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Original poster

I dont think I want sex equality..........................

36 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/08/2006 21:31

Because, i dont think, all things considered, it is in fact equal, is it?

Am quite happy to do my womanly things, but have the appropriate amount of respect and recompense for it.

OP posts:
nearlythree · 25/08/2006 21:34

Depends what you mean by equality.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/08/2006 21:38

Well, society still "expects" some things of women, as well as "expecting" them to want to be equal to men.

i think, either be totally one, or totally the other. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
hovely · 25/08/2006 21:39

don't think it means everyone has to do/be the same.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/08/2006 21:41

But there is a general expectancy, that women should want to be "superwomen". Was discussing it with another MNer today....and I've decided, im against it

OP posts:
Bugsy2 · 25/08/2006 21:42

How about equal opportunities?
I just want choice and equal rewards for those doing equal jobs. I'm good at some things that might traditionally be described as "manly" & I'm glad I have the opportunity to do them. I would hate to feel restricted by only being allowed to do "womanly" things - if that makes sense.

nearlythree · 25/08/2006 21:46

No, I don't think so. My mum always worked, was the first woman partner in her firm and is one of the country's leading authorities in her field. But she was still there for me to tuck me in at night, go to concerts that I was performing in, hang out with me at the weekends etc. And she never compromised on the fact she is a woman, never felt she had to join the male business culture. Me, I'm the total opposite. Never really wanted a career, and I'm happy as a SAHM. That is what equality means to me: being able to be the fullest person you can. It is sexist when women are forced to work when they want to be at home with their kids and it is sexist when they are overlooked for promotion or underpaid because they are women.

I enjoy the fun bits of being a woman, the shallow frivolous bits if you like. I wouldn't be a man for anything. But we are still second class citizens in this country. You only have to look at magazines like Nuts and Zoo to see that. I depair at the culture being fed to young girls these days. You should look like a slapper and the best you can aspire to is to be a trophy for some pissed-up bloke. We should be getting very angry again on behalf of our dds.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/08/2006 21:50

Well indeed nearlythree.

Its the pressure to be able to do EVERYTHING and look good, and be happy about it, and want to do it, and not need help.

OP posts:
nearlythree · 25/08/2006 21:53

I actually think that much of our culture places little value on a woman's career unless she looks good. If you look good, OTOH, it doesn't matter if you work or not.

Bugsy2 · 25/08/2006 22:04

So perhaps it is not so much about equality then - as unrealistic expectations? That I can definitely buy into. We are absurdly hard on ourselves. Only takes one Nicola Horlick & we all think we should be fund managers with more than a handful of children. Or one Posh Spice or Princess Di emerging from hospital post birth immaculately groomed and stick thin & again we are down on ourselves for still slobbing around in our maternity trousers 10 days post partum.
Not sure what the answer is though!

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/08/2006 22:10

Well I think those unrealistic expectations arise due to the "need" for sex equality.

I think it shouldnt be the norm that women jump up out of bed and crack on with the housework after giving birth.

Thing is, with a career it is expected that if a woman has children - automatically the are considered the main childcarer, which is fine, but they are treated as a lesser citizen IMO, and its the "women should have/want a career" thing that pressures them into this.

OP posts:
nearlythree · 25/08/2006 22:16

No, I think the unrealistic expectations arise solely from media pressure.

It's not so much the work/life balance thing that bothers me, it is the fact that women are still valued more for their looks than anything else. More than that, men think they have the right to look at them like objects and expect women to behave like slappers. It says a lot that Abi Titmuss has become famous because of her sex life. That is what men are being told to expect, and women (and girls) being told they must do if they are 'mad for it'. IMO it's why so many young girls go binge drinking. They know it's expected of them that they will have sex with someone and the only way their minds will allow their bodies to do it is to become totally oblivious.

Bugsy2 · 25/08/2006 22:18

Ok, VVV I see where you are coming from. However, if we genuinely had equality then women wouldn't be seen as lesser citizens. We could all enjoy more flexible working patterns, not working patterns & so on.

Flossam · 25/08/2006 22:20

DP and I do pretty mush share the childcare of our DS. He usually collects from our CM after work. However, the fact that he always has to be off work on time to do this (roughly)means that he can't apply himself as well at work. It is very much dependant on the career. He does do things around the house although I maintain not as much as I do! but he does do some things usually with prompting. It always falls to me though to clean the rooms in the house as he just won't think to do it. Men do just do the minimum IME. For example I phoned home yesterday to ask Dp to check the calender (in the next room) for something and he, in all seriousness declared he was busy watching the tele. it is a different world I tell you!!

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/08/2006 22:35

I guess im not explaining well, its that women are expected to be "superhuman" just to be on a level with men, and, in fact, they still arent.

So, I'd rather say, sod it.

OP posts:
Flossam · 25/08/2006 22:36

Come and look at my laminate floor to realise I am some several dozen levels below superhuman...

nearlythree · 25/08/2006 22:39

I agree that competition between the sexes is pointless. Men are expected to have beer guts and be crap at cooking. But there are very good reasons for being a feminist right now. IMO women are worse off than in the 1970's in terms of how the media treats us.

Frizbe · 25/08/2006 22:45

I can see what your saying, although I'd hate to see the state of our house and relationship if I said Sod it so I'm sticking with superhuman for now

southeastastra · 25/08/2006 22:53

i would like equal pay with men

trefusis · 25/08/2006 22:54

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nearlythree · 25/08/2006 22:57

Well, Gordon Brown certainly thinks us SAHMs are unproductive citizens. Don't think he's a capitalist though. Mind you, he won't be happy until every parent is working and every child under the control of the state.

olivia35 · 25/08/2006 22:59

& I'd like my dh to have some of my maternity leave, because he's brilliant with children & would love to spend more time with ours.

Which is why I definitely want sex equality. If a woman wants to stay at home with children, fine. But it's not for me & if we had more equality we might also have more flexibility.

trefusis · 25/08/2006 23:00

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nearlythree · 25/08/2006 23:01

GB thinks we should aim for the same ratio of working parents as they have in Scandanavia. What he ignores is that each parent gets 1 yr off. So usually the mum does the first yr childcare and the dad the second.

olivia35 · 25/08/2006 23:03

Sounds good to me nearlythree.

trefusis · 25/08/2006 23:06

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