Unicorn
So sorry you are feeling like this. I think that it's so easy to read things into responses when you are down like this, if you feel you need someone and reach out to someone and they're not there, then the rejection just feels like it's increasing from all sides doesn't it. but so often people don't respond in a way we would like not necessarily because they can't be bothered, but often they just don't have the words to comfort in a way you need. Sometimes people just don't know how to deal with friends asking for emotional support, and for some it's easier to say nothing than it is to admit to their own inadequacies. And I know from personal experience that it can feel horrible when you call on people and they don't respond, and this is especially worse late at night - I don't know why, but I know that if ever I've been really down, it's seemed like the end of the world when I've been up late, and the next morning I've woken up thinking what the hell was that all about.
With regard to your dh, you both sound so incredibly unhappy to me. You both need to sit down and talk in an environment where it's not likely to end up in an argument, and decide what you want for the future. Can you get a babysitter and go out for a meal? there you can sit and at least start to talk without possibly ending up in an argument, it's often good to go out somewhere public as the potential for arguments is less when you know there are others watching. You need to decide how you both still feel, do you love him? does he still love you? if so do you want to work things out? if the answer to these questions is yes, then you need to rebuild the communication that seems to have become lost between you. A few nights out is not the whole answer, but it is a starting point. Find someone to look after the kids for a weekend, then go away somewhere, see a show, go for a lovely meal, walk along the street and talk about everything and nothing, don't mention home or the kids, just talk about the scenery, the people you're watching walking by, and when you are talking comfortably about everything else, move the conversation towards your own relationship. It will be a slow, slow process, but if you are both committed, then you can work things out. And then you also need to reclaim your own identity. Find something you can do on your own a couple of times a week, go shopping, join a jim, take up a hobby, something that involves just you and not the kids. If you are happier in yourself, then everything will look so much brighter for your future.
DS just got up now so have to go, but will check in again later
good luck x