Am I being unreasonable about this?

[west3]

Brother has set wedding date for Jan 2007, DH is meant to be going on ski holiday at same time, no tickets booked but commitment to go made. I think he should be at wedding with me, dd and ds; not only because it is important to me but also to help me with kids. DD will be 6 and DS 18 months at time of wedding and the event will involve at least one night in a hotel. I know the important thing is that I am there but I feel it will be difficult with just one pair of hands. Must add that my relatives are all quite elderly and it would be unfair to land one of the kids onthem to look after. Pearls of mumsnet wisdom gratefully received

Well, it is your brother, not just some distant relative, so I would expect him to change his plans. what does your DH say?

Yeh I think he should be there. Could dh change the date for the holiday?

What kind of commitment? Will he be letting other people down? Could he not shift it by a week or so?

He says he is committed to going skiing and it is unfair of me to ask him to cancel. He is of the opinion that it is my family and if the situation was reversed he wouldn't expect me to change my plans. I am someone who thinks family is important and would/have bent over backwards to help with and attend his family functions.

Unfortunately holiday dates cannot be changed as they are going just after new year when work is still closed for xmas/new year hols ( no holiday allocation required). If went other time would eat into his holiday allocation for year.

If they haven't booked it, why can't he change the date?