Men are like text books , little rant !!!

[melsy]

I just thought this humourous this morning. He was so like a book I read. Men, it states in the book, like to solve problems and fix everything , offering unsoliceted advice rather than empathising.He is becoming sooo predictable. I mentioned this morning that I felt really tired his response "why do you feel tired, I need to work this out, what is it ?I dont understand." So I said "I am not a car thats broken , do you need a list: PND PILLS,late nights,weekly therapy, more blood tests, hospital visits, on call for baby 24/7 whilst he leasurley gets ready for work ; shower,shave,breakfast,read newspaper!!. Im busy cleaning baby,feeding baby,doing bottles,washing up. Weres me in this NOWERE!!!I have had NO breakfast, no shower, no time to read. I also had to remind him that just because I dont show depressive behaviour does not mean I am no longer suffering. He then went of to work with his head down and tail between his legs. Oh and the other rubs is this hes seeing to himself and I havent JUMPED out of bed yet to be super mum , and nags Melsy get out of bed , Melsy she needs feeding , Melsy she needs changing on and on. I have this all weekend when he is at home. You would think I didnt cope when he went and left me for china for 2 weeks.

Now sure I feel better for that or worse !!!

So Im alone then ???

nope, not alone. My dh is very similar (ds now 2.5)... he gets up at 6 and leaves at 7, i'm practically a single mother through the week as he rarely gets home before 8.30 (and this weekend he was in America - arggh - Brazil in August...).
I too get the 'whats the solution' stuff, though i am slowly training him that the appropriate response to tears is a hug followed by a cup of tea.
(in fact, ds a few weeks ago, when i was crying over a soppy book i was reading while he watched cbeebies, said 'get cup of tea, mummy'!!!!).

Teaching him young then wehay!!!That is so cute.

Melsy, I know exactly where you are coming from with the problem solving ... my dh simply cannot comprehend that I can feel really down and not know what is wrong. To him there has to be a specific cause for everything and therefore a specific solution. Sometimes all I want is a good cry to make me feel better but I have to save it till I'm on my own because I'll get interrogated otherwise.
Women are definitely much better at just listening and offering a shoulder to cry on ...

Take this weekend off and let him cope!! Get an imaginary migraine or stomach bug on Friday and I bet you will be laid up in bed for the rest of the weekend!! (I did this once with x2b - he was the laziest man in the world though!!) And at least you're not married to Gordon Ramsey

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My DH is much the same. He really cannot get to grips with the fact that sometimes i just want quiet, not to talk and to just "be". i'm going through trauma with my mum at the moment and he will not listen to me venting because I don't "do" anything (i.e. tell her to get stuffed). Doesn't understand that I don't want to 2do" anything, I just need to whinge sometimes to get things straight in my head.

You are all making me laugh !!! Twiglett I read it about 6 years ago when it came out I think . I cant believe I still remember bits of it. Seems to be helping now. I have just sent him an email saying : would you do this would you do that..... Very assertive of me me thinks.

My mum says that I also chose to have baby and that It is my responsibility during the day and that he also needs time off. He cant do my job and aswill as his.

Interesting reading melsy, have to say well done for being assertive. Have you or your hubby watched 'who rules the roost' Saturday BBC1 (i think) repeats sundy BBC3 very good programme at getting dads to see the other side of the coin.

about your mums comment, can we assume that it was not solely your choice to have children but a joint decision???

When your husband goes to work does he multi-task 25 jobs non-stop at the speed at sound without hardly any let up from 7am- 10pm (you probably doo even more!!) I doubt he does, i bet he goes out for lunch, i bet he doesnt have to juggle all the needs of incapable people and do a million other tasks at once all day, heh he reads the paper!!!

I agree with Twinkie take some time out, make him see what its like.

I vote for every woman having a compulsory 48 hour child and responsiblity free break every 6 months on the National Health Service and the partners have to cope alone!!!!!!

Bet the divorce/separation rate would come down!!

Ok I admit it. This is me down to the last bit and I am sure it drives women nuts.