**** URGENT **** HELP ME KICK NON-RSVPers UP THE 'ARRIS..........

[NomDePlume]

DD is having a 4th birthday party soon. She/We/I have invited loads of kids from her nursery class and the majority have responded. I left my name & number on the invite so they could call, or they could leave the slip at nursery for me to collect.

I'm in a bit of a quandry with the remaining non-responders (4/20). I don't have the contact numbers/addresses of the parents and Thursday is the last day of nursery term (DD leaves for good - ), so if I don't give a gentle reminder asap, I'm left relying on them to get in touch with me. It has been over a week since I handed the invitations out.

I'm as guilty as anyone for forgetting/losing invitations (2 so far this term, have had to 'phone the parents to apologise when I've found the bits of paper in my car , so I'm not trying to make them feel bad etc, but I do want a reply (even if it's a 'bog off' ).

Sooooooooooooo, the way I see it, I have 2 options.

Option 1 - Compose a little polite reminder for the stragglers and leave it at nursery to be collected

OR

Option 2 - Leave it and wait for their 'phone calls (I have to have the numbers and food choices ready for the venue by the 1st August)

What would you do ? If it's opt 1 (which I'm verring towards, being the control freak that I am), please give me an example of how you would word the reminder...

Cheers

veering

did u give a date to rsvp by?

How terrible would it be if they didn't respond and then turned up? If you are paying per person, or places have to be set, I'd go for option 1. If not, I'd take a working assumption that they are not coming.

I sympathise - hardly anyone RSVPs round here .

I didn't, MOM, no (Bum, knew I'd forgotten something). But TBH, around here the party invite ettiquette seems to dictate that invites are sent out 2 weeks pre-party (ours had to go out sooner than that because DD's party is mid-summer hols), so I'd assumed (rather naively) that most parents would respond within 7-10 days.

Hal - It wouldn't be a disaster. There are plenty of other kids coming so the party wouldn't really feel any less exciting for DD. I am paying per head for the kids, so if they haven't RSVP'ed by 1st August then I'll have to mark them down as declines.

It's a pain really as 2 of the kids coming are DD's best friends (the parents don't know each other, but the girls talk about each other incessantly).

I would put something like

"Hope you received the invitation to dd's party safely - I know they can sometimes go astray! I forgot to mention on the original note - would it be possible to let me know whether or not X will be coming, by XX of July? Thanks so much."

How very civilised, Ms F&Z. Thanks

I'd opt for the gentle reminder, and mention that the venue insists on final numbers by a certain date. That gives them the option to reply if they've forgotten/ mislaid the invitation or ignore if they're not interested.

I would check with nursery, however, that the families are actually around at present- being summer, they might be on holiday and not aware that you're fretting! If they're not about you could put a stamp on the envelope and ask nursery to address them for you. ( We had to do that when dd's party was after Christmas, but the invitations went out just before the 2 week Christmas Nursery shut-down.

Is that control-freaky enough for you

I would go the polite reminder route:
Dear all -
Thank you to those who have replied to our party invitation.
As I have to let the venue know how many children will be attending, could those who haven't confirmed let me know BY TOMORROW if they will be able to come?

Thank you - and we very much look forward to seeing you all at **'s birthday celebrations.

I actually attached 'return' slips with ds's invitations asking for dietary requirements as I know many of the children have veggie/ no beef / no pork / allergies etc etc, and I needed to plan the food. One parent told me the day before that her child had a huge list of serious allergies - and I was working 8am-7pm that day. Grrrrrrr!

Thanks Tissy and Blu.

The party invites did have return slips and I left my phone no, so there are/were 2 ways of RSVPing. I will go down the reminder route and I'll check the families are around.