Are you a "Delia" or a "Real Women" - Real Women me!!!

[Bumblelion]

Received this from a friend via e-mail, which I thought was quite good and wouold share it with those of you who haven't seen it.

Delia's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a wafer cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Gods sake.

Delia's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way: Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Delias way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakers. They'll even decorate it for you.

Delias way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".
The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you're cooking, that's tough. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delias way #5: Wrap celery in foil when putting in the fridge and it will keep for weeks.
The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Delias way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Women's Way: The Fray Bentos pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it.

Delias way #7: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using rubber gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women'sWay: Go ask the very gorgeous neighbour to do it.

Delias way #8: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?

Delias way #9: When catering for an evening buffet, calculate food portions and timings a week in advance, so that you're not rushing on the night.
The Real Women's Way: Nip into Marks & Sparks on the way home that evening, and buy everything in portioned packets.

Delias way #10:When you have finished the preparation for your buffet, wash up and treat yourself to a glass of wine.
The Real Women's Way: Hide the packets and drain the last of that "pre dinner" wine bottle.

Real woman all the way through (just as I always suspected!) Thanks Bumblelion -more fun things needed this week on here - I'm making it a mission to lighten up, come join the happy crew

I tried to make a victoria sponge the other day after my dh commented on how nice it looked in the paper (you know those recipes you get in the Saturday supplements). I did everything the recipe told me to do, except that I didn't "cream the butter and sugar" as I didn't know what that meant and the butter was too hard to mix in properly. Oh and I didn't sieve the flour as I couldn't see any lumpy bits in it to begin with, and I didn't beat my eggs before adding them to the mixture as I didn't read that bit. So the end result were two flat biscuit type things in my cake tins. So I cut them into shapes, added a bit of jam and pretended that I had made some yummy biscuits instead. He was none the wiser!

Reminds me of when my friend was moving into her first house and her mum suggested she buy some of those wine bottle stopper things. "When would I ever use them?"

Thanks Bumblelion for making me feel human again and not a miserable failure!! Its so good to see some light hearted fun on mumsnet after the last few days controversies.

LOL Bumblelion, especially the real woman's mantra "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes" - it really applies more in our household than it should. It is the innocent looking chilli powder that does it - how can that pretty red stuff turn out so lethal?!!

Very funny, Bumblelion! However, although I'm not a "Delia" I can only really relate to the "Real Woman" for ways 8 & 9. God, I sound soooo boring!

Oh no... I'm a 'Delia' ... can't I be a Nigella instead? Delia drives me wild as she never tastes anything and her hair is always set and ...(I won't go on). The only thing that isn't me is the keeping wine (I'd have to drink it)....
Very funny though bubblelion...

Winnie, at last, I've found someone else who loves cooking but doesn't love Delia! This is a bit mean but, don't you think she is starting to look like a dark haired version of Mrs Thatcher?
Her cooking is always so sterile and joyless. Give me Nigella or the Two Fat Ladies any day!

A dark haired version of Mrs. Thatcher
...MMMmmmm... what a concept; one was quite enough... but I know what you mean Bugsy. 'Joyless and sterile' sums her up completely for me too. Her programmes remind me of 'Farmhouse kitchen' which is something I remember watching at lunchtime in the seventies when I was at home from school ill!

I know her progammes are a bit "school teacher-ish" - and her presentation is a bit "flat" - but I do like the sound of some of her recipes and you can get some good ideas. The orange cake that she demonstrated on Tuesday looked yummy.

But then, I enjoy cooking.... but like Winnie, want to claim to be a Nigella rather than a Delia!

Worryingly I tally up much more with the Delia description rather than the Real Woman but wholeheartedly agree with Bugsy on her lack of humour, perfectly measured portions and psychopathically neat kitchen - yuck!

What about Jamie Oliver... I have recently tried his Roast beef.... Amazing !

Very funny - I have no idea who Delia is, but I can imagine (martha stewart?). I just read some of these to a friend - we both loved the "leftover wine?"...

Rhubarb - that is how I bake!

JoAnne, pretty much spot-on minus MS' recent brushes with domestic problems. Delia is a lady of unimpeachable virtue. She does also spare us any attempt to diversify into soft furnishings!

Must admit that I LOVE cooking ( & eating ) & used to enjoy Delia's recipes but I made her 'country style pate' in Book 3 - followed the recipe faithfully - & it was vile!

My favourite cookery writer is Nigel Slater - so human - anyone else like him? Recommend 'Appetite' his newest book.

Ooo Lindy, me, me, me! BIG Nigel Slater fan! His recipes work and they only have about 1/2 dozen ingredients max usually. Do his chicken with lemon, garlic and basil virtually every week. Gorgeous.

Thanks Tinker, haven't tried that one.

Agree with the comment about few ingredients, I HATE recipes which seem to list about 20 different items (does anyone really follow them properly?)

Me too Tinker, thats one of my faves, so quick and easy and very yummy. Easy for when people are coming over too.

Joanne247
Delia is a bit like Martha Stewart, but only on cookery. Martha S, for those who've never come across her, not only cooks, but makes her own cardboard boxes, organises her drying cupboard in alphabetical order, and grinds her own flour.
Did I imagine it, or did Martha Stewart once do an article on how to decorate a coffin??!!
But OH, Boy, she must be raking in the money...

FMS...yes, she is way over the top! We often joke about what her "to do" list must look like..

1. Take the outdoor garden and plant it indoors
2. Build a strip mall
3. Paint it (with the "Martha Stewart" paint line, of course) then have lunch...gourmet, made by self for neighborhood...

will have to check out Nigel Slater, as I love all the ingredients mentioned!

Oh, and yes, she is absolutely LOADED!!! She and Oprah are about the wealthiest women in America - I saw MS on Oprah's show while I was on maternity leave - they were having an absolute love fest with each other. Gag me! had to turn off the tv...maybe I am a bit jealous???

Oooh, I LOATH Delia. I pathologically watch her programme and shout at the screen. What is it with her "cook your fried egg for exactly 7 minutes" For god's sake it's done when it's bloody done. And WHY does she always have to say "freshly milled black pepper"? For five bloody years she's been saying that, I think we've got the point by now. And then she shows you pictures of nice food but the message is buy my books if you want to know how to make them.

Obviously hit a bit of a raw nerve here.

Give me Nigel Slater or Jamie Oliver any day.

Delia - winds me up but I have to watch her every time she's on.

BTW try Nigella's Easy Sticky Toffee Pudding from Nigella Bites. It really is easy and tastes out of this world. Delish with vanilla ice cream. Mmmmmm. Sorry folks got a bit carried away there.

And wasn't Delia her worst ever on this week's show? That must be it, I think she has said she isn't writing any more cookery books.

Agree that Nigella's sticky toffee pudding is excellent; on the subjects of puddings try Nigel Slater's 'chocolate apple betty' very, very yummy!

No, Delia's worst ever moment was the day she demonstrated to a grateful nation the correct way to make toast.