Is it me or would this make YOU paranoid too?

[unpaidcleaner]

Dd has a school friend who she plays with a lot.We've had this friend round loads of times in the past 2 years or so -she's a very nice little girl and it's no problem at all having her. Sometimes she comes for tea or just for a play, for a few hours. usually comes about once a month or so at the weekends. However, my dd has not once been invited to her house. Her mum seems v nice, and nearly every time she comes to drop her little girl at ours or pick her up, she says' oh we must have (my dd) round to ours soon'. Well, its' gone on so long now i've stopped expecting this invitation to materialise, and i dont really know why she keeps saying it! But i know from my dd that other friends have been invited round several times, and my dd is a bit hurt by this and can't understand it either. So what's going on?! Is it me? It can't be my dd or her mum wouldnt let her keep coming round to ours. Am I paranoid?!

Maybe the other mum suggests days for her DD to go to this other girl's house?

How does she end up coming to you, does she call and suggest it? Can you call and suggest that she take your DD?

(How old is your DD? Why doesn't your DD try to arrange something?)

Maybe her house is a mess and shes embarrassed

Why not invite the mum in for a cuppa too to get to know each other a bit better. Maybe she has some preconceptions about you that are making her too paranoid to invite your DD (don't take that personally but you can never predict what goes on in other people's heads ).

We invite the girl to ours, by phone, and she accepts. I'd never ask for an invite to someone else's house - do people do that?!! My dd has tried to get herself invited by asking her friend but the friend says she'll ask her mum and then nothing ever happens!

i'd assume she is somehow embarrassed about her home, maybe its size or location.

perhaps there is someone at home who is ill.

I always ask her mum in, she always says no thanks.

but if she was embarrassed about something at home she wouldn't invite the other kids round, it's just my kid who doesn't get invited!

Next time she says she must invite your dd around sometime. Ask well, how about Friday this week? Monday and Wednesday the week after would suit us too, what's best for you?

Done

Maybe she's just really scatty and these other kids are only getting in because they/their mums are inviting themselves. In which case I feel sorry for her DD if her mum keeps ruining her social life like that.

agree with ssandy..suggest a date the moment she says "we must have your dd round". It could even be that she's really shy and fearful of suggesting a date in case you say no! If I said that to someone, I would hope they would say in reply "yes, lovely, how about a week today?" or something - if they just said "oh yes" and nothing else I might get paranoid and think oh well, they're not that keen.

so perhaps she keeps saying it so that you will kind of 'organise' her a bit?

Don't assume the worst i.e. that she doesn't like you/ is taking advantage etc. The reason I say this is because at one point I could probably have been like this mum - ds got invited to lots of friends and I always said, 'we must have X back' but somehow never got round to organising it. However he had other friends round, but that was because a) they were on-going long-standing friendships or I knew the Mums really well or they had kids the same age as DS2, so I saw them at the nursery and made arrangements. She may just be really scatty!

I'd suggest you do as SSandy suggests...