Dh just doesn't 'get' that the reason I am often a miserable git is because...

[handlemecarefully]

...I know with absolute certainty that the water pistol in the middle of the kitchen floor, and ds' 'big boy pants' (teaching him potty training) lying on the sofa, plus the can of tomatoes sitting on the kitchen window sill etc will remain there in perpetuity unless I put them away. The mess is mostly dd and ds (4 & 2) but occasionally dh too, and I just can't keep up with it solo....

Tried to explain to dh which precipitated a mini rant (he didn't actually shout, but was clearly agitated) along the lines of:

"I work so hard and if you can't bring yourself to pick up a couple of things" ...(it's not just a couple of things - everything is just dropped where it was used last)
"Where do I come in all this - where's John? last as always"...

"to be honest hmc you're crazy and need your head read" (franny will agree with that one)

etc...

But all I want is for him to occasionally spot something which has been dropped where the kids stood and rather than just walking on by, putting it away....

sigh...

Betty, that's funny, because we have indeed had a cosy night in....

Ask everyone once nicely and then put it in the bin.

Do you want your children to think it is acceptable for mum and dad to pick up for them as opposed to mum. That's no solution. Get them tidying up after themselves. Put on a 3 minute up tempo song once each hour and for that time everyone has to tidy up as much as they can. Award a prize. Then sit down for 55 minutes.

NormaSnorks- that exactly what DH does!!!!

It's hard to criticize him becuase he does something, but.... never what needs doing.

Eg, in the term time I have to get three kids (one with SN who needs constant watching) up, washed, dressed (youngest goes to CM), and myself ready for Uni. Dh works nights so not always around, but when he is we are more likely to be late as he will do completely useless things (putting away washing or washing up usually) that block the palces I need to get to, but could wait.

Drives me nuts!

as a culprit of quite 'dh' behaviour myself, my own dh (who we have long-thought has more oestrogen in his system than me) has a way of coping with my untidiness and general thoughtlessness around the house. he does all the washing in our house and we share the ironing, but mostly only do the dds' clothes all in one go; our own we do 'as and when'. he just puts all my dry washing in a pile and puts them on my side of the bed. he puts his own washing away but it's my job to put away my own clothes. it can take up to 3 weeks for me to get round to doing it but he never moans about the huge pile of clothes on the chair/dresser, as long as i keep it my side of the room. if he nagged i'm sure i'd get (unreasonably of course) narked.

i spose though it's case of whether you could live with the mess in the meantime, waiting for it to be dealt with. if he put it all away for me i think i'd just expect it all the time