am totally on my own.

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FloatingOnTheMed · 06/09/2006 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notcoping · 06/09/2006 14:52

We have that book somewhere, FOTM!

I have just had my HV round & told her that I didn't feel I was coping well atm. She said that she would leave me a few weeks to see how I go before suggesting AD's, but she told me to write a list of all the things that are stressing me & to see if I can think of ways to solve them.

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notcoping · 06/09/2006 14:58

She also said that I should maybe push for DS's referral after Christmas, but to get my other problems sorted first.

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fullmoonfiend · 06/09/2006 16:33

well, if we can help in any way, you've only to ask

notcoping · 06/09/2006 17:15

Ahhh, thank you, fullmoonfiend.
I am feeling a little calmer now, & have been a nicer mummy to the boys today. I hope I can stay this way for the rest of the evening!

Thanks so much for all your support. MN is just the best!

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fullmoonfiend · 06/09/2006 17:46

well, just remember, a few deep breaths and walk away if you feel the red mist rising (course, this doesn't work if you're in a bed sit, but I'm hoping you're not )

notcoping · 06/09/2006 17:54

No I am not in a bedsit thankfully, FMF! I will remember your advice when I feel my stress levels rising to unhealthy levels!
Luckily my boys don't seem too scared by their nasty mummy today. I think it is eating away at me more than it is them, as I feel horribly guilty! Mind you, watching Supernanny last night, made me feel a little better!

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fullmoonfiend · 06/09/2006 18:11

god yes!

Tyedye · 08/09/2006 11:30

Message withdrawn

notcoping · 08/09/2006 12:26

I am trying hard not to lose it & have had a good couple of days with the boys. H has now gone away for the w/e, so it is just me & the boys until Sunday night.
Thanks for checking in, Tyedye.

OP posts:
Tyedye · 09/09/2006 09:44

Message withdrawn

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