Got to have a bit of a rant ....

[carla]

Picked up dd1 from school today, as always with dd2. The reception class has its own little courtyard, where the older children aren't allowed to play. However, at picking up times lots of mums with little ones allow their children to play in there whilst waiting for older childrens' class to finish. Today, strangely, there were no outdoor toys out there, and Alex asked me if she could play out there. For the first time, inexplicably, there were no other little ones to join her. Seeing how tidy it was, I just said yes of course, but someone's tidied up, so don't get anything out of the shed. I watched her from Anna's class. She had just descended into the sand pit, nothing in her hands, when I saw a very cross looking (I imagine a teacher) looking at her. School secretary was next to her, photocopying the bollocksy newsletter, opened the door, barked something at Alex whereupon she came running out and sat on my lap. Furious, I politely asked why she had sent Alex out. Reply:

It's just like a playgroup in here. We can't have the younger ones playing out there and with the toys(fake smile, you should know what I mean kind of thing).

My gripes are:

1. She saw me looking out of the window - why couldn't she have asked me to remove Alex, instead of barking at a 4 year old who would obviously be traumatised by being told off by a complete stranger.

2. If they felt so strongly about it, why couldn't they have made a point in their otherwise pretty inconsequential newsletters, so parents could have acted upon it?

3. If parents have to wait in the classroom for class to finish, isn't it a much better idea for younger siblings to spend their energy outside, rather than disrupt the classroom, however parents may try to control this.

I'm tempted to put this in a letter to the head, but don't want Anna and Alex ostracised for the rest of their primary school years. And I bet school secretaries are the first to open the head's post. To cap it all, school sec knows I'm the mum of Alex as her DH and my DH used to work in the same school for years.

That's the last time I'm making orange and bay garlands for their Christmas Fair!

Any thoughts, anyone? Or have I overreacted?

no one?

Be ultra nice and say how it's possible you missed the notice that the little ones weren't to play there; it was in the newsletter, wasn't it and you always read them? (I know it wasn't but...) Apologize to the teacher for having your little one in the classroom and mention again how nice it was to have her run around outside. (Ie, get her on your side.) Pick a moment when your littlie is causing the most disruption. Be sweet about it and give them a chance to rethink it themselves.

Hope you see what I'm saying. I'd be cross, too!

Carla, I'd say the secretary handled it badly and should ideally have asked you to bring dd in. I would write to the school asking them to clarify the rules for using the play area at picking up time too. I'd probably avoid saying anything accusatory about the secretary though if it's a one off incident. Sorry you were upset X

I would be rather annoyed too - along with a certain amount of feeling a unnecessarily embarrassed and defensive. I could back them up syaing how i can see it could be irritating for them, maybe they had a bad day, they are in a stressful job etc. etc. but let?s face it - she was rude and OTT in talking to a 4 year old.

Personally, though, I would yell about it to my longsuffering DH to get it off my chest (kids out of earshot), enjoy a glass of wine and long soak in the tub then forget about it. Life is too short to let irritating bossy boots mess up your day - and your kids?.
You are right - although I doubt your kids would be ostracised for the rest of their school days, it could make it uncomfortable for a while and not wirth upsetting them over this IMO. The teacher/sec. are obviously not tactful people and can?t rely on them remaining professional and not taking it out on them even without realising it.

sorry - crap spelling and punctuation. Jiggling a baby on my knee and watching my DD watch Nemo on the other computer!!

I agree with point 1 and agree that they should have made it clear somehow that they were no longer happy for siblings to play there. Could it be that they had just told everyone else to remove their children, hence the fact that there were no others there?

No SD, I'm always the first to arrive. Thanks everyone - you've no idea how upset this has made me feel. Just got a letter day before yesterday saying dd2's got in for September - I was elated - and now, well, deflated. So good of you to share your thoughts with me. Thanks!

By the way, v. important thing I forgot to add - when little siblings go in the courtyard all the stuff's out there already. So why blame them for getting it out? Grrrrh. Just today it was tidied away.

Hi carla, I'd be really furious if someone spoke to my DD like that. In our home at least, we tend to ask and explain why DD should or shouldn't do things, not bark orders (well, not in the first instance ) Thing is, I expect everyone to have the same respect for her, and I can well and truly see myself in your position in the future (DD's 22 months). IMO it was basically rude and innapropriate of the seceratary not to have approached you first and explained what her problem was. Am I just fueling the fire? Sorry if so , but I really do sympathise. If it were me I think I'd approach the seceratary next time I saw her (basically 'cause I have no self control, at present and wouldn't be able to stop myself ) and ask her to verify why she wasn't happy with what DD was doing, and why (whatever her problem was) she took it out on a 4 year old, rather than approaching me. Pointing out that barking at my child might be a short term solution (of sorts), but that I had to know what the problem was to be able to deal with it effectively in the future. At the end of the day, I'd be fairly traumatised if a stranger shouted at me for no reason that I knew of, so, I'd be angry if someone acted like that towards DD too.

This has made me very weepy today. Do you think there's any way I could get rid of the offensive to the school bits, and print this off? Or am I dammned with the bollocys newsletter thing? How can something so stupid make you upset all day?