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Original poster

Funny things kids say ...

25 replies

MrsSpoon · 10/08/2006 23:37

Don't see a current thread like this, always good for a laugh, please feel free to share your stories.

Today when I was in the shower DS2, aged 4, looked at me intently through the shower screen then asked "What are these Mummy?", pointing at my general chest area, "Errrm", I said, remembering DS1 had been facinated by nipples at a similar age and presuming these must have been what he had spotted, "those are nipples", "No!!" he said in a, yes I know what nipples are do you think I'm stupid sort of way, "What are those great big things?", pointing at my chest again. I took a look and saw that a couple of hairs (from my head) were on my chest and perhaps this was the problem "That's Mummy's hair" I said, then he got really annoyed "No!!! Those great big things there!", pointing at my chest again, to which in indicated to my boobs and he said "Yes, what are they?", sudden panic as I hadn't thought what would be most appropriate for him to called them, I finally said "Those are Mummy's breasts" to which he responded "Breasts, hmmm I don't know breasts".

I am now living in mortal fear of him announcing in public that Mummy has great big breasts.

OP posts:
notasheep · 10/08/2006 23:44

sounds like a boobman

Original poster
MrsSpoon · 10/08/2006 23:46

LOL takes after his Dad then!

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notasheep · 10/08/2006 23:50

And im envious of them i am an AA cup

Original poster
MrsSpoon · 10/08/2006 23:53

I'll send you some in the post notasheep.

They are not all they are cracked up to be.

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jamsambam · 11/08/2006 00:03

heres a good one...ds1 is in the beaver scouts ( im one of the leaders) and we had to 'invest' all the new beavers we had. they all came fromthe same class in school and one of the was asked on the monday morning how it went. he promptly told the whole school in assembly that " the beavers were investigated and would have to meet on fridays from now on".
that was hilarious untill the local paper called us!!!!

BadHair · 11/08/2006 00:28

Ds2 is very good at acting out bits from his favourite films, not always when you're expecting it. We were in the park a couple of weeks ago when he walked up to a total stranger and said (in the voice of the Madagascar penguin) "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave", and he smiled, waved and walked off. Poor man was somewhat bemused.

DS1 said something to him the other day and he adopted the voice of Edna from The Incredibles and said, waving his hand dismissively, "I know, dahling, I know".

He also announced, very loudly, in the campsite showers, that Mummy had a great big willy! Which is, I feel obliged to point out, a huge fib.

Original poster
MrsSpoon · 11/08/2006 16:49

LOL!

DS2 claims there is a girl at his nursery who has a willy.

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Frizbe · 15/08/2006 12:13

dd1 this am in car
'mummy look'
quick look round dd1 is waving finger at me
'what's wrong with your finger?'
'look at it mummy!'
'I can't darling I'm driving, whats wrong with it?'
'Its got Mango on it'
'Mango? where have you gotten the Mango from hon?'
'My ear!' (I virtually PMSL)
darling that's Ear Wax.......

ilovecaboose · 15/08/2006 12:19

Ds is 22 months so ain't talking properly yet, but has a wicked sense of humour. But we were on holiday and every car journey ds sat on extra seat in boot, behind me, OH and OH's sister.

Ds repeats OH's sisters name in a really croaky hoarse whisper repeatedly. Till she turns round and he smiles sweetly at her with an innocent look on his face. This goes on the entire car journey, every car journey.

We couldn't decide whether it was funny/cute or just very very creepy.

wrinklytum · 15/08/2006 13:20

DS has just cracked potty training and now does his poos on the "big boy" toilet.I took him up there the other day to do a poo."Look mummy" DS announces "Daddys left skidmarks in the toilet!!".Needless to say Daddy is now suitably shamefaced as ds then proceeded to shout this gem of information downstairs whilst dps mates were round......Much to Mummys amusement!!!

izzybiz · 15/08/2006 16:06

my Dd is 2.3 and insists that Ladybirds are called Lazy bones!

surprise · 15/08/2006 21:45

DS (nearly 4) decided to do some exercises. Mummy I'm going to do a hundred press umps. Much better word, I think

tiswas · 15/08/2006 21:49

My dd 3.4 was frantically looking for something in the lounge, I asked her what she was looking for...my balance mummy !! A short while earlier she had tumbled over and i said never mind you just lost your balance didnt you !!

nutcracker · 15/08/2006 21:52

Ds is obssessed with my breats MrsSpoon and often says funny things in relation to them.

