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Original poster

Quick question - would you be annoyed if dh - usually back at six

25 replies

carla · 20/03/2004 18:03

...didnt come home til 9.30 without telling you, even if you have bought him a moby (and he left it off). Just wondered. It caused havoc in our household last night, but wondered if I'm being over sensitive.

OP posts:

twiglett · 20/03/2004 18:08

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coppertop · 20/03/2004 18:09

What was his excuse? If he was stuck on the motorway and couldn't use the phone because of the new laws then it would be forgiveable. Otherwise I would be more than a bit suspicious tbh.

womba1 · 20/03/2004 18:12

i'd be a tad p*ed off, but wouldn't let it cause havoc!
i have the knack of making my dh feel really guilty by not saying anything or getting wound up...so...today, if he'd done that lastnight...he would have fed our ds his morning bottle....made me breakfast...and probably done the housework...all without me having to say a word!!

just chill carla...lifes too short

WideWebWitch · 20/03/2004 18:14

Yep, I'd be v. cross.

womba1 · 20/03/2004 18:17

oh dear...does this make me uncaring and too trusting???

fisil · 20/03/2004 18:20

I'd be so worried. And I'd tell him how worried I'd been. He'd then say that he has a right to go out, and I would say yes I know, but I have a right to know. In the past occassionally this has happened and it turns out he didn't ring me because he knew I'd give him a hard time on the phone, and so we've talked about how we would both like the conversation to go - and then he does tend to ring in. God, it's like training teenagers, isn't it!

coppertop · 20/03/2004 18:22

OMG! Just re-read my post and it sounds as though I think your dh has been up to something dodgy. Sorry. Not what I was trying to say!

twiglett · 20/03/2004 18:24

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libb · 20/03/2004 18:38

I'm with Fisil on this one, a few well chosen words usually does the trick - although I did can be just as bad so we take it in turns to slap each others wrists.

Also, he has some ropey friends - I don't. Naturally. The only time I came down hard was when he stayed overnight with the ropiest friend he has and didn't send a "home safely" text, it hasn't happened since.

On the whole, we are both pretty easy going.

kiwisbird · 20/03/2004 18:46

yes I would be in a state of panic
DH always rings to say he is going to be late he knows I freak as he is on motorbike!

zebra · 20/03/2004 19:58

DH flips if I'm more than an hour late... why wouldn't I react the same to him being so late?

Kazziegirl · 20/03/2004 20:21

I don't think you are being over sensitive carla - I'd be really worried if my dh was three hours later - how would he feel if you were that late and your mobile was left off. What was the reason for the lateness?

Clayhead · 20/03/2004 20:23

I'd be really annoyed and very worried.

Ghosty · 20/03/2004 20:23

I would be very worried and then absolutely furious when he got home .......
In fact been there, done that, got the bloody t- shirt ... only when my DH does it he is normally on the piss and says he'll be home at midnight and rolls in at 3am while I am pacing the floor imagining all sorts of muggings etc ...

Original poster

carla · 20/03/2004 21:11

thanks, mumsnetters. Wasn't worried, more hacked off. I'd never do that to him. Ended in more than I'd want to admit - thankfully children were in bed. But he did mention the word 'divorce'. He's such a bully! Argument was that as it was a Friday night and I'd had a couple of glasses of wine at home, why shouldn't he spend some time with his pal at the pub. I have no problem with this, but with a 4 and 5 year old, thought he might have told me. I cried so much about this last night, thank god I've got over it today. And.... told me he'd get custordy ifwe split up....Whadya all think?

OP posts:

twiglett · 20/03/2004 21:15

message withdrawn

Original poster

carla · 20/03/2004 21:21

Twiglett, I've got problems.... he probably would, despit his age

OP posts:

sykes · 20/03/2004 21:37

Carla, if he's only done it once then I'd excuse it. Still very bad but things happen - not trying to make light of it though. Think the aftermath sounds worse but can't believe he'd get custody, despite any problems you MAY have.

Original poster

carla · 20/03/2004 21:43

He does it every Friday knowadays - and turns into a Jekyll and Hyde -dont mind, as long as I know it's going to happen, but I wish he'd let me know.

OP posts:

sykes · 20/03/2004 21:48

Sorry, don't know what to suggest. Does he have problems at work/anywhere else - not delving, honestly. Could he go out for a couple and then you both meet somewhere if you could get a babysitter? Am sure I'm being very simplistic, sorry. But it's not fair - does he ralise when he's his usual self?

Original poster

carla · 20/03/2004 21:52

Thankss all - can I get back to you tomorrow?

OP posts:

handlemecarefully · 21/03/2004 04:28

I would turn my husband on a slowly roasting spit over an open fire if he turned up several hours later than I was anticipating without ringing me.

Once or twice he has been an hour or two late and has been all apologies.

I think your dh could at least have had the good grace to say 'sorry' rather than be argumentative about it

emmatmg · 21/03/2004 06:01

Oh god........I'd be soooooooooooo mad. DH does this, says he'll be in at X and then doesn't ring when that time passes. I hate it and I worry that something horrid has happened to him.

My worst nightmare came true the other week when he went out to celebrate his 30th with friends, said he's be home by 3am, phone not connecting or switched off. When I heard him come in at 4am went to ask him why he didn't ring and found him (badly)beaten in the bathroom. Honstly it was a nightmare.

Hope things are better today Carla.

bobthebaby · 21/03/2004 06:07

I rang my dh to say my mum and I were enjoying our shopping trip to much we were going to extend it. He said "but you will be home soon won't you?", I asked whether he was finding it difficult to cope with ds and he said "oh no he's been asleep all afternoon." I didn't understand this at all, just as I don't understand why your dh thinks being 3 hours late home and letting you do bedtime on your own with 2 kids is acceptable.

stace · 21/03/2004 10:43

Only you really know what your dh's up to but it sounds to me that he's not all that nice to you, you said he's a bully and i personally wouldnt want to be threatened with divorce for voicing my own opinion. It does sound like you have some communication issues to sought out. PLease ignore me if im talking rubbish but i just wonder if this is the only issue with him that bothered you??

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