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Original poster

Friends asked me out for a drink and i'm too scared to go.......Stupid i know but......

30 replies

nutcracker · 04/03/2004 09:37

Right, heres the problem. I am 25 and could count on one hand the amount of times i've been out for a drink with friends. I can't remember when the last time was. Even when i was a teenager, i didn't go out hardly at all. Anyway, a friend of mine has asked me to go for a drink with her on friday night. She has been feeling a bit down latley and feels like letting her hair down. I do really really want to go, but the thought of it makes me feel ill. She wants us to go to a pub and then a club/bar (see i don't even know what they are called). The pub bit, i could probably just about manage, but the club bit is bringing me out in a cold sweat. I'm not sure why though. I don't/can't dance so maybe thats it. Another thing is that it only takes about two drinks and i'm half asleep. Help, how can i go and be happy about it. I don't want to let my friend down.

OP posts:
twiglett · 04/03/2004 09:40

message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/03/2004 09:45

Thanks Twiglett. Only prob with telling her a time i need to be home, is that she knows i haven't got to get up early the next day as she picks me up to take dd's dancing.

Another thing too, what the hell do i wear ??????

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collision · 04/03/2004 09:48

It sounds to me like you have just lost your confidence a bit, that's all. Could you not go for a meal in a pub instead? As Twiglett said, say you have to be home by 11pm cos of the kids etc. I bet you have a really good time though and dont want to go home!!

spacemonkey · 04/03/2004 09:49

nutty, go, but tell yourself you can leave at any time if you feel uncomfortable.

Maybe prearrange for dh to ring you at, say, 10pm so that you can use the call as an excuse to leave if you want to.

Kids are an ever present potential excuse for getting out of unwanted social engagements

If you give yourself plenty of reassurance beforehand that you can leave at any time, you will probably find yourself having a good time anyway X

collision · 04/03/2004 09:49

Play it safe and wear black trousers and a top you are comfy in. And comfy shoes (I AM getting old!!)

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/03/2004 09:59

Telling dp i am going out will be interesting. He hates me going anywhere

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collision · 04/03/2004 10:05

Then it is about time you did go out! Look at it as something you dont do much and you deserve a break. Have fun.

handlemecarefully · 04/03/2004 10:12

I sympathise. I hate clubs actually - smokey, noisey (have to shout to be heard) etc, predatory men...also, have particular tastes in music and can only dance competently if it's music I really like. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

If your friend is a true friend, she won't mind you be direct and honest with her and saying that you are up for the drink, but that clubbing isn't really your thing..... after all if the boot was on the other foot, you wouldn't like to think that your friend was feeling obliged to tag along and do something with you that she really wasn't keen on.

Fizog · 04/03/2004 10:19

I'm 25 and I hate clubs too. Would much rather sit in a bar/pub.

To be honest these days I just say to all my mates that I hate clubs and that I'll probably head off when the pubs shut... normally though they force feed me silly drinks until closing time and then I'm already in the oh f*ck it frame of mind and end up in a club. I still hate it but I always still have a laugh with my mates in there.

I don't dance either (not club dancing anyway). I just hover and people watch.

aloha · 04/03/2004 10:30

I dimly remember being 25 and felt too old to go clubbing even then. Say you'd love to come for a drink but don't want a late one (kids, partner, get too tired etc). Ask another friend to join you then your mate can go clubbing with her and you can go home. But DO go out. You deserve it.

prufrock · 04/03/2004 11:39

you don't have to dance in a club, and you could leave after the pub bit - you being there for some of the evening is being there for none.
As for drinks, either alternate alcohol and coke, or if you are feeling adventourous, drink vodka and red bull- you will definately not go to sleep then

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/03/2004 13:52

Right, my friend has just been over, to sort out what i'm wearing. Have just ordered the entire contents of the catolouge . She will be drinking red bull and vodka, and i think i will to, so i don't fall asleep. She knows it's been years since i went out, so i don't think she'll try to make me go anywhere i don't want to.
Dp has been fine about it, which is slightly strange but good too.
I am excited and nervous at the same time. I hope i'll be alright once i get there.
My mom is lending me her new boots too so thats good.
I'm just rambling now aren't i ??

OP posts:
Beetroot · 04/03/2004 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/03/2004 14:00

I've never actually been to a club though. Maybe i should at least try it ?? God i'm 25 and never been to a club, how sad is that

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MrsCodswallop · 04/03/2004 14:01

I hate clubs Nutty. go out for a drink go on go on
"Miss" says

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/03/2004 14:04

Thanx Coddy

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prufrock · 04/03/2004 14:06

Uh-oh. Never been to a club before, new clothes, vodka redbull. I can forsee a very messy night nutcracker which will probably end with you dancing like a banshee whilst totally plastered and high on caffiene. Go for it girl - just make sure dp is about looking after the kids in the morning as well

fairydust · 04/03/2004 14:23

nut - most of the best times had out are the ones were i didn't want to go.

You'll have a great time -

Original poster
nutcracker · 05/03/2004 18:46

Right my friend will be here in an hour and i feel sick with nerves. Ds has been throwing up all day too

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Grommit · 05/03/2004 18:50

Nutcracker - agree re. clubs - I hate them and would never have the confidence now to go to one again! Just go for a drink and see how it goes - you may really start enjoying yourself (after a feww Red Bulls and vodka) and want to go on after. Good Luck anyway

MrsCodswallop · 05/03/2004 19:14

oh for gods sake nutty - worst case you dot like it and come home

best case itmay be fantastic.

dont worry about it till it happens

Have a commendation

MrsCodswallop · 05/03/2004 19:17

have we told everyone I used to be her teacher?!!

ponygirl · 05/03/2004 19:19

Nutcracker - I know you're already out now, well I hope you are, but I hope you have a great time. You deserve to let your hair down. It just sounds like you're a bit out of practice. An hour or two and a couple of drinks and it'll all come back to you!

dinny · 05/03/2004 19:21

Nutcracker, I love clubbing - wish I wasn't preggers now, you are making me jealous - providing it's a good club you're off to.

You'll love it - just get grooving!

Original poster
nutcracker · 06/03/2004 13:28

Hello - Well i went and had a brilliant time. We went to 4 different bars and i didn't actually get drunk, despite having about 6 drinks (a couple of which were doubles). Wev didn't go to the club in the end because my friend didn't feel to well. I was home by 1 . Also didsn't have a hangover

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