Should I stay away from brother-in-laws wedding tomorrow and keep my sanity!

[chocolatemummy]

My brother in law is getting married tomorrow and I fully intended to go but I am dreading it now. My daughter is a real handful at 33 months old and WILL NOT sit through an hour long church ceremony and hymns etc etc and its in the middle of nowhere, I know I will end up dragging her out screaming, thoroughly embarrassed and sit in the car not being able to leave or even knowing my way home trying my best to keep her entertained whilst locked in the car. My husband is best man so he'll be up front doing the best man bits. The reception is in a big marquee on a field right next to a busy country road so that will be even more stressful because I will be constantly watching her so she doesnt run off out into the road.
basically, I would love to go obviously but I am quite stressed at the moment anyway because i am out of work and skint and thinking of selling the house etc and I know my patience levels are low. I just want to stay at home but I know everyone will think i am
really out of order and rude

I think you should go, if it's a disaster you can leave early. I would try and enlist the help of a young teenager/older relative to help you out during the reception.

Oh just bite the bullet and go.
One day for the happiness of family wont hurt.

lol thats good if only it was that simple, I would love to be there my dd is a nightmare though. I have the child from hell in public places

I think you shoul go - you probly won't be the only one there with a lively toddler and who knows you might enjoy it.

I mean't the tummy big thing. If the reception was in an enclosed place I'd definately go to that, bloody marquee right next to a busy road what were they thinking of! lol

Yeh, I think you should go. Tell Dh that he will have to help out once your are at the reception.

I totally sypmathise. My DS is the same. Ask COV - i was at hers earlier - he is into EVERYTHING and climbing everything, and breaking everything. She was really quite lovely about it.

Thing is, you cant avoid going out forever. On such a special occasion i think you should probably make the effort.

won't there be lots if family that can entertain her and maybe even look after her a bit for you?

Both our dds are like this [they are 2.9 and 16 months] we just assign one of us to each and tail them at occasions like weddings.

well my husbands family consists of him, his brother (the groom) and his parents.Everyone else will be her family and their friends whom I don't know at all. If I lived close to my parents
I'd get them to have her for the day but I don't

Is there no-one you could leave her with, so that you could enjoy the wedding? That way she might get well faster, and not be so stressed.

please keep telling me that because at the minute i am ashamedly avoiding public outings with her as much as possible, she just gets ouf of the car seat or pushchair and runs off or starts screaming if you stop her.
I have a lovely dress for her to wear and I know my dh really wants us there so i think i will try and make a plan as you say, the portable dvd player works good for a while on long journeys so that will be in the car and hopefully there will be other children to play with

take her that way u will guaentee you wont have any nieces of nephews in the future

lol, thats true but then i didnt learn from exposure to my sisters horrors lol

Bring colouring books, plasticine, stickers, a jigsaw, some comics ect and use them as bribes to make her behave. Imo that is fine if it is only on speial occasions.
And get her up early, make sure she has plenty of running around(bigger kids are good for this)and bring her pyjamas and a favourite blanket and she may even go to sleep early. Be optimistic, you are well capable of handling her and if it does go pear-shaped just go home and enjoy chilling out in a relaxed and secure atmosphere.

chocolatemuumy - is she the kind of kid who behaves better for everyone except you? is there any chance you could rope someone in to "being in charge"?

Have you got a laptop? Bring her favourite DVDs. 'Elmo' and 'Bob the Builder' have saved us many times from bored little guys who would love to wreak havoc!!

she is pretty good at home where she can run around freely and play with whatever she wishes. She is very strong willed and can be quite agressive and i have been fairly strict with her from day one, She just wants to do what she wants to do and runs off to do it whether it be across a busy road or a car park ........I think she is just one of those demanding, mischeivious kids and who will hopefully chill out once whe gets to 5 or 6. I will take all advice, get a box of tricks together and hope for the best

Laptop with favourite dvd is a top idea too, good luck and try to enjoy yourself too, sounds like you could do with a bit of fun!

bribery? keep your box of tricks hidden - reveal things one at a time just when it's getting to much to handle. wrap a few things up (even if they're not new - they love wrapping and unwrapping)