The funniest so far was when I was getting dressed and he was sitting next to me on the bed leaning forward to get a better look. As I put my bra on he said 'Ohhhh i didn't see the red bits'

Also today he was messing with his winky (as he so likes to do) and so I said 'stop playing with that now please' and he said 'you stop playing with yours', so I said 'i don't have a winky' and he said 'no you have boobs', to which I replied 'yep thats right', so he said 'well play with those then'

nutcracker · 15/08/2006 21:52

Breasts not breats

JackieNo · 15/08/2006 21:58

Frizbe, I had DS in the car saying urgently 'Stop, Mummy, stop driving' and I'm looking round at him trying to work out what could be so urgent, and he's holding his finger out to me and says 'Snot, mummy, stop driving'. I didn't.
DD (6) today watched me pick up my new-ish bag and sling it across my body, rather than over one shoulder, and said 'I like your bag like that Mummy, it makes you look really posh'. Short silence. 'But you aren't really'. PMSL.

BudaBabe · 15/08/2006 22:01

DS (5) looking at me after I got out of shower - "why do you have hair on your willy Mummy?" Me "I don't have a willy and you will have hair there too when you are older". Seemed OK till later in supermarket check-out queue (!!!) "You know Mummy I think you should really shave your willy cos then no-one will see your hairs".

Thank GOD we are in Budapest and no-one spoke enough English to understand him!!!!

heiferjamese · 16/08/2006 10:55

My DD 2.7 says "you're my best friend in the whole wide world in his hands"... or "you're my best friends in the world heaven knows"....

Can understand the 1st one, but no idea what the 2nd one is about....

melpomene · 16/08/2006 17:59

Well, since the tone of this thread has already been lowered:

My dd1 (3) said to me "You've got a penis on your head!"

And a few minutes ago she put on a deep gruff voice and said "Hello, I'm a talking poo."

saltire · 16/08/2006 18:28

I think i've posted on here before about the time we were in Woolies in Huntingdon with Ds1, who was about 22mths at the time.
He started shouting at the top of his voice
"homo, homo, look mummy, homo" and pointing in the direction of a man! Needless to say we were mortified and the man didn't look too ahppy either, then he moved to the side and we saw a big
"homo Simpson" calendar!!

geogteach · 16/08/2006 18:34

DD anounced from the back of the cat 'they're all clean now', as I looked round to see what was all clean she took the last of the 16 pebbles (she had been practising counting them) out of her mouth that she had licked clean

Spagblog · 16/08/2006 19:01

My mum took me and the kids to the zoo today.
Last night daddy was moaning that he hadn't been invited to go too.
DD (4) turned to him and said "You can't go daddy because you have to stay home and tidy your bedroom!"

We currently have half a dozen boxes of "stuff" in our room, and it does look like a tip!

Spagblog · 16/08/2006 19:02

I meant DH not daddy

nicky1975 · 16/08/2006 19:45

My dd1 (4 1/2) still has accidents in the toilet department (she has asd) and I remember once saying to her after a particularly horrible clean-up operation: "Darling try not to poo in your knickers" About half an hour later she sidled up to me sheepishly and said "Mummy I'Ve cra**ed!!!!!!

Original poster
MrsSpoon · 27/08/2006 18:17

Yesterday evening DS2 was using a public toilet and he got in the cubicle and announced "if this had a button on the wall it would go down", I was trying to work out what he meant when he then announced that he hadn't seen many lifts with toilets in them. Still not quite sure if he thought he was really in a lift with a toilet or the toilet cubicle reminded him of a lift.

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