Doctors and Nurses in playtime - how to 'control' it?

[beachyhead]

My dd (6) and my ds (2) are quite into doctors and nurses at the moment and it has shocked the nanny a bit. Have taken dd aside and given her the 'some things are private' and 'don't do it again' in a stern way, but the whole episode has shocked me a bit. Before you start wondering, nothing really bad went on, just a bit of wandering hands! Still not sure if I did the right thing or how others have reacted?

Hi beachyhead, I can't answer from a mothers experience, as I haven't come accross this yet with my DD. But, I do remember being about your DD's age and getting an astronomical telling off for playing doctors and nurses with a friend of a similar age. I think my mums reaction was partially fuelled by embarressment that we were found 'hands a wandering!' by my little friends mum. Mad as it sounds, I'm sure her negative reaction (amongst other things) effected me with regard to sex and bodies for years and years! (Obviously NOT saying this is the case with your DD though!) But I was going to suggest getting a book of 'biology' aimed at her age group, and maybe discussing whatever questions she has, and what she is interested in. While making it clear that other peoples bits are out of bounds right now. It's difficult to know what to do when innocent and natural intrigue vies with socially acceptable standards. Sorry if what I've suggested you've already tried, or isn't the route you want to take, blimey, it's difficult!

I think you do have to tread very carefully. 3 incidents stand out in my mind from an early age...

Incident 1: showing my bare bum to the child next door through the fence and mum spotting this - and totally shaming me and telling me this was disgusting.

Incident 2: (don't you dare laugh!!!) the dog humping my arm - frankly I didn't even realise what the dog was doing (I must have been about 6), but mum spotted this and told me off in a very shocked and disgusted way! - I just thought the dog had gone nuts and was playing a boisterous game...but from her reaction I sussed that something else was the matter

Incident 3: colouring in my bare nipples with blue eyeshadow when I was about 4 or 5 (okay, okay I was a strange kid!) - I innocently showed mum and she went apoplectic.

So instilled into me from an early age - the human body is a source of acute shame and embarrassment.....and I have that baggage to this day.

(I have the feeling I will regret relating this tales...perhaps I should have changed my name for this!)

HMC Sorry but I did laugh and very loudly and now have two kids shouting 'let me see'....'what is it' and trying to barge me away from the computer!

Beachyhead, I think you handled your incident just about right and my instinct at the young age of your two is just to indicate that it is not acceptable but not make an issue of it.

Maybe you wise people can help me with an incident today.

My DD (8) is the most gorgeous, sweetest, most innocent little girl. Unfortunately some of the little shts in her class call her 'goody two shoes' and 'geek'. But today, this low level tormenting became a bit more serious. One of these same little shts came up to her, grabbed her chest and kissed her and tried to stick his tongue in her mouth. She was absolutely appalled. She knew it was something sexual but it broke my heart that her innocence is being threatened. If I went to the school, they would try their best to sort it out but in reality there are very few sanctions that can be taken against an 8 year old little sht. She has also begged me not to tell either the school or DH (who would probably go round to said little shts parents).

I gave her a talk about no-one is allowed to touch her body and she would be perfectly within her rights to act in self defence and push this boy very hard if he comes near her. I suspect with the current mealy-mouthed discipline that goes on at the moment that she would be the one to get into trouble in this scenario.

So any other advice that I can give her?

Pacific, I'm afraid if a lad ever even threatened to assault my DD, I'd tell her to knee him in the nuts!
(Not so mealy mouthed after all )
Children of around 5 playing 'doctors and nurses' is one thing, but this incident your DD suffered, combined with the prolonged bullying is nothing but an assault, in my book.

Pacific, I think you should ignore your dd and talk to the school. She thinks she doesn't want you to talk to them but she is only a child of eight and doesn't always know what is best for her. She shouldn't have to put up with assaults, either verbal or physical and the school will have to know and only the school can prevent it. Talk to the school, agree a policy and only then tell your dd. But do something.