Feeling bad about the sad things my dd's have to live through.... I wanted them to have a "gilded childhood"

[emkana]

I've just realized today I have started a thread about my five year old being extremely emotional atm and about my three year old being extremely clingy...

I can't help but feel that this is at least partly due to the trauma of the last year really... since I got pregnant this time last year things haven't been easy, first I felt so sick all the time, then when that passed the scans and the worrying about ds started, and that hasn't stopped since, and I do often feel sad and emotional and am tired and irritable with the dd's when they don't deserve it at all... Then the two hospital stays with ds when I had to be away from the dd's, one of them in Germany when they were in a strange environment as well...
It makes me feel so bad because I so wish for them to have a carefree, happy childhood.

Oh emkana, I wish I could give you a hug. Do you not think that maybe you would feel better if you sent the X rays off? I can completely understand your reluctance, but since you're worried sick anyway, and even a definitive diagnosis doesn't mean the end of hope (since it's so variable) I would trade it in for the possibility of reassurance. I am so sorry.
xxx

tamum, I know what you are saying. I'll wait until Friday when I see the consultant - she sent the x-rays to Bristol for a second opinion, and they have an expert on skeletal dysplasias there, so if he has come back to her and said "def Jeune's" then there's no need to send the films to the USA really.

Thank you all for your thoughts, and your kindness. You know in real life I can't talk to people because kindness and compassion makes me break down in tears - MN is so great because you can get kindness and compassion and break down in tears in the privacy of your own home.

Oh blimey you've got me with tears in my eyes now. I am so sorry. That's good about the second opinion, I will keep everything crossed.
xxx

ds2 ansd ds3 are affected greatly by ds1's condition. We find ways to make it up to them a little, and they learn an awful lot about life as well. Nursery have commented on how helpful and understanding ds2 is towards children with SN, and I have seen him go over and help a girl with SN in a play castle.

Charlotte Moore's book about her sons is interesting. At the end her NT son is just finding out about death and ideas about reincarnation- he says that when he comes back he wants the same brothers (both autistic).

I'll try and find that book, sounds very interesting.