Does Mumsnet sometimes make you feel you are at one extreme of the spectrum when perhaps you are somewhere in the middle?

[FrannyandZooey]

It does me. On here I feel like one of the lentilliest lentil weavers, and then when I meet a real one I feel like the eco-tourist I really am (i.e someone just playing at being green instead of really devoting their life to it).

I also feel on here that I am seen on here as being on the "completely obsessive" end of the scale about sun exposure, but talking to friends last night I realised I am actually in the relaxed area. Wow, some people are really bothered about sun cream. I mean really really bothered.

Is MN an accurate cross section of real life or are we just a bunch of oddballs?

Yep; I feel a total slob and Uncaring Parent and Junk Food Advocate here. In real life I am in fact quite bothered about my children, and indeed about what they eat.

deffo oddballs!I am the opposite though Lots of my RL friends consider me quite lentilly but I don't feel it on MN at all.
I am very suncream obsessive on here but so are most of my friends!

No, I don't let MN affect how I am day to day. I have an open mind about certain subjects but ultimately I think I just am the way I am. ie, the occasional Fruit Shoot isn't going to kill my kids, sun cream is sensible and protects them, as do bike helmets, and we are a normal family and eat normal things, some healthy and others not so. Everything (well nearly everything) in moderation is the way I live I suppose!

I love the debate though!

TBH lately some of the threads have made me realise that I'm not the only going through the problems and difficulties that I face. Or even just the daily hastle from the kids is not that different from others.

But I would agree that we are a bunch of odd balls . Isn't everyone?

Oh, MN also made me feel like I was very slobby and boringly dressed (all the style threads, I really suffered from peer pressure on this one!) with a very inadequate wardrobe, so I set out to remedy this, and am very very pleased I did.

MN is a cult. Any day now i expect the mn newsletter to demand we pack up and move to a big barn where we will await the return of the master who will take us to Ferusidar in his big gold spaceship.

no, i think we are not normal. well, i think I'm not normal. i suspect you are all computer sprites, figments of my imagination or hairy lard-arsed truckers.

I feel like I fail at almost everything when I hear about all that others do on here but i do feel like people on here do put up with my crapness and are kind about it

I think being on-line, as opposed to being face-to-face, encourages you to respond in a number of ways that help you find your way to the outer edges. Mainly I think you put down what you really really think (or what you'd really really like to think) without the niceties and compromises of face-to-face conversation; I think if you're having a chat with someone at play group/at the school gates that (unless you are naturally aggressive) you seek ways to agree with them or to find things you agree on - sometimes it involves a bit of mental gymnastics, or dragging up a particular experience of being in the other person's shoes - but basically I think we strive to do that much more face-to-face than on here (that's not meant to be judgmental - purely observational). Secondly I think you focus on a given issue here - when a thread is on subject x you really hone in on it, and you don;t think about the relevance of what you may have said on a different thread about y - you don;t (well, I don;t) feel a need to be a "whole" person with a joined-up faintly cohesive set of values. And you can say something on issue x without fear of being caught out for idiosyncracies - we actually know very little about the details of people's lives so you can say something on an issue (eg something a bit green) without fear of being hauled over the coals because someone happens to know that sometimes you tumble dry your towels. Or even if they do know that and you admit to being made up of idiosyncacies - they seem more palatable on line than in rl. I feel less at risk of being judged here - I feel less like I need to justify who I am and less need to mould myself into some perfect cohesive entity - which I'm not. (my opinions and my posts might be judged - but not my person)

i find i express my opinions more readily here, bf-ing for example. in rl i try not to talk about it much as i know very few women who did and they all get very defensive the moment you mention it...'oh well i would have bf too but......'. i always end up feeling awkward and preachy which wasn't my intention so i generally don't bother! on here though i tend to be far too opinionated for my own good!

Message withdrawn

Yes definitely.

But mumsnet has also made me much more "extreme" on some issues than I used to be. Breastfeeding for example, and food.

And sometimes, I just get caught up in an argument and argue for the hell of it, tbh. I am trying not to do that anymore, because I do realise it is a complete waste of life and I ought to be doing something more entertaining and improving...

Yes you are right

I would not hesitate to give my opinion or share my knowledge on here, but in RL you often end up fudging it.

It's a shame because usually on here it's apparent there is no judgement or criticism implied, and I have really learnt from and beem challenged by (in a good way) more outspoken posters.

I feel generally inadequate whenever I read/post. Whatever topic I'm viewing, someone is doing it as I would really love to but essentialy I'm not! I feel 'virtually' intimidated by a lot of MN's but should add, full of admiration too.

Yes I'm far less likely to voice an opinion in RL than I used to be, because I now know that I might be percieved as criticising, judging, etc. Whereas before, it didn't cross my mind that anyone might give a flying f*k what I thought.

Oh yes, it absolutely does F&Z, i.e. on food threads I bang on about good food and stuff and I DO care about it, I do, but am not as rabid as I'm sure I sound. I was thinking this this morning as my children had lollies for breakfast in the interests of my having an easy morning

And someone reading my posts on food might think I was very down on, say, telly or something but actually, I let my children watch quite a lot of it, can't get worked up about it really. I am rabid on the subject of children at weddings though, I'm really bothered, here and IRL!

I'm actually fairly restrained on MN compared to real life , as wishfulthinking says it can be a bit intimidating at times; there are some frighteningly intelligent people on MN and I'm well aware some of my views would easily be torn apart - I can't keep up half the time for one thing!

I bottlefeed in RL.

ITA with Hatwoman, a very eloquent answer I couldn't possibly have expressed as well.
But I have learnt a lot from parenting sites about how sensitive people are, how strong opinions can really depress other people and have learnt to pussyfoot a lot more IRL. Might make me more woolly-minded but being able to quote different sides to a subject makes me a better debater/conversationist (-alist? -ioner?) and less of the trampling rhino I used to be.

i bloody knew it HM - i bet you wean at 8 weeks straight onto sausage rolls and sunnyD,. don't you? don't you??!!!!

8 weeks? No. 9.

Sorry, Franny, I know this is a serious thread. I don't do serious that well in RL either though

I'm less likely to be "confrontational" in RL - it's harder to give your opinion when someone's interrupting.

And I do own weaning spoons

ha ha hunker. Dino is ITA I Totally Agree? I haven't come across it before. Hatwoman, wise words, absolutely.

I say fuck more on here too.

But I think it in RL

Do you HM, I really curb my language on here. I am a potty mouth, I dream about Gordon Ramsay as do many, but I don't want to touch him, just get furious and mouthy over a ruined sabayonne.

Yes I think I say fuck in RL more than on here.

Except when I'm trying to annoy mad people who disapprove of mother's swearing, of course.