SS and sticky situation

[PistolAnnies]

I wasn't sure where to post this, so apologies if it's in the wrong place.

I'm looking for advice for my sister, she doesn't have Mumsnet, Netmums or the like and I'm always banging on to her how great they are

Anyway, looooong story short, she is 35 - 3 years ago, her 2 children were taken away by their father as she was an Alcoholic, fast forward 3 years, she has worked very hard and now has the kids overnight with her weekends, as she doesn't drink anymore and has quite impressed her Social Worker etc. last year, she had another baby with her current partner and although SS had to make sure she was ok this time (as she'd had bad PND with the others), were happy with everything but advised that if her and her partner ever split, they'd need to know as her partner is looked at as being the protective element in the relationship.

Anyway, major rows later and things pretty much going wrong with the relationship, she found messages on his FB to his brother, telling him he's going to contact SS and take away baby and leave her

What rights would he have? Would SS intervene? Would her baby now be taken, even though she is doing nothing wrong now but they see her partner as being her reason for keeping on the straight and narrow?

Any advice appreciated x

Well they are both equal parents. Children don't automatically remain with their mother these days

The child's welfare is all that matters here. How old is the dc?

Her baby who she has fulltime with new partner is almost 1 - her other children are 7 and 4, who reside with their father

Would SS take the baby from her, just because the relationship has broken down ??

I would like to think as long as she can show she's a good parent the baby would not automatically be took off her and given to her dad.

I would assume he would have to go to court like everyone else and prove she was unfit to gain residency. I'm sure if your sister can show she's a good mum yes she's had problems but she's stable now then it would be more 50/50

If there's not a problem I doubt ss could intervene. Is there a way to screen shot those messages so if he does go chatting shit there's proof that was his plan so to speak?

Back2 thanks, I've just text her re taking the screen shots, good idea x

Does she do a lot of care for tgeHe baby on her own currently?

TeWi Yes, she is a SAHM whilst he works fulltime x

Who is doing what at present? Dad work all day? Both work? Baby at home with mum?

Ss say they need to be informed if he leaves. He has confirmed that he will do that. So he's being responsible in that sense

Ah x post

Remember, the parents ( either of them) don't actually have any 'rights', merely responsibilities

How do you think he would look after the baby whilst he works?

I had a friend in similar circumstances. She offered to wear an ankle bracelet that sounds an alarm if you drink, as well as monthly meetings with SS/HV and that resolved the matter.

stinking Really? I'll mention that to her, I've told her as long as she is the one making the contact with SS and cooperating hopefully she has no worries x

I think she should ring up ss first and co operate fully. If she's rings first it makes her look more open.

Back2 this is exactly what I said to her x

I just wanted to add that I know of two mothers whose older children live with their father and have weekend contact with their mother. ( one has 2 children who were removed due to past substance misuse and the other has one child who was removed as she was a very young mum who had mental health issues)

Anyway while I don't know all the in's and outs both these women are now single mums who have their youngest child (by a different father) live with them. Obviously for all I know the fathers in this case were unfit but I just wanted to share that it obviously can happen and it's not a given that because the mother doesn't have residency of one lot of children that she automatically won't get subsequent children either IYSWIM.

I think in these cases the children stay with the most reliable parent , not the "best" one.

In the case of her oldest two , her ex was more responsibleb at that time .

Its a diferent relationship , and shes doing well . Given te messages from the babys dad , id say your sister has more than a good chance of keeping residency .Proving she has good support can only help .