DD friends fighting over her.

[misdee]

Just found out that two of my dd1 friends fight over who gets to play with her. anyone else child been the centre of friends fighting over them? they are 4 btw.

Sorry to hear aboutthis misdee - how is she reacting?
Had a similarish issue last year with DD1 who was in year one. She started not wanting to go to school and/or crying at drop-off time - very unusual for her. Lucklily teacher noticed it too. What was happening was that 2 of the girls both wanted to play with her "on their own". DD incidently wanted to play with other children. It chappened to coincide with the teacher worried about solus friendships developing and childtfen being left out so with the teachers backing DD1 had to tell the girl/s that although she wanted to play with her/them she wanted to play with "all our other friends too" this strategy backed by the teacher solved the problem in a couple of weeks...
Maybe your DD could adopt that - have you spoken to the teacher - it would probably work better if tecaher knew what was happeneing??

I can virtually ditto what Sonnet has just said, my dd had a very similar situation last year, again whilst in Year 1, although dd sorted it out for herself before it became an issue, she spoke to her classroom assistant and she sorted it out in a similar way to Sonnet's dd's teacher - only then did dd tell me about it. I was pretty impressed at how well dd dealt with it - she always seems shy to me.

the thing is, its been going on for weeks i only know as today at dropping off time one of dd friends came up to her mum and said 'XXX said she'll be nice today and not hit me' i asked what it was about, and the 2 girls have been squabbling over playing with dd. its mainly the one who is doing the hitting that is a problem, the other girl wants to play with them altogether as well, and i know dd likes both girls a lot and is always talking about both of them. will ask her about it tonight.

oh poor thing - you feel so helpless don't you?.
Well done jaybee to your DD for sorting it out herself...

Misdee - I could have written this thread myself, so big sympathies to you and your dd.
My dd, now in Y2 has had the same problem since nursery. One girl, who she likes enough has always wanted her all to herself whereas dd would much rather play with various friends. She finds it rather stifling and this girl quite controlling. We've talked about it a lot and mentioned it to the class teacher as dd was finding it increasingly hard to get through to this girl that she wanted to be friends with several children. Dd knows that its flettering to have people clammering to be her friend but it doesn't help in reality. Dd has just kept on saying quite firmly to this girl that she is friends with lots of people, not just her. The class teachers have helped by not putting them in the same working groups always and steering the other girl towards other people when they need a partner.
Things have eased up a bit this year I'm pleased to say. I think it comes a bit through the insecurity of starting school, and the girl who is giving your dd problems may be lacking in confidence.
Don't know if that helps at all.