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Original poster

how to deal with this bl##dy woman!

23 replies

bubblepop · 04/09/2006 17:10

well its back to school today and the same old idiots are still there aren't they? . there's this one woman who is really starting to wind me up, she just can't seem to drop the subject of my 2yr old dd's size.its been going on since she was born, the constant comments like "ooh she's a big un aint she?" and " god , does she ever stop eating?" .

now i could understand if the child was overweight,and if she was that would be nobodys business anyway. BUT SHE'S NOT!! she's about average height and heavier than some (91st for her weight)but the hv is not worried and she's not in the overweight catagory. so what is this flamin woman on about? and why am i letting it get to me? aaaagrh...i just don't know how to handle it and i feel like punching this woman!!! what can i say to her to make her just leave us alone?

OP posts:

Lio · 04/09/2006 17:12

I'd have to ask her to stop mentioning it. She might be really surprised - I have a friend who would make fun of ds's name every time we met and when I finally asked him not to he was shocked and had no idea that he kept going on about it!

BadHair · 04/09/2006 17:23

I'd be tempted to give her a bored, slightly distracted look next time she mentions it and say, "Yes, I think you've mentioned that once or twice before", then immediately talk to someone else. Silly woman.

anniediv · 04/09/2006 17:25

How rude!!!

anniediv · 04/09/2006 17:25

I mean the original post, not Badhair's one

educatingrita · 04/09/2006 17:29

Id agree with badhair advice, make a comment then look away.

Lio - I have to ask now, whats your DS name??

yorkshirelass79 · 04/09/2006 17:31

Message withdrawn

Lio · 04/09/2006 17:31

You are welcome to CAT me. Naturally I think it is a fab name

Or I could just tell you that the most common piss-take friend used to make was JPEG (now you're wondering...)

SSSandy · 04/09/2006 17:33

What does this woman's child look like?

I knew a woman who always did this to me. She'd look at dd, shake her head and go on about how tall she is. She'd pick her up sometimes and groan at the weight.

In the end I lost it with her and she was very contrite. She said the reason she did it was that she was so worried her son was undersized. He was a head smaller than dd who is tall but not the tallest child or girl her age that we know. This woman's son was very thin, light and small, delicately built. Obviously she felt a boy had to be tall and strong

Original poster

bubblepop · 04/09/2006 17:44

sssandy, this woman has 3 girls of her own. the eldest is stocky build, verging on chubby and the younger two are delicate ,elfin types, quite the opposite of mine.
badhair, yes sounds like a good tactic.

OP posts:

Pinotmum · 04/09/2006 17:49

I'd ask her if she was a nutrionalist as she seems so interested in what my child ate. My dd is tall or her age and some people think that means she should be brighter and more mature than other 5 yo, as though this is linked to height ffs. I just do a little laugh and stand somewhere else the next day I'm an old misery

jellyhead · 04/09/2006 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jac34 · 04/09/2006 17:54

I think I'd start making comments about how "slight" her child is ,or ask if she's a picky eater.
Might shut her up.

kittywits · 04/09/2006 18:59

I have experienced the opposite many times!! There is one woman in particular at my children's school who is always ,always going on about how huge her children are , it drives me nuts.

Mine aren't huge but they're well within the norm and I'm sick of her going on about how small my children look compared to hers. My youngest now 8 months is the exception in our family she's big and hefty (I don't know where she came from!).
I was walking to school with her facing outward in a sling and this woman came alongside me with her 3 week old baby and did some small talk and then it came, as it always does:
Her "How old is she now?"
Me " 5 months"
Her " Ooh.... (picture the pause ).....she's really small isn't she?"
Me " No actually she's big"
Her " Well she looks really small"
Me "No she's not because she's on the 91st centile"
Her " Oh well she can't be small then "
Barking or what?
I find it so rude that people think it ok to do things like that. Would it be ok for me to go up to her and say " look my kid is really beautiful and clever, don't you think?"

I know it's about other people's insecurities but what is this rubbish about being big or small?
Can you tell that this bothers me ??!!!!

misdee · 04/09/2006 19:07

people say my dd3 looks huge, but she is teeny. on the 9th centile line last time we checked.

dd2 is big and tall. well she is getting skinnier now, but stiull has a tum. people place her about 2 yrs older than she is, which leads to lots of fun and games.

i try to ignore people now.

charleypopspreviouslyntt · 04/09/2006 19:21

people often comment about how big my ds is - only when I'm holding him though - because I'm so tiny he looks huge; when's actually he's on the 25th centile for weight and height

cleaninglady · 04/09/2006 19:51

this drives me mad - my so called best friend who had a very chubby looking baby asked why i always had small babies both my children where over 9lb born but look more lean nowadays but both just about average - why oh why do people say things like this - it doesnt help the child at all and winds me up! its insecurity about there own child i think.....

chocybickie · 04/09/2006 19:59

i got that today.
i got talking to a man in the playground who i realised was in my access course group.
my 6 year old ds ran out and gave me a hug that about knocked me over. ds is about 4 inches shorter than me.
"god he's big isn't he!! i mean really. his dad must have been massive!"
"yes he is quite tall." (my ex H that is)
"no not just tall, he's really BIG! [shocked face] He's going to be a rugby player!"
"erm no i doubt it, bye!"

at least with my ds i am used to it. i'm petite and ds1 is very tall and broad. so i expect the shocked looks.
ds2 is quite petite but i never get anyone commenting on that.

SSSandy · 04/09/2006 20:29

And what really bugs me is do none of these adults stop to think of the effect of their words on the children?

fattiemumma · 04/09/2006 20:34

just tell her that thats what happens when you feed yoru children a good healthy diet!

NotAnOtter · 04/09/2006 20:41

i get it with all mine - they are not even big just tall.
My poor ds4 gets called LONG 100 times a day and it really irks me. Poor thing 'long' hardly flattering!

bananaloaf · 04/09/2006 20:50

my two dss are tall. at 3 ds1 is taller than some children in primary 1 this leads to people expecting soooooo much from him. i always gets comments baut his height. ds2 is nearly 6 months but again is tall and looks much more like a 10 month old. I hate hearing people comment

SSSandy · 04/09/2006 20:56

I don't even think dd is excessively tall. The doctor always says she's average(height/weight wise) according to the German charts. Offhand, I know at least 6 kids in her class who are taller (just started a week back so I can't compare her to the whole class).

She does have big feet though, although those other 6 are even bigger still. She takes European size 32 at the moment (aged 5) and I (age not to be revealed) take 37 (size 4)! Think she'll have real boats by the time she's finished. I hate buying shoes, the shop assistants measure her feet and inevitably say (in front of her), "she has got big feet!"

lilmamma · 04/09/2006 21:51

My friends son was always a bit on the chubby side,and if any one use to comment he use to say, my mum says im well fed!! say no more..

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