Mum just phoned - My 12 yr Brother is being bullied at school.

[M2T]

This has seriously upset me.....and her, which is why she phoned me at work. She just had a phone call from the school to say that 1 boy (lets call him John) took his folder off of him and put it into a cardboard box. Another boy (Paul) took the box upstairs to the 2nd floor and hid it. The teachers got involved as my brother started to cry and get really upset. John was sent to headmaster. Paul went into the classroom with my brother and the teacher overheard him saying "Just wait until I get you after school".... so Paul has been sent home to protect my brother.

The school have assured my Mum that this is being dealt with and both parents have been phoned and are coming up to the school on Monday.

But for 2 weeks now my brother has been talking about wanting to move schools. Apparently they have been teasing him about his ears. It's gotten so bad that my Mum has told him he can have an operation if he wants it.

This is making me SO angry and upset and I really feel that if I clapped eyes on one of the boys I would not be able to hold back from saying something terrible to him.

How can I help him? You hear all these terrible stories about children committing suicide to avoid being bullied anymore. I'm terrified for him and I know my Mum is too.

Should have added that he has been teased for quite some time about his ears sticking out, especially by my other brother who is 15.

So sorry M2T. I've no experience of bullying - well, as yet, anyway. But it terrifies me. Hope someone has some good advice.

Hi M2T. So sorry to hear about your brother. I was bullied at school, so I can really sympathise. The problems never got solved for me until I left, but I really think the whole attitude to bullying has changed since then, schools have really good procedures and policies for dealing with it and are much more sensitive to the issues involved. It sounds like the school are tackling it straight away, and I hope it gets sorted out quickly and your brother gets happier very soon. Maybe your other brother could be persuaded to lay off too?

Thanks Ponygirl - I brought that up with my Mum about my other Brother.... she's very defensive about it. She just snapped "There's nothing I can do to stop him" and nearly hung up on me. I feel very helpless and I also feel like my Mum isn't going to deal with it very well.

Just had another update from my Mum - She has been thinking more about it and has realised that this may be more serious.
Last week my brother had his money stolen whilst he was at PE and then later that day a coin hit the back of his head and he was sent home.

The poor soul. My Mum is going to right down the dates and times of all the incidents and will take the info to the school on Monday.

I've told her that if things are being stolen and he is being assaulted then surely the police should be involved??

That sould be "write" not "right"...

I'm sorry for what your bro is going through, M2T. At least the school is taking it seriously. Can you speak to your other bro about his teasing, if your mum won't/can't do anything?

Suedonim - I'm going to give it a try. I don't think he is grasping just how badly it's effecting our little bro.

Poor little mite.
Maybe you and/or your mum could use this weekend to talk things through with him and find out what else has been going on. Your mum's idea of writing it all down seems like a good one.

My brother used to be convinced that his ears stuck out way too much and should be pinned back. He even convinced my mum that it was true. She took him to see a doctor. The doctor showed them both some photos of what REAL sticking-out ears looked like and it made them realise that his ears were fine.

Have you looked at the Kidscape website? They have a lot of useful information on there about bullying. They even run courses in assertiveness to help victims.

It's awful isn't, how horrible children can be to each other. Makes you want to go and slap them. Hope you can find something to make life better for your brother.

here

What area do you live in? In the Greater Manchester area where I live there is a centre called Bully Free where they provide mediators between the children and school and their tormentors. My sister is the manager and she deals with this sort of thing everyday. I'll see if she has any advise for you but may not be able to post back straight away.

I have just spoke with my sister and she has said she will be happy to advise you either over the phone or via E-mail. She's very good at what she does and has had recognition from one of the MP's for it. Check out the website BullyFree

I really hope this helps. They have helped a lot of people and advised many who don't even live in the area. They have fact sheets they can send out that detail how to go about things. Let me know if this helps.

It sounds like your brother is having a very tough time of this M2T. What are his school friends like? do they help him stand up to the bullies or are they victims as well? Could your mother invite his good friends round - or anything else to encourage the frienships such as asking the teacher if they could sit together in class? If the whole class ignore the bullying and don't stand up for victims, will the teacher or someone else make it a topic to study and discuss?

M2T, has anything happened at school today? Did your mum get things sorted out for your brother?

Thanks so much everyone! Pipbeckett - We are in Central Scotland. I'll definitely pass this info onto my Mum.
I tried to phone her yesterday, but couldn't get hold of anyone. I'll find out tonight hopefully. I've been unable to get online much as there have been problems at work.

One of my brothers good friends is also being bullied by the same boys, he has Cerebral Palsy.

I spoke to my other brother who is 15yrs old and nearly 6ft tall. He has realised that it's gone further than just a bit of teasing. I have asked him to keep an eye on his little brother and perhaps let the bullies know that he is watching them. He is totally non-confrontational so I know he won't start a fight.... just let the boys know that our baby brother isn't on his own.

Fingers crossed it was a good result yesterday.

Just read this M2T - how horrid for you all.
Hope it went Ok yesterday. I'll be following this..
Sonnet xx

Just spoke to my Brother on the phone. He said that my Mum didn't go to the school yesterday, but the other parents did (What is she playing??).

Anyway, despite my Mother, the boy was back at school today and APOLOGISED to my brother!! Noone stood over him, he just walked up in front of the whole class before the Teacher came in and said "sorry". He didn't get any hassle from anyone else and he seemed very cheerful and happy.

Let's hope that's the end of it..... somehow I doubt it, but I'm an old cynic.

Oh I do hope so....what happened to your Mum?

Well it sounds like a good start anyway.

Best wishes to you and your brother. I'm really glad his older brother is helping now as well.

I spoke to my Mum last night and she says that she was never supposed to go to the school. It was the bullies parents who were called in. Mum was just supposed to take note of dates and times of any other incidents and phone the school. Hmmmm, I'm not convinced. My Mum is very good at burying her head in the sand when it comes to serious issues.

Anyway, as long as it's better for my baby brother that's the main thing.