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Original poster

Need a good line to say to my brother about his annoying habits!

23 replies

saltire · 26/08/2006 10:26

My mum, step dad and idiot brother are visting tomorrow. Now, this is probably going to sound really petty, but it annoys the life out of me.
When idiot is here, he sits in my living room and farts constantly. Now, apart from the fact that we all sit there retching with the smell, he never, ever says pardon, or excuse me. We have taught the kids thats what they say if the fart or burp, but of course, when he's around they won't, because "Uncle idiot doesn't, and he says you ar e a snob for wanting us to say it"! Really annoys me, they are my kids, i want to bring them up to have a bit of respect for people around them as well, and it all goes out the window when he's around. If i ask him to say pardon or excuse me, he won't, he just laughs, and tells me to get lost. There is a lot more undercurrents regarding idiot, which i don't want to go into just now, but my mum takes his side, and says
"Oh we'll be away in a couple of hours just ignore him"
As i said, really petty i knop, but i could do with some helpful comments on what to say to him that will hopefully stop him once and for all.

OP posts:

SherlockLGJ · 26/08/2006 10:27

How old is this guy ?

Original poster

saltire · 26/08/2006 10:28

Would you believe 30! There is a village somewhere missing it's idiot! He is the most selfish, lazy irresponsible....idiot

OP posts:

SherlockLGJ · 26/08/2006 10:30

Could you do a sticker chart for the children every time they remember their manners when the village idiot is around, they get a sticker.

And as we all know, points make prizes.

waterfalls · 26/08/2006 10:30

is he single? if so just oint out why that does'nt surprise you.

waterfalls · 26/08/2006 10:31

point....even

suejonez · 26/08/2006 10:32

Could you add the idiot to the sticker chart, get some sad face stickers specially for him and don't let him have pudding if he gets a sad face!

WideWebWitch · 26/08/2006 10:33

lol at treating him like one of the children! Good idea I think. Blimey, is IS no wonder he's single.

Original poster

saltire · 26/08/2006 10:34

Believe me i could write a novel about him. However i promised my self i was only going to mention this, and not all the other things that make my blood boil about him. He just........argh he gets me so bloody angry.
However, i shall try the sticker chart, mind you the DSs are 8 and 6, so they may well turn round and ask why i'm doing it now!
#I need a good cheeky line to say to him, thats not going to result in my mother having a go at me, and making me apologis efor daring to hurt his feelings

OP posts:

SherlockLGJ · 26/08/2006 10:36

Can't think of a suitably cutting remark, just at the moment.

But you could try opening all the windows wide, regardless of the weather every time he farts.

Or have them all wide open before he arrives.

suejonez · 26/08/2006 10:38

There must be a global warming angle here - isn;t methane one of the causes of the hole in the ozone layer?

RubyRioja · 26/08/2006 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saturn74 · 26/08/2006 10:46

Families can be such fun, can't they? Perhaps "the next person to fart or burp without excusing themselves gets to pay for dinner!" might be effective? Failing that, I might be tempted to try "get the f*!k out of my house, you ignorant stinky arsed gimp!" or would that be a little too tactless? I think I've just realised why I hardly get any visitors!

SherlockLGJ · 26/08/2006 10:48

Humphrey

Seriously Saltire and I know you do not want to get into it all, but can you just invite your mother and not your brother ??

JackieNo · 26/08/2006 10:51

Can sympathise, though not quite the same my FIL (and MIL to a lesser extent) both fart loads, especially after a meal. I think it's more age related (can that be possible?) and they're both a bit deaf, so I think they assume nobody has noticed, so they never apologise, and it drives me up the wall. No real suggestions, though, sorry.

MoreTeaAnyone · 26/08/2006 10:53

Open all the windows just before they arrive. Wrap up warm cause you want the house to be cold. When someone asks

"Can we shut the windows?"
or
"Why do you have the windows open, dear?"

You can say with a knowing look

"Occasionally we get some really awful smells in the house and the windows open help to get rid of the smell"

QueenEagle · 26/08/2006 10:55

Get one of those household sprays for indoor plants - know the ones I mean? Then every time he farts or burps give him a quick spray with it. He should get the message pretty fast.

Tommy · 26/08/2006 11:07

feel for you saltire - I have a BIL who belches more or less continuously. Even his wife doesn't tell him off

Original poster

saltire · 26/08/2006 11:17

sherlock, i did just invite my mother and step dad, he just decided to come along. of course, when i made a comment about it, i was the wrong one.
I'll give you an example of what he's like and what his relationship with my mother is like.
Last year, the phone rang about 7am one sunday morning. I banged out of bed, and it was my mum
"You know we are going away today to Braemar for a week, well is it ok if idiot comes to stya with you for the week, he's very depressed"

My immediate response, and dh's was NO, he can't come, he's nearly thirty, he needs to get grip.
My step dad then phoned back and said that my mum was refusing to go on holiday as she didn't want to leave him. So we backed down - not for my brother, not for my mum, but for my step-dads sake, who puts up with all idiots sh*te, puts up with my mums mollycoddling of idiot,and he works hard all year and it was unfair for him to miss his holiday.
He arrived and did F8 all. He either went to lie down "Cos i've got a headache|" or lay on the sofa watching sky sports. I stayed out of the house, i just can't bear being in the same room as him, he's so bloody miserable.
I've done it haven't i, started to get myself wound up about him

OP posts:

catsmother · 26/08/2006 15:29

Your mum sounds seriously deluded if you ask me - and idiot sounds like a spoilt baby brat who's taking the p*ss, not least because he's being allowed to (but where's his self respect ?).

TBH, if someone did that repeatedly in MY house, without any apology, they'd get a good squirt of the most noxious air freshener I could find ... right in their face.

The whole thing sounds ridiculous ..... unless he has some sort of special need, there's no reason at all why a man of 30 cannot be left alone.

Original poster

saltire · 26/08/2006 15:35

He is ridiculous. he's like that character Timothy that Ronnie Corbett used to play years ago, on TV, can't remember the show.
i have told my mother in no uncertain terms that when she's dead and buried, i AM NOT looking after him!

OP posts:

catsmother · 26/08/2006 15:37

It was "Sorry" I think.

But Ronnie Corbett didn't used to go about farting left right and centre.

wartywarthog · 26/08/2006 17:33

hmmm sounds like he doesn't have to grow up because your mum lets him carry on being a baby. not good for either imo. feel sorry for your step-dad having to put up with it. can you have a picnic in the park instead of having him stink your house out? or insist he sits outside or near the window.

LucyLemon · 26/08/2006 18:43

Totally douse said offender with air freshener and advise others to get out the room whilst you do it.

I have a gross smelly brother. No huge issues with him really...just he stinks. His clothes reek of fags and stale sweat - ewww. I do point out that he's a bit whiffy, often in fact, and I think the situation is getting better. He is also mothered to a horifying degree and will become your brother in 4 years (we're 26...twins y'know)!

I do feel a bit mean later on though as he is quite a sweet person really. I am quite outspoken anyway and do try to do it in a way that can be laughed off. Otherwise he would just ignore it as nagging.

Can't you just ban him from visiting if you don't like him anyway? Sorry if that sounds flippant!

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