desperate for a baby, but dh not so keen

[hairymclary]

babies babies everywhere at the moment. one friend is 8 months pg, one has just given birth, people on tv having babies.
I want one! after ds was born I thought i'd never want another child. He was/is my life and I want to absolutely savour every second I have with him. but lately I just have this longing for another one.
Unfortunately dh doesn't agree, but his only reason is that he doesn't want the "hassle"
Now, ds was a model baby, he fed, he slept, never had colic. He has been so easy. pregnancy and labour were fine, no scares. DH says he is scared that it will be different next time, but is he just using that as an excuse?

What do you do when you want another baby but your partner doesn't?

Goodness me - what does he mean by hassle if that was the baby and pregnancy you got?

How old is your ds?

I don't know what he means at all, which is why I wonder if it's just an excuse.
Ds is almost 20 months now so it's not even like it'd be a small age gap or anything

Hey tell your Dh i had all the same as you first time round everything went really well, but also i now have dd who is 7 months, exactly the same my pg was bad at first but shifted, then my labour was fast with no hasstle, dd has slept through from 6 weeks with the exception of the odd night & is a star baby, so its not a one off it can happen twice.

I said to dp last night i would love another baby... his answer..

"you must be joking go & find the milkman "

This could be hard...depends on whether what he says is just an excuse or whether he really doesnt want another child. Sounds like he just needs some reassurance that you both will be able to cope with 2 children and that it will be alright? Two of my friends DH werent atall keen on having number 2 but are happy they went for it now.

yeah, i've been trying to reassure him. we spent a while talking about when ds was born, and what it was like. He says I look back on it with rose-tinted specs and that women do that because otherwise they wouldn't have more kids. But I feel that he looks on it too negatively.
He is quite shy, and I think part of the problem he had when ds was born was all the attention he got, having to phone people and speak to everyone and having visitors all the time. I suppose he has found it harder than me as I used to work with kids and had experience of it whereas it's all been new to him.

my DH too says I look back on DS first few months with rose tinted glasses too, and also about moving house! (we moved twice in 2 years).

May be he is the kind of person who needs a lot of 'space' and time on his own to recharge his batteries so to speak and may be feeling that there wont be 'space' enough left for him to be himself/chill out.

You could deal with calling people and so on.

Me too. DH says he doesn't want to go through all the stress again! To me it was all lovely - or at least the highs outwieghed the lows... So maybe rose tinted glasses?

I am still hoping he will change his mind though...

At the start of the week I admitted to feeling like I wanted another (in 2008 mind you), then ds got sick, we spent 3 nights with little sleep, went to the Doctors 3 times, had to spend the morning in the observation unit, have to race home from work to take over from dh who raced to work, trying to get ds to eat something, anything and now I know how lucky I am most of the time!

My rose tinted glasses have been put back in the case, as I realise how easy just having one 3 year old is.