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Original poster

need to rant, rather p***ed off!!!

14 replies

possumhead · 30/07/2006 10:27

Sorry ladies but really need to get this off my chest!
Dh, myself and dd (6mths)went to local family pub early yesterday evening for quick meal and nice drink.
After we had finished eating and was getting close to dd's bath and bed time some friends of ours (mainly my friends) came in.
The joined us for a drink and got dh a drink too.
dd started getting grizzly so i said i'd take her home and get her bathed, he could finish his pint and then join us (time was 8.15). Only a very short walk home.
I bathed dd, feed her and put her to bed, then finished watching casualty!! Still no show.
Phoned him at 9.30, he let friend answer phone and i wouldn't speak until dh was on phone. Told him it was a long 10 mins and i was a bit ped off, to which he said "oh". So i hung up!
Decided to have a bath myself and would then go to bed.
I then sent text at 10.30 saying "hope u've got keys as i'm going to bed!"
Had a reply saying "love you, back soon".
Anyway to cut long rant a bit shorter, he finally came home really pissed at 1.30am and rang doorbell. Had to get up and let him in as dog wouldn't stop barking and i didn't want dd to wake up!
We had an arguement in which he slurred that he loved me and dd, but if he wasn't good enough for me then i should divorce him!!!
Decided that we shouldn't argue anymore as he just didn't understand anything except for the fact that he was having an enjoyable evening - my point of view was lost in the alcohol!
I don't mind him having a night out, but it's just we don't seem to have any time together at the moment!
I was ped off with the fact that dd was fast asleep and i was sat on my lonesome whilst he was literally across the road in the pub with one of my closest friends and her partner. Why didn't he think and maybe even invite them here for a few drinks so that i could socialise too?
He's still in bed now (the spare room), i've tried making as much noise as possible though!
Don't know what to do when he gets up though, should i ignore him and wait for apology? or try and explain how i felt, therefore prob cause another argument as he will have bad hangover?
Am i just blowing things out of perspective?

OP posts:
southeastastra · 30/07/2006 10:32

i would milk it and let him know he's upset you, next time make sure he takes the children home!

Bananaknickers · 30/07/2006 10:32

No I would be pissed off to at his lack of respect t.b.h and he has done it in front of your mates. Explain how it made you feel though and I hope you make it up soon and he understands

candystripes · 30/07/2006 16:13

Possumhead I would have been so annoyed.
Did you manage to talk to DH today?

Original poster
possumhead · 30/07/2006 16:27

Hi Candystripes,

I have calmed down a bit now and ranting on about it on mumsnet really did help (although my rant is rather long-winded)

He did apologise when he eventually got up, around lunch time!!!
We had a good chat and i blubered! He quite rightly pointed out to me that i'm off on a hen night on friday night and won't be back till saturday tea-time, however i said it didn't excuse him getting drunk and coming in at 1.30am (especially when he had no keys). Why do men always have to turn things back round?

Bananaknickers (cool name) - that's what annoyed me most i think - in front of my mates!

OP posts:
Tortington · 30/07/2006 16:32

its not that you wanted to stop him having a good time - and you should make this perfectly clear - youa re not his keeper - i am sure you would have LOVED to have stayed and got shitfaced - but you couldn't - why not?

really why couldn't you have stayed - answer please

naswm · 30/07/2006 16:38

I'd have felt exactly the same possumhead. And my dh knows that if he'd stayed in bed until lunchtime he'd be in the doghouse bigtime!

Original poster
possumhead · 30/07/2006 16:38

exactly i'm not his keeper, but some consideration wouldn't go amiss eh?

You're right i would've loved to stay and get a few more drinks down my neck, however dd needed bath and bed and is breast fed. Also pub states children out by 9pm.

OP posts:
Tinker · 30/07/2006 16:40

I'd be pissed off. It's the not letting you know what's happening.

Tortington · 30/07/2006 16:41

so why did you have to bath her?

why is it automatically your responsability - to think - its nearly bedtime

why doesn't he think of that?

Tortington · 30/07/2006 16:42

wht i am getting at is mindset. i wouldnt be pissed off at anything he did actually beuase thats what you do when you go out - come home late speak inane crap etc.

what i would be pissed of at is the assumption i do the parenting.

next time love you both leave together and he arranges a night out in advance.

try a breast pump

Tinker · 30/07/2006 16:43

Breast pump not as simple as it sounds.

Original poster
possumhead · 30/07/2006 16:46

Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it? He said that to me this afternoon when we had our chat. "I could've brought her back for bath and bed!"

No bloody good telling me after the event is it! .

I think i'm gonna have to toughen up a bit with him and just tell him he has to do it, if a similar situation ever occurs.

OP posts:
Original poster
possumhead · 30/07/2006 16:54

Tinker - you're right about the breast pump and she is a stubborn thing - not taking the bottle! But friday night - hen night - she'll have no choice i'm afraid.

TheConsideredCustardo - you're quite right with your points and advice taken on board!

OP posts:
edam · 30/07/2006 17:00

Glad he's realised this was out of order. Your hen night thingy isn't the same because it's arranged in advance - he knows he'll be looking after the kids, he hasn't just been abandoned.

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