40th birthday present for friend having difficult sad time

[meysey]

A friend of mine has had a disastrous year - her relationship ended and all her marriage/new home/ babies plans have come to nothing.

Every time I go shopping for a present for her I can only see things that highlight her situation, and I don't want to make her more sad.

If it wasn't her 40th I would get her a pick-me-up present like a day at a spa or something. But I feel she should have something more lasting. I haven't got enough photos to do an album of good times.

Any thoughts? I am wondering about jewellery...

I put this link on for another thread about 40th birthdays, it's lasting and might give her a new hobby: look for the fairy queen bit

How about buying 40 small but useful presents and putting them all in a large decorated/covered box - a bit like a hamper.
Have done this before for a 30th present, don't have to be expensive items, but provides alot of fun opening them all and the thought that goes into it is really appreciated.
Gifts could include things like, small individual cake, chocolate, bottle of wine, make-up, keyring, book, or everyday things like favourite shampoo, conditioner, etc....

i like that idea magicmummy
my brother bought me some rainforrest and a book about rainforrest

I love the hamper idea and perhaps getting friends together to celebrate her birthday in style - kind of like putting crappy year behind her - new year new woman....

perhaps get friends together to write a book about the positive things they admire/like about your friend - may help boost her probably sagging self esteem... .and when she is feeling down and like crap she can pull out book and see that she is a fab woman.

hamper idea is a great one - someone did one of those for my sister when she was 30 and feeling really down. It was silly things like flannels, cool little soaps, joke shop things, choc, wine, funny books (2nd hand) and loads of bots - she loved it more than any other present because it cheered her up so much.

How about a rose bush, or a sapling if she has a garden?

thanks for the tips so far, but do keep them coming. I wish she had a garden as a rose would be a great present, but sadly she doesn't . the hamper idea is nice and would work for a different friend, but this one is so stylish (and a bit high maintenance but in a nice kind of way)I couldn't afford to get her 40 little things she would like... (the starting point would be molton brown hand cream kind of thing!)

she is being very brave and having a party at a wine bar, so her friends will gather.

I got a manicure and a facial for my 40th and it didn;t bother me one bit that it wasn't something lasting. Pampering is much more use than something to look at if you're haig a shit time IMO! Make her a card and a mimi album with teh few photos you have if you want her to have something to keep.