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Advice for pushy neighbour / long play dates

4 replies

Mamabelle55 · 24/05/2014 02:09

Hi. At risk of sounding v anti social, here goes. I work four days a week, v happy to do so, enjoy job and children enjoy good nursery but it does mean my one day off is precious and wonderful to me! Practically speaking I need to do good shop, washing etc but most importantly I really want to just indulge in spending time undisturbed with my children. I also have lots of other friends I want to see but oft don't get around to seeing.

Worth saying that she drains me, she likes all the kids to play in totally separate unsupervised room so we can natter which annoys me too!

We do see friends usually with kids too but I'm just as happy not to. (Esp as pregnant with third so rest is wonderful too).

My neighbour is lovely and v sociable to point that every week we are invited over - clearly v kind but I'm running out of excuses for the days I just don't want to. Even drive round again if I see her in drive to avoid invite sometimes. When I do go I get a hard time for not seeing her for ages - even if just few days ago. Have tried being proactive and putting date in for a few weeks away but still get weekly invite. My youngest is 18mths so needs nap and this always get squeezed when we go over, I don't really want to accept every invite nor do I want her here as I can't really kick her out.

All in all I need to face this and explain to her somehow, without falling out though. Driving around or avoiding going in my garden is not sustainable or actions of a grown woman! Any advice appreciated...

OP posts:
AlpacaLypse · 24/05/2014 02:15

your neighbour sounds fairly needy - are you all a bit out in the sticks? Could you hint her in the direction of a playgroup or two - preferably one that runs on your morning off? Smile

AlpacaLypse · 24/05/2014 02:19

Also you could just tell her what you've told us - that you work four weekdays in order to afford your family's life and really like to have one day to be just mummy and children before getting swamped by the weekend.

mum2030 · 24/05/2014 02:35

I would just turn her invites down a few times politely. Just say, I'm really sorry but I've got loads to do as have been at work all week and want to catch up.

I would think after a few refusals she will get the message. To avoid falling out completely just set a date a few weeks in advance.

Don't feel bad about it.

oohdaddypig · 24/05/2014 03:25

I have had a vaguely similar situation. She didnt live close by though which made it easier.

I explained that as Friday was my only day with DCs they had lots of g-parents and other friends making demand on their time. I was up front about it. Friend wanted to meet weekly - we meet third weekly now.

I do agree with you. On your only day off you sometimes just want to do nothing with the kids and enjoy time with them and catch up. It's exhausting having plans for every day.

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