Appropriate punishment

[jampots]

Ive been out this evening for a couple of hours and have just got back to absolute mayhem.

It would appear that:

dh was whinging and having a go at dd. She shut her bedroom door in his face and he saw red and punched it through Then she (pissed off) threw her drumstick at her mirror wardrobe door and chipped it. Not to be outdone dh then decided to boot it and it has broken all over the floor. Unbeleivably, no one thought to actually clear the mess up.

I am at a complete loss as to what punishment to dish out apart from stopping her allowance until the price of a new door has been covered.

Jampots - what a nightmare to come home to after a night out and

I cannot see how you can possibly punish your DD after your DH's appalling behaviour. I too would worry about my children thinking this is acceptable and would definitely be exploring how I could reduce the amount of time he is around the children to as close to nil as possible!

Easier said than done, I know!

He's not very nice to you either even when you are there IIRC. What is making you hang onto him?

Jampots, you must be really stressed about this. I've already had my twopennorth, but wanted to come back and say (((((((hug))))))).xx

Oh, bugger, sorry, it's Greensleeves

I'd actually be tempted to be on your DD's side, very firmly, JP.

She has to learn that there are consequences to not being able to control your temper - but do that by example by kicking DH out.

I have a horrible, mammoth temper, btw - it takes every ounce of everything I have to keep it in check sometimes.

Im kinda thinking though, that hunker is right there.

Personally, I would not punish the DD. She was probably pretty scared if her Dad punched her door through and was having a go and I would not hold her responsible for reacting as she did. I would be having serious words with my DH though and laying the law down that if anything like that happened ever again he would have to have some sort of therapy.

It would be unfair to punish dd in view of dh's behaviour, but you need to talk to her so she know's what happened and why she is not being punished and that her behaviour, although a reaction to dh, is still not acceptable.

As for dh, I really don't know but you can't spend the rest of your life scared to go out in case it happens again. Even if you got a babysitter, he could still be in the house and that would be difficult for everyone